2/3/15 Dear Emily,
You weren't at school today.
At first I was worried considering you have an almost perfect attendance record
But everybody gets sick right.
Anyway today wasn't that eventful anyways.
WAIT I finally spoke to that cute boy who sits in front of me in math.
I thought you would be proud.
Anyways I'm going to leave this by the tree like I always do respond A.S.A.P.
Hope you feel better.

I was so worried the day you didn't come in. You come into school every day. I should have known you weren't sick, but yet I played it off and continued on with my day...how could I do that you were my best friend in the world, how did I not know something was wrong. You didn't come in the next day either and I didn't know what to think at this point so I called your mom. She said you were in the hospital and couldn't have any visitors, not even me. Of course I went anyways because you were my best friend duhh. When I got there your mom looked surprised to see me almost like she was seeing a ghost. I asked her what you were sick with and she told me you were sick in the mind. I was once again confused and left in the dark "If it was with your mind why were you in the hospital?" "What was wrong with your head?" When I asked your mom about it she broke into tears. She said you didn't want to be on this earth anymore and that you had tried to leave us. I didn't know what she meant; you had always said you loved your life I couldn't understand why you would want to leave. I was trying to process the new information when s*** hit the fan. All of a sudden doctors were running towards your room and keeping your mother from entering through the door. She looked so broken Emily, her face was white, and her lips had no color. She looked as if she'd been crying for months, years even. Doctors were still swarming your room when they made us go to the visitor center. Your mom put up quite the fight Em. You'd have been amazed at the strength this little 5'3 women was showing. The tears never stopped falling on her face from the time the doctors told us to leave until the time they came back again. As soon as the nurse stepped into the room I knew something was wrong. Her eyes held this look, one I hope to never see again but I'll never forget. She shook her head, her eyes falling to the floor as she uttered the words that changed my life forever. "I'm sorry" was all she said, but that's all she needed to say. We both knew what it meant. It meant you were gone Emily. It meant you had left us and not like the time you left me for a week when you went to summer camp. This time you were really gone, next week you wouldn't be back with a smile on your face and a macaroni necklace in your hands. No you weren't coming back...ever. My mind faded away as she said those words. I remember your mother clinging to me, crying in my ear. I remember my knees giving out as I sunk to the floor. Not a single tear fell on my face though. I couldn't move let alone cry. I broke away from your mother’s grasp and ran. I ran out the door, down the street, past the parks, and rows of houses just to put distance between us. I ran away from the hospital, from the nurses, from your crying mother I couldn't bear to console, and from you. I ran from your body once full of life now empty and hollow lying on a white stretcher, a thin sheet draped across your face to hide your unforgiving lifeless eyes from the onlookers trying to see deaths latest victim. I ran to forget. I ran until my feet bled and I stopped at a nearby coffee shop. My mother always said she was drinking away her pain. Of course I wasn't old enough to buy what she was drinking so I drank you away with caffeine. Enough caffeine to keep me so wired up I could barely remember the street name let alone you. My phone was ringing off the hook but I didn't answer it. I couldn't answer it. When I answered it I would be pulled back into reality, a reality I so desperately longed to escape. So I turned off my phone and started my walk home. My mother was relieved to see me when I walked through the door. A smile broke across her face when she saw mine, but it faded just as quickly as it came. I could see the lines from where the tears had fallen and the marks from where her hands had gripped the sink so hard she broke skin. She didn't say anything just grabbed me and pulled me into her chest. No one wanted to speak, not yet. My father came and joined us inside the parlor room. He too had been crying. When my sister entered the room she seemed puzzled by the sadness in our eyes but joined our hug, just so she was part of it. I grabbed her and I clung to her for dear life, she was so innocent, so pure, and the world hadn't hurt her yet like it had hurt me. I clung to my baby sister to shield her from the reality that was slowly sinking into my skin-reaching deep into my bones to grip my heart and squeeze it until it no longer functioned right. We stayed there for a little while, my small little family. We stayed there and as we held onto each other all our problems were forgotten as we remembered we were all safe, and together, and most importantly... we were alive.... even though you weren't