It hadn’t even been a full day and I witnessed my best friend’s car accident. The odd thing was I knew they would have wanted to go that way. I mean, he took the cop car with him... the only thing I had left to do was take the things I left in his car back.
I didn’t cry. It’s not that I didn’t like the guy, it’s just that this was bound to happen. He was always so distracted, and with his adrenaline junky mentality it’s kind of hard to keep a level head. If anything his plan was a service to society. He was always so happy talking about it. I could never figure out why though. He was hot. He was really freaking hot, and funny, and smart. He had the whole world in front of him. I think being bent on sticking it to the man was the last nail in the coffin; no pun intended. I only have a few complaints though.
He didn’t tell me today was the day. He said he was going to drop me off at his house so I could live there for a few years, and get away from my past. I mean the least he could have done was left me at his house, or some sort of warning. That’s not his style though, he wanted to go out with a bang, and to do that in his mind at least he needed at least one witness. At least he had the decency to let me out of the car first.
I was a bit surprised that I actually ran into him further down the road. It was late, and almost raining. I couldn’t see him through all the smoke and huddled metal. I knew that this time he at least succeeded. At 27 too no less. Funny, he always fancied himself a celebrity too. If anything I will remember him, lest he not be entered into the 27 club. If I feel up to it one day I might even carve our last conversation into my bedroom wall. Of course I’d need to get home first to do something like that.
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Johnny had driven up this drive way hundreds of times before. I was excited to see him drive up once more, my bags beside me. All day I’d been thinking about how my new life was going to look. As his beaten up Honda entered port I could almost smell my new life in front of me.  It smelled pretty bad but at least it was new. Johnny took care in quickly placing the two duffle bags and a suitcase which contained everything I owned in the trunk. Hopping in the passenger side we soon took off before the residence of my former home awoke to find me missing.
This was the first time I’d ever run away. I’d thought of it a million times before, but I never had the help I needed until Johnny came along. We’d talked for a long time about this. He has an extra room and needs help around the house. It’s lonely by himself. This concerned me, and was also my only thought as I lulled off looking at his perfect hair. Gold and glistening in the sun, sweat beads dripping down his pale forehead. He was focused, I could tell because of the way his ice blue eyes pierced down the road. He almost never gets this focused. There might be something on his mind, or it could just be especially hot today. Johnny turned to me after a while.
“Hey, uh, I got something for you.” he fumbled around a bit. “But don’t open it until you get out of the car.” I took the envelope, which had my name crisply written on it. Clearly it had taken some time to line out. “What’s in it?” “You’ll see.” I shook the passage a bit and tried to look through with the sunlight. All I could see was something dense and dark printed on a sheet of paper.
“I know this might surprise you, but I’ve always liked you.” he said, carefully choosing his words. I’d never seen Johnny act like this before. It fell quiet for some time. After about 30 minutes he stopped the car. My hands covered in sweat clung to this strange gift he gave me. My eyes had been watching the sky fill with clouds slowly. He slowly started to talk, being very unlike himself. “You know how I keep saying I’ll live each day like it’s my last?” I shook my head yes. He grabbed me quickly as to take me by surprise, and kissed me passionately, “I love you Anna. You need to get out now.” I knew I could trust him, so I got out of the car. Surely he’ll take me with him after aaaaaaand he’s gone….
He might come back? He probably won’t. I ripped open the envelope in my hands, inside were two things. A map he had drawn out telling me where I now lived, a key, and a note saying not to wait up. This is when I decided to start walking down the stretch of highway.
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I finally arrived after several hours of walking. Opening the door my legs almost gave out beneath me. I looked around. The house was in a decent shape. Good to know he’d at least cleaned a bit before he decided to kamikaze himself into a police officer. Opening each room of the house it was easy to tell what it was to be used for. Drum set in one room, kitchen in the other, no TV though, and the computer was opened to our first conversation “May I talk to you about our lord and savior computer man?” “Why I’d be delighted good sir!”
Finally I came across my room. I could tell it was my room because he’d painted one of the walls my favorite color, and Anna was written in big black calligraphy letters. My bed was made, and large wad of cash was on it. A note he’d left in the top shelf of the closet read “I’m sorry” in very shaky letters. I decided to tack a few of his things on my walls over time.
After a week or so the electricity cut off. So sometimes it’s too hot, and others it’s freezing. The only thing I really preoccupy myself with is collecting him from everywhere he was. Scrapping bits and pieces of his memory from behind the fridge and corners of the pantry. It never seems to matter how hard I try I just can’t get Johnny back. I smell him everywhere, I use his body wash, I clean his laundry, but I still can’t feel him. I even took up playing the drums.
Sometimes I wonder why he did it. Sometimes I wonder if it matters why he did it. Other times I wish he hadn’t, and that we just could have lived here. Every day I wake up to the map I posted above my bed, and I think, is that car still out there? Probably not.  I hear my stomach growl remembering that I hadn’t eaten since I arrived a month about to this day. It has been a while since I left this bed. Not that I care or anything…