The light streamed through the window, highlighting the handwriting on his homework as he tried to focus on studying. Senior year was exactly as he had expected, nothing new or exciting. He hadn’t chosen a college yet, but he had been accepted into all those he heard back from so far, many of which were very solid choices. He swiveled around in his chair to gaze outside, lost in thought of what the future held for him. High school was fun, but ultimately unfulfilling. Something was missing, but he couldn’t place what. Shaking his head and bringing himself back to reality, he shut his computer and went to bed.
The next morning he felt the same. Sitting down to eat breakfast, he pushed on through the feeling, attributing it to lack of sleep, food, or realistically, both. He walked out the door in order to continue on with his routine, trying to place his finger on what the feeling was and why he felt that way.
Sitting in his second period senior English class, he daydreamed as his classmates discussed a trivial story centered on a writer’s struggles. Through the drone of the discussion, he picked up a key word: “inspiration”. It struck him. That was it. He realized that his missing feelings were inspiration and hope. He didn’t really feel alive or heavily involved in or excited by anything he was doing. Although he was pleased that he pinpointed the feeling, he wondered what the source was. Watching the clock slowly move, he pondered what he could change to restore his former wonder and appreciation of the world. “Maybe I’ve just gotten used to the same old things over and over again,” he wondered, scouring his brain for other causes. Resolving to explore new things in order to inspire himself once again, he set off on the rest of his day with a renewed sense of hope.
On his drive home, he approached the usual set of roundabouts, and decided to start trying new things now. Glancing off to the left, he observed the road snake up into the nearby forested hills. Never having driven the street before, he took the exit for the road and noticed the complete lack of other cars on it.  “Eh, why not?” he thought as he mashed the gas pedal, speeding up, and shooting him up the hill. The road quickly began to weave and turn, causing him to mash on his brakes and making him realize he needed to chill out. After a mile or two of hill climbing, the road curved around and began to head back down the hill. The road was perfectly shaded by large towering trees, with a deep valley on one side and minimal guard rails. As he was mentally making a note to start taking this route more often, he heard a turbo spool up as a black Volkswagen hatchback suddenly rocketed around him at double the speed limit, passing him on a blind corner. Swerving out of the way, he shouted “This guy’s a maniac!”  as the VW disappeared around the curve, leaving only a swirl of autumn leaves behind him. Slowly continuing his drive down the twisty road, he looked for the VW on every turn off, but he never spotted the car. As he pulled back on to the main roads and headed home, he vowed to improve his driving skill enough to keep up with the VW. “Actually, why stop there?”, he thought to himself. “I’ll get better than him. How hard can it be?” Stopping at a red light, he suddenly noticed how driven he felt. His purpose had returned to him. Looks like trying new things helped after all.
As he turned onto the road again, he gradually gave the car gas as he began his hill climb. Readying himself for the series of three sharp turns into a straight section that came up, he prepared to downshift. Turning in to the first corner and shifting down into second, he felt the car rapidly slow down as he screwed up the rev-matching again. It had been a month since he started researching driving technique, and although he had gotten better, progress was slower than he had hoped. He reached the peak of the hill, turning around again and starting his descent as it began to heavily rain. Taking the first corner, he felt himself start to slide around on the wet pavement. And then- a familiar sound of turbo spool behind him. The black VW was back as it once again it passed him on a corner, showing no regard for the slick conditions. Determined to not be left behind again, he began pushing himself to keep up with the hatchback. As he rocketed down the road, trying not to be lost, he watched the black VW speed up and slow down, almost like it was taunting him. Resolving not to be embarrassed again, he decided to try to give the VW a taste of his own medicine, and started trying to pass him on blind corners. As one came up, he mashed the gas, and began to pass him, only to see approaching headlights suddenly become very bright. Swerving out of the way of the oncoming car, he clipped the guard rail with his rear quarter panel, causing him to slide out and rocket towards the edge of the road that ended in a steep ravine. Slamming on his brakes, he heard the rapid fire pulses of his ABS system triggering as he attempted to control the slide, ending up with his rear tires inches from the edge. Gradually releasing his death grip on the steering wheel, he watched the color slowly return to his fingers, illuminated by the soft blue light of his gauge cluster. After sitting for a minute or two, he got out and looked around, but the black Volkswagen was nowhere to be seen. He headed home, thinking about his narrow escape the rest of the drive back. “What now?” he wondered.
That night, he couldn’t sleep. Plagued with thoughts of what could have happened if he didn’t recover the slide, he tried to shake the image of the steep ravine out of his head. “What was I thinking? Passing on a blind corner just to try to beat some guy I’ve never even met? Really? That’s how I chose to try to feel alive?” He slept minimally the rest of the night, unable to escape his thoughts.
He approached the roundabout as usual the next day, quickly looking up into the dark forested road and just now noticing the old blue sign urging drivers to be safe in memory of a group of teenagers that hadn’t been. He looked back ahead, skipped the exit for the road, and headed home.
As he analyzed what went wrong on that road, he thought about what led him to that point. Realizing that he had been attempting to fill a hole in his life with risky behavior, he decided to make a change in how he was dealing with it. “Instead of trying to fill this emptiness with something new, why not explore and understand better what I already know and have?” he asked himself.
Deciding that he needed to simply appreciate the world around him instead of trying to force life into his world, he chose to instead start researching mindfulness and meditation. Hanging up his interest in racing for the time being, he began concentrating on focused internal self improvement. Encouraging himself to lead a peaceful and aware life, he began to simply appreciate things for what they were instead of trying to derive any inspiration from them. He felt at peace with the world. Simply appreciating the world for what it offered opened up a new perspective for him, and he quickly became more and more interested in what self-introspection had to offer. This interest carried him throughout the much of the rest of the year.
Time had come to make decisions about college. He had a dilemma, and as he had recently started doing, took a drive to think things over. Approaching the entrance to the road, he decided to turn on to it, but take it nice and slow this time. As he slowly drove the road, he thought about his future. Either he would attend college for engineering for automotive or mechanical, or he would choose to pursue a completely different type of life. Due to the immense mental progress he had made as a result of his focused self improvement, he had been thinking about instead pursuing a life as a monk, as he felt like it had given him a new way to deal with his lack of inspiration. However, a life as a monk was unappealing to his parents as they felt it meant he wouldn’t amount to anything. He however, interpreted it differently, as he saw it as a way to enjoy the world more and appreciate it to its full extent.
Over the next few days, he struggled to come to a conclusion about what he wanted to do with his future. Both of his options were promising, but he didn’t want to miss out on either walk of life. However, he felt if he continued with his engineering education, he would get to the same point of lack of inspiration again, and just get stuck in a cycle. But living a life as a monk would probably be ultimately unfulfilling as well.  Neither option seemed like it would fully help him get where he wanted to. His lack of inspiration seemed to be creeping back slowly.
Sitting in his car watching the sunrise, he saw a bird glide by. As he watched it make slow banking turns, he noticed how the bird kept a balance. The bird made graceful turns with gradual movements, making no sudden twists or sharp adjustments. As he recalled what happened the night on the road, he realized that was where he went wrong. His rapid sharp inputs had thrown him off, causing him to lose control. He had been out of balance, just like with his life. Suddenly aware of his faults, he decided to make a change and start working towards a balance in his life instead. “Why choose only being an engineer or pursuing a life of a monk? I can do both if I balance them properly.” Inspired with a new drive, he started down the road just in time to get passed by the black VW.