Tom

“Why why me?! How can this happen to me of all people!” Tom gets really angry whenever he sees himself in the mirror. Now Tom is only 400 pounds and counting and he has a longer beard than Gandalf the grey. After Tom is finally out of the bathroom that is destroyed by s*** on all the walls cause he can’t control himself. He slowly but surely walks to his kitchen and slowly reaches down to grab one of his many hot pockets. So Tom grabs three of them and throws all of them in the microwave that is smaller than a toaster. He jamms all of them in there and furiously waits for the two minutes to come to a halting end. Right when the timer hits zero he quickly grabs the hot pockets out like they were on sale at black friday. He as with anyone grabbing hot pockets burns himself and then cries out “s***! This is gonna mess up my streak to get to the master prestige”. He then goes into his small living room full of orange and manure. He slowly goes down to his sofa and as he sets on the sofa you can hear the springs in the chair crying for mercy. Next he grabs his gaming controller for his PS4 and tries turning on the console with the controller. After minutes of trying to get the console on from the controller, he realizes that it’s dead. So now Tom has to do the unthinkable, the unbearable and move his lazy ass for once. “Damnit”, Tom yells to his tv like a little kid. As he gets up you can hear the springs in the chair releasing tension as if they were holding in a fart for years. So they start cheering with relief of pain.
But as Tom and his 400 pound body reached down to press the power on his gaming console, he starts to slowly lean towards the tv. Within a solid two seconds he realizes what is happening so he tries to fly his body backwards, but he has too much of a body mass to move it. So here comes the massive wrecking ball that is about to destroy everything in it’s path. His left shoulder smashes the tv like a train nailing a car that is stuck on the tracks. Then the next thing to go was his PS4, so he stepped on it and broke it like it was Godzilla tearing through the ground. “F***, well that’s just wonderful” Tom said.
About 1 hour later of Tom staring at the all the destruction he created, his sister called. “Hey” she said to Tom.
“What do you want?” Tom said.
“Would you like to go get something to eat?”
“You know I’m broke”.
“I can pay for you and we can go where you want.”
“Alright fine we will go to burger king”.
“Okay see you in 20 minutes”.
“Whatever”.
So Tom then went to his room that was was full of dust and red leather, everything was red in that room. It’s the color that really comforted him, for some reason. He slowly goes to the right where his cupboard was for all 3 of his clothes, cause they were the only one’s that fit him. The shirt he grabs was blue until all the leftover food he got on it and then it turned to yellow over time. The pants he grabbed were Crimson sweat pants, because why not? He went into the kitchen and scrambled to find his car keys, he kept finding more and more cardboard fittings for old hot pockets, still with some fresh cheese left on them. Then he finally found his car keys after a long five minutes. He went outside for the first time that week and walked down these small flights of stairs to his 90’s S10 v8 truck. The truck was blue like his old shirt, but like everything else, he never washed it. The car door wasn’t like any other car door, he had to grab the crowbar in the back of his cab. As he furiously propped the door open with the faded crowbar, He tried to get up and into the truck. After an awkward two straight minutes he finally got in his truck. He pushed the clutch in to start up the truck. It kept cranking over but nothing happened, so he let go then tried it again. Again nothing, then this next time he was tapping on the gas a bit and then it finally spurted into life. In excitement of his truck revving up he revved it a couple of times. Now his truck was a straight piped V8. What this means is that instead of having a cat converter and mufflers to silence the car, he had a pipe that went straight back. So it could easily wake up a herd of 500 chickens.
As Tom starts to drive off to burger king he pulls up to a light and sees a trashed honda that is next to him. Now this driver felt like he had it all, so he starts to rev at Tom. The sound that came out of his honda sounded like the $29:99 leaf blower you buy at Walmart. Tom then looks over to see this Honda driver vaping.
Then the honda driver said “I’ll beat your american pos you fat loser.”
Tom quickly had a bigger grin on his face than the grinch and he said “alright then”.
The honda “racer” kept revving over and over again, while Tom kept quiet. As they both stare at the street light it looked like the last race in fast and furious one. The street ahead was nothing but a straight for a good mile and no cars in sight. Then finally the light turned green, the honda went off while Tom was stuck doing a burnout. But the Honda boy kept shifting late and not within 3 seconds all the power from Tom’s truck passed him.
The Honda guy kept trying to catch up then he yelled “Baby come back! You can blame it all on me!!”
Tom quickly said to himself, “I bet his parents don’t even love him”.
On the same road he pulls into the burger king and parks next to his sister. His sister is the opposite of him, she is a tree hugger so she drives a prius. Everytime he sees her prius he has a quick sigh to himself. So then to piss off his sister he lets the screaming chickens of merica come out of the exhaust pipe. As he walks into the burger king his sister immediately spots him out.
While they are eating they start to talk, Tom’s sister always worries about Tom and his health. So she says, “your gonna kill yourself if you stay like this”.
“Yeah so, no one will miss me” Tom says.
“See that is why you keep eating and don’t do anything is because you have nothing else to attach onto”.