Manhattan gets this sense of gloom in the winter, sure there’s always a steady stream of people to compliment the light stream of drifting snow but the city itself  seems lonesome. People come here to live out their dreams, to become a star only to fail miserably when realizing that many others share that particular dream.  Manhattan grows fond of all the shining souls that are expecting such great things from it only to be let down a short time later. Watching very few succeed and many fail can create a dark cloud over any town, especially this one.

When I arrived in New York, the summer after I graduated I wanted to be an actress, I wanted to be on broadway. I spent every penny I saved to chase this wild dream of mine, to only be let let down by the cold hard fact that I wasn't enough for this city. My passion and drive wasn't enough turns out that you need to be so exceedingly great at everything performance wise to even get a second glance from anyone important.

Searching everywhere in this bloody town I looked for somewhere to belong. It didn't take long to notice that most people fail and don't stick around after doing so. But somewhere inside me I feel a connection to this place. I'm not sure if that due to the fact I can feel what this city is feeling, the sense of hope but also a great loss or that as silly and childish as that it may sound; I can’t let go of the possibility that one day I could be looked at twice in this gloomy town.

In my time here I've learned a few things, I watched the people flood in and out. A blur of people you can get lost in if you blink for more than a second. Even though I couldn't fulfill my lifelong dreams I wanted to be around people who could live them for me. I involved myself in as much as humanly possible, finally settling with a job as a makeup artist for the musical Wicked. I feel more and more at home in this place the closer I get to the stage. So backstage is as close as i'm going to get for now. But nothing's permanent in this place, people come and go as do dreams but mine will stand steady through the rushing of the city streets.