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The Day
As the my eyes close I feel all hope leaving my body, the dark could inside me grown until I feel nothing but black.
I sit in my room staring up at the ceiling, thinking about how things will change.
Moving, something that I have always dreaded. This is not the first time that I am leaving everything behind and building a new life. Every time I get through it but this time will be different.. A new high school with people already in their clique not wanting anything to change.
The sun starts coming up over the horizon. Sun rays shining through the window, I get up and pull the blackout curtains over the window, casting a dark shadow over the room. I crawl back into bed looking at my alarm clock as it suddenly goes off with a “Beep, Beep…” I slap it down to the floor dreading the day. Walking into the building with all the intense people around hurrying around to get where they need to be. Hoping that the time might just stop, I watch minutes tick by, releasing that I have to get up and walk out into the light.
I set foot into school, sounds all around of people chatting with friends, I walk to my locker looking at it in dreading life, then straight to class, right past my friends screaming my name. I hope that somehow they might just vanish.
As it sit in the room, people start to file in. I hear my name but pay no attention. The rest of the day passes by without a word to any onew. I wonder what they think happened, I start to feel as if I should tell them whats taking place. As the last bell rings I start walking to the bench, having no plan, I walk faster and faster hoping that it would get easier. The bench comes into sight, breathing heavily the turn and run. Past the bus stop where I took bus home, past moms work wondering if she is in her office, the tree where I sat with my ”boyfriend” for kindergarten. Only when I am in my bed under the comforter do I stop and take a breath.
The last day of my life was over and I had not spoken a word. Everything was over my so called friends I would never see me again. I step into the icy shower, as I stand in water dripping down my face, while mascara and eyeliner cascade down my face. Feeling as if I need more.I turn on the water for the bathtub. Watching the it slowing rise, stepping one foot into the frigid water, slowing submerging myself until, I feel the water seeping into my mouth. I do nothing just hoping that my heart will stop the pain. Hoping that everything will go back to the way it was, just months ago. Knowing that this is impossible. I stay under the water watching the lights ass they fade out.
In the distance I hear eoching of my phone, wondering if I should get up and get it, everything turn back.
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