-Alexis-

“I remember it clear as day. We couldn’t handle it anymore. How could someone be so cruel to another? We are all human beings. We are all living and we all have feelings. Why did she pick us? We walked into the bathroom, each holding a blade as we sat by the tub, and we began cutting each other’s wrists. That’s when we found our mom’s pills. We split the 15 that were left, him with eight, me with seven, and we swallowed them. Maybe it was having that one less pill that saved my life.”
* * * *
My brother Charlie and I are on winter break and we’re having our annual New Years party later. It’s probably the biggest party in the state of Oklahoma. We’ve been planning it for about a month and I’m super excited! Our best friends, Bailey and James, have helped us decorate all weekend. Now they’re helping my parents cook the food for the party. The amazing thing about our friends is that they’ve lived next door to us since we were in kindergarten. We’ve been friends since the day we met. Just as I was coming out of my thoughts, I realized Bailey had been trying to get my attention:
“ALEXIS! Hello, earth to Alexis…” Bailey trailed off.
I jumped because her loud tone startled me. “Yeah, what’s up?” I asked.
“We were trying to find outfits remember?” She asked as if she thought I forgot.
“Yeah I know, I just got lost in my thoughts… Did you find anything?”
“Oh yeah! This is adorable! Try it on!” She said in excitement as she threw a blue sweater dress, leggings, and my winter boots at me.

After trying the outfit on, I chose to wear it. Guests had been arriving for a few hours now and we’ve spent the whole time getting ready. Everyone has signed the traditional resolution board. Every year we have our friends and family write their new years resolution on the poster to see if they achieve their goal at the end of the year.
-Ding-dong, ding-dong-
When I opened the door, I was happy to see that my cousin Chrissie had finally arrived.
“Hey!” I said to her as I invited her in.
“Hey girl!” She said with a big smile on her face, “How are you?”
“I’m good. I hope your doing okay,” I said as I remembered what happened on this day years ago.
“I’m fine, it’s been ten years, it’s finally getting easier to cope with the pain,” She said as I pulled her into a hug.
Chrissie has always been so strong. No matter how hard things get for her, she still manages to smile every day, and that’s amazing for someone who’s been through so much.
-Chrissie-
It’s New Years Eve, and this day is very difficult for me. Ten years ago today, I lost two people who were very special to me: my parents. They were going to buy us candy because we’d been good kids that day. They had to take us with them because we were too young to stay home alone. We sat in the car looking out the window, watching each and every car pass by. Alexis and Charlie were arguing about the type of candy they were going to get and it distracted my dad while he was driving. He was trying to get them to calm down and be quiet. He took his eyes off of the road for just a second, and our vehicle crashed right into the semi-truck in front of us. I heard my mother scream as the shards of glass flew through the car into the back seat, piercing our skin, making us bleed. My view of the shattered windshield and head cushions of the front seat fade away and eventually went black, I had passed out. The last thing I remembered was my mom’s voice saying, “I love you guys.” When we woke up, my aunt and uncle were sitting in the hospital room with us. They explained to me what happened that night. My parents died in that crash. My cousins and I were the only three to survive, and we never got our candy. My aunt and uncle were given custody of me, and that was the last time we ever spoke of the accident. To this day, I still have not forgiven my cousins. They killed my parents.
-Alexis-
I noticed Chrissie had been in deep thought for a while and she seemed very upset, but I already knew what was on her mind so I left her alone. When the ball drops, we’ll all cheers to the New Year and new beginnings with our glasses of either wine or water. Everyone in the house is watching the clock. There’s only two minutes until it will finally be a New Year. I’m really hoping the New Year is better than the past few years. I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts, again, when everyone began chanting:
“10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
Now everyone is discussing sleeping arrangements and wishing everyone a Happy New Year.
-BEEP, BEEP, BEEP-
-Throws alarm clock-
I wake up to the delightful smell of my mother’s amazing breakfast: French toast, eggs, and bacon. When Charlie, James, Bailey and I walked into the dining room, I noticed that Chrissie and my mom were making breakfast.
“Breakfast is ready kids!” My mom yelled as if she didn’t see us in the dining room.
After eating breakfast, Chrissie went to work, and the rest of us played in the game room.
-Chrissie-
It makes me furious that my cousins have it so easy. They have their parents, their best friends, their little sister Emily; they even got a car for their 15th birthday. They don’t have to get a job to put gas in their car or pay their phone bill. Their parents spoil them. They’ve never had to live in the real world. They’ve never had it hard. They’re the reason my parents are dead, and now I’m going to get revenge.
I created a fake profile on Facebook named Angel Rose. Last night during our sleepover, I caught Bailey and Alexis kissing each other’s cheeks. I thought that it’d be great for blackmail so I took a picture. I know they are best friends and that they were just doing what best friends do, but I’m going to make it seem like they are more than friends to get under their skin.
-Post uploaded-
Now to wait for her to see it…
-Alexis-
We were browsing through Facebook when some girl named Angel Rose tagged me in a post. Bailey clicked on the post, and I immediately started crying.
“Who would do something like that?” James said as he pulled me into his arms and ran his fingers through my long brown hair.
“I don’t know, but its bullshit. We’re just friends, we’re not dating!” Bailey yelled, “Why would someone even think we were lesbians?”
Charlie commented on the photo: “They’re just friends, quit telling lies.” And shortly after Angel replied “Oh shut up faggot. Everyone knows you like James too.”
“Who is this chick?” Charlie questioned with fury.
“Nobody knows, but when I find out she’s going to regret saying this bullshit about you guys.” Bailey replied.
After a while, we watched Netflix and waited for Chrissie to get home. When she came in, we told her everything that happened and she told us not to worry unless the girl continues to post stuff about us.
-Chrissie-
Yes! I Succeeded! I got to them. Not as much as I wanted, but I made some progress. Sooner or later, they’ll crack and they’ll pay for what they did to my parents.
-Alexis-
I’ve had a terrible day. Why would this Angel chick assume that my brother and I are gay? Is it not obvious that I like James? Is it not obvious that Charlie likes Bailey? Maybe I only see it because my brother and I are so close; we tell each other everything.
Angel was MIA until school started two weeks after her first post on Facebook. When school started, she somehow found more ways to make us feel like complete crap about ourselves. We began ignoring our friends and family and skipping school; which only made things worse. Apparently skipping school meant that I was pregnant and my brother was the father. I don’t think so. Who says something like that? How do people have that much time on their hands to bully someone to the point that they feel suicide is their only resort?
Even though the things she has been saying about us are not true, it still hurts. The posts in the comments are much worse than the posts themselves.
“You’re such a slut. Desperate enough to take it from your own brother!”
“Charlie couldn’t keep it in his pants and he knocked up his own sister!”
This is the end… We can’t take much more of this… The depression. The crying. The sickness. Everything. It’s just too much to handle… We ran to the bathroom together debating on whether we should take our lives or not; and right then, we decided it was the time…
We leaned over the tub and began cutting our wrists… Letting the blood flow out made everything feel okay again. Charlie found mom’s pain pills in the medicine cabinet. There was only 15 left, but we split them. He took eight and I took seven. Within minutes, I heard Charlie say “I love you sis, I’ll see you soon enough…” and then I blacked out.
-Chrissie-
-Ring ring- Caller ID: Aunt Charlotte (Aunt Char)-
When I answered the phone, I noticed that Aunt Charlotte was crying.
“Aunt Charlotte, are you okay?” I asked.
“No honey. Alexis and Charlie are in the hospital. They tried to kill themselves. You should get here as soon as possible!” She replied faintly while holding back more tears.
I then hung up the phone, grabbed my keys, and ran to my car… All I could think is that is was my entire fault… I never meant for it to go that far…

When I got to the hospital I saw Bailey, James, Emily, Aunt Char and Uncle Isaac in the waiting room. I ran to give Aunt Char and Emily a hug. Then the doctor called the family back into the hallway.
“Mrs. James, we tried everything we could but…” The doctor stated with sorrow, “I’m afraid your son did not make it…”
Then Aunt Char just lost every last bit of strength she had that was holding her together, “NO! MY POOR BABY! NO! HE CAN’T BE GONE! HE’S STRONG! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIM? WHO THE HELL DID THIS TO MY SON?” She cried out in agony…
“Doc, what about Alexis?” I asked very concerned as I held back tears.
“Unfortunately, she appears to be in a severe coma. She has only a 45% chance of recovery at this moment.” The doctor explained.
“How long could she stay in this coma?” Uncle Isaac asked.
“Weeks, months, maybe even years… It all depends on her, she’s in control of this whole thing.” He stated.

It’s been a week and Alexis is still in a coma. James hasn’t left her side since the night she was admitted to the hospital; he hasn’t even gone to school. He’s in love with her and he may never get the chance to tell her. I feel really bad because of what I’ve done. She has no idea that her best friend is in love with her or that her brother is dead… Today is his funeral and she can’t even be there…
I’m guilty and I refuse to live without consequences of what I’ve done. Which is why I’m going to confess. I know the consequence and I deserve it. I don’t deserve to be free. My cousin is dead. My other cousin is in a coma. And it’s my fault. My parents would be so ashamed of me…
During the funeral, everyone was given a chance to speak if they wished to. When it was my turn, I couldn’t find the right words, so I just began talking.
“Okay… Today has been a very hard day for everyone… And what I’m about to say is probably not going to make anything better, but it’s for the best. I know the consequences that I will be facing and I deserve every last bit of it. I’m tired of feeling guilty… I’ve been mad at my cousins for 10 years because of something they didn’t really do. I didn’t realize how much I really needed to forgive them for it until it was too late. I want everyone to know that I’m sorry for your loss and that it is my fault… I was in control of the Angel Rose Facebook account. I wanted to get back at them for the accident that happened 10 years ago. I honestly never meant for it to get this far… I’m really sorry Aunt Char, Uncle Isaac, Emily, Bailey and James… Charlie and Alexis… Everyone… I’m truly sorry for what I’ve done…” I choked out.

And about 20 minutes later I was being put into cuffs and taken away...

-James-
“How could their own cousin do this to them?” Bailey questioned.
“I don’t freaking know but Alexis is in a coma and Charlie’s dead because of her! I really hope she serves time for this!” I yelled out with fury.

After the funeral, I immediately went back to the hospital to be with Alexis. I want to be the first person she sees when she wakes up. Even if she doesn’t wake up until years later, I will be the first person she sees when she opens her eyes.

-Three Weeks Later-
It’s been about three weeks since the accident. Alexis still has not come out of her coma, but the doctors say she has a 75% of recovery now, which means she is getting better. I finally went back to school, but I visit her everyday with Bailey and her parents. Chrissie is serving up to seven years in prison. Things have been really hard without Charlie and Alexis around… Bailey is in love with Charlie so his death has been very rough for her. But the worst part is coming to this hospital every single day to see Alexis and not being able to hear her voice.
When I came to see Alexis today, I decided to sing a song that I had been writing for her when this whole thing happened:
“You’re gonna be alright, you’re gonna make it through this without a fight...”
Then suddenly I heard faint breathing. When I looked up, Alexis was looking back at me…
-Alexis-
I woke up in a hospital bed. I had a terrible headache; it felt as if someone had been repeatedly bashing my head into a sidewalk or something. My throat was very dry. And as I was looking around, I noticed that James was staring at me with a tremendous amount of hope in his eyes.
“Hey… Could you get me some water?” I asked faintly.
“OH MY GOSH! ALEXIS! YOU’RE AWAKE! FINALLY! I’VE BEEN SO WORRIED! DON’T EVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN!” James yelled as if I’d been asleep forever.
“What are you talking about? It’s only been a day James. Chill out.” I said, confused.
“…I’m going to go get the doctor and your parents…” He said quietly.
“Get Charlie too!” I attempted to yell out to him, but it just came out as a loud whisper.

When he returned, he didn’t have Charlie with him.
“Where’s Charlie? I need to see him! Where’s my brother?” I asked with a worried tone.
“Ma’am, you need to take it easy. From what I understand, when you woke up you said you’d only been here for a day. Is that correct?” The doctor asked with concern.
“Yes. That’s what I said.” I stated.
“Well… Unfortunately, that’s not true. You’ve been in a coma for almost a month now.” He explained.
“What?” I asked, shocked.
He then turned to my mother and asked, “Mrs. James, do you want to tell Alexis about Charlie or would you like me to?”
“What about Charlie?” I asked, “Is he okay?”
“Honey, we need to talk about something…” My mom said, “There’s no easy way to say this but… Charlie didn’t make it…”
“NO! YOU’RE LYING!” I yelled.
“Honey… you know I’d never lie to you…” she said as she began crying.
“No mom… He can’t be…” I cried out.
  “I’m sorry honey,” she said.
James squeezed my hand in reassurance and the doctor began asking me many questions about how I was feeling. He let me have some food and water and said that they’d be keeping me overnight for observation. Then my mother explained to me that Chrissie was in prison because it was her posting on the Angel account.

After eating, I felt a little tired and I insisted that James go home to get some rest but he refuses to leave my side. What is up with him? He’s been acting really weird all day. Maybe it’s just me, who knows. Suddenly, I felt myself drifting off into sleep…

When I woke up the next morning, James was asleep in the chair next to my hospital bed. He looked absolutely adorable when he was sleeping...
-Knock knock-
“Good morning Alexis, I’m Jane, I’ll be your nurse for the day. How are you feeling?” Jane asked.
“I’m feeling fine, a little hungry. Can I eat breakfast?” I questioned.
“Yes. Just after I check your vitals.” She said.

She checked my pulse, my blood pressure, and my temperature. Then she gave me the phone and the breakfast menu so I could eat. After I ordered my food, James woke up and immediately looked towards me. He looked happy when he saw me. Why has he been acting…different? I was brought out of my thoughts when my food arrived.
I felt better today, especially after eating. The doctor told me that I could go home this evening since my vitals are stable and I’m feeling great. He still wants my parents to keep a close eye on me because of why I was in the hospital, which I understand completely.
When I got to go home, James and Bailey decided to stay over and my mom went to get my prescribed medicine.
“So. How are you feeling?” James asked.
“I’m feeling fine. I just miss him, you know?” I asked.
“Yeah, we are all really depressed. We thought we were going to lose both of you. The past month has been rough. We’re just glad you’re okay…” Bailey said as she pulled me into a hug.
“Yeah. Like she said, I’m super glad you’re okay. There are some things that I never got to tell you and I feel that I should tell you now. Better late than never right?” James said.
“Okay. Shoot.” I said.
“Okay…I’m in love with you Alexis. I’ve been dying to tell you. And that’s why I’ve been acting weird lately. I didn’t want to lose you too. Losing Charlie was enough for one month…” He said.
“Oh my…” Bailey whispered, “I did not see that coming…”
“James… I’m in love with you too. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.” I said.

He then pulled me into a really big bear hug and went on about how happy he was that I feel the same way.
I feel happy. Even though my brother has passed and my cousin is in prison, I know they’d be happy that I survived. I have my family and friends by my side to help me through this hard time… And I will speak out about my experience to help those who have been bullied online or not. I want to help those who go through similar experiences. I want to tell them that it does get better. The pain doesn’t always last forever.

* * * *
“And a year later, I am speaking out about it. It does get better. If you are being bullied, please seek help. I promise you, if you seek help, it will stop.  Don’t think that suicide is your only option. People will care if you die… Bullying is illegal. And we, as a group, must make that known. It’s not okay to hurt someone in any way. I hope that my story helps those today who are feeling suicidal. From my own experience, I know that the pain doesn’t last forever. I am a survivor, and you can be too!”

The End.