Maple shades of neutral hues spin in colour; As petals of arid leaves dapple onto the shady, damp ground of earthworms and dew. I squeeze farther into the Jade cave, my fingertips tracing the outline of crevices and cavities. I could do it, I could run away, and never face them again. My stomach’s empty, pit-like feeling drowns out the anger.  It’s cold, and tall towers of goosebumps grace along my bronze arms and legs, but I let myself suffer, I want to suffer. The word Pathetic screams in my mind over and over, each time more menacing. Why do I care so much about what other people think of me? I sigh to the crisp morning air, a cloud of frosty fog pours from my mouth. My hands reach to my receding blonde hair as another huge clump of murky yellow pulls from my head. I look at my hands in agony, as I am aware of cold creeping into a bald spot on my head. Panic surges through me...My hair, My hair, My hair! It’s gone, It’s GONE, I’ll be bald!!! Tears of frustration pour down my cheeks, why me? why me? I HATE HER. My arms flail around, and my breathing rapidly increases. After a few minutes I breath out one more time shakily, as the cold has already paralyzed one of my feet. Calmness and despair once more remain in my stomach, there’s nothing I can do. 

My right foot breaks into Pins and needles, though I barely feel my leg. desperate for warmth I snuggle into the dirt, balls of dirt collect on my arms, like sugar when it balls up.  The frost filled ground only pierces my skin with frozen blankets of leaves like a dagger on my back. Tears flow more and more.

I’ve listened to Kelly Clarkson’s What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” enough times to know this is the least courageous way to be strong. I really am the most pathetic excuse for a human.

Footsteps explode, and crunch against the frosty amber leaves. The only face I can imagine is the olive eyed, Crystal, with her blood-red Amber curls. She’s coming for one last laugh, to tell me how ugly I am, how much better it would be to everyone if I just drop dead. More hair tumbles out, I sob in anguish. WHY? Why would anyone do that to a human being, just to see them suffer. Just to be able to laugh.  I remember the feeling of shock and doom as I realized what had been put in my hair gel. HAIR REMOVER.  I had cried, and everyone laughed. Even my so called friends. The teachers didn’t even bother. That’s why I’m hiding here, behind the campus soccer field, in a grove that only me and Riley had discovered as kids, were my first kiss was. In the Jade cave. The footsteps get louder and louder as a voice begins to call my name.

“ Avery! Avery?AVERY!”  Riley’s dark curls, upturned face, and silver eyes spin from the entrance of the cave. My breath shallows as I tried to stop the hiccups of tears. He walks in a full circle twice, his school boots echo in booms through out the cave. He sights the curtain and starts running towards me. Please, just leave me alone. DON’T FIND ME. He winds around the angled wall and begins to climb up the granite steps.

I turn my back from the entrance. Still holding against hope he’ll turn around and leave me be.

“ Avery?” His soft voice wafts towards my hiding spot. More tears flow. I know he’s smiling, laughing at me, just like everyone else.

“GO AWAY! I don’t need you’re support now, but I’m sure I could’ve used it back there.”

“Aver-”

“I’ll manage this one my own, thanks” 

His face hardens and flashes with anger. I don’t care what he says, as long as he doesn’t see my face.
“ You’re sure doing a good job of that.”

I blew out more frosty air. Maybe if I run away now he’ll be sorry he yelled at me, and it’ll  be his, and everyone else’s loss. I wiped the self-centered thought from my head. I take his comment into consideration and finally brake. I spin around to face the front broken down wall that gave way to the autumn forest on top of the Glade’s cliff. Light flooded my eyes. I heard his gasp.

“ W-w-what happened to you...Avery?”

“ Crystal, happened”

Seeing my bare arms he hands me a flannel picnic blanket from the event. I rub my arms feverishly, crying half due to the cold.

“ Avery? Do you wanna talk about it?”

His hand rubs my back supportively,

“Hey?”

Silence as answer. I bight my lip. I don’t wan’t to relive the moment by going over it in detail. My broken and divided breaths gave way to more sobs.

“I-I-I...can’t afford a nice dress so I got one from the thrift store...a-a-a-and” I sniffed. “It was her dress.”

I don’t have to tell him who, he knows Crystal individually stands out to an extent of someone who wouldn’t care as much to destroy a human life.

“She singled me out and poured grape juice ‘a-a-a-accidentally’ and,” I begin crying once more out of humiliation. “ I d-d-decided to wash m-m-my hair..” I collapse in a heap of sobs. No, I’m not going to do this.

I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to...

“She put hair remover in my hair gel”

My mind turns blank and only the beating heat of blood pounding in heartbeats, echoing in my ears remains. I watch events play out in slow-mo. Floating. I run, nothing else to do but run.

 
“AVERY!!!”