Ever since I was little my Grandmother has always been there for me. My mom and dad work a lot so it is good to have someone there for me when my parents can’t be. My grandmother is pretty young for her age, shes only 64 which means she’ll be around for a long time and I couldn't be more thankful for that. My name is Emily and I am 20 years old. My Grandmother has been my mother figure, as much as I love my mom, she just isn't there for me. Whenever I need advice or help with something my grandmother always knows how to make things better, and says the right thing. Today she told me she wants to take me out to shop, and to a nice dinner. I cant wait to spend time with her.

 As I was getting ready to go out to dinner, my grandmother arrived at my house. “I want you to enjoy today” my grandmother said very nervously "why wouldn’t I?" I say. She just shrugged her shoulders and walked away. This kind of worried me but I brushed it off and thought nothing of it. Finally I was ready to go and met my grandmother in the car. The car ride was very awkward and silent. I knew something wasn't right but I was too afraid to ask.

 When we arrived at the outlets where we were going to shop, my grandmother parked quickly and jumped out of the car and started darting towards a store. I'm almost positive I saw her wipe tears off of her face. It's hard to see my grandmother upset but I knew if she wanted to talk about it she would, so I just left the situation alone. I finally got to the store she darted off to,and there she was standing in front of a silk champagne colored dress, with diamonds embedded on the front of it that were the size of my fingernail. I saw her gazing at it and walked over to her. "That would look great on you!" I say. "It would wouldn't it?" She says back to me with a quiver in her voice. That was a typical response I would expect but something was different about her voice. She purchased the beautiful dress and I was happy to see her so excited about this new dress.My only thought was where was she going to wear this new dress.

        We finally decided to leave the outlets and make our way to our favorite restaurant, the Olive Garden. Both of us ordered our favorite thing and dinner was very quiet. We sat there in silence just eating our food. Something was very wrong, I was just too afraid to say anything. I didnt want to bring it up then see her cry in front of me. I hate seeing her cry, its the worst thing. There has only been one time when i've seen my grandmother cry and that was at my grandfathers funeral. She is the strongest women I know and to see her break down like that is scary. Finally I get the courage to say something and she cuts me off. “Emily you are such a good girl and have so much going for you, don't let anything get in your way.” “Ok gram I won't.” I say. Why did she just say that to me? Something is seriously bugging her and I need to know what it is.

        When dinner was done, we packed our leftovers up and made our way home. Once again the car ride was silent. I could hear nothing but the radio in the background slowly fading out. She pulls her old vintage car into the driveway of my parents house where I was staying for the night because I was too tired to drive back to my apartment. I got out of the car and she followed me into the house. I figured she just wanted to watch her TV show that is always on, but that wasn't the case. I prepared for bed and slipped into my rock hard bed and pulled my Down feather comforter over my body. I started dozing off pretty quickly until my grandmother barged into my room. She was crying very slightly and I’ve had enough of seeing her upset.

        She plopped her small fragile body on my bed and closed her eyes gently. “I’m dying Emily.” she said. My heart sank to the bottom of my body and blood rushed to my head. “No you’re not” I say meanly. “you’re so young, there is no way.” She brushes the hair away from my eyes and started to tell me what happened. When she went to the doctors a few weeks ago, they found a tumor in her brain that would eventually take over her body. I started crying and couldn't find enough strength in my body to stop. “I love you Emily, and I know you’ll be there every step of the way.” my grandmother said crying along with me. The doctor gave her about three weeks to live because it was a fast acting tumor. I closed my eyes and couldn't even come back to face reality. She continued to tell me little details and I couldn't help but just stare. Shock had taken over my body and I didn't know how to fix it.

        This women is like my mother. What am I going to do without her? Her advice, her funny stories, her bubbly personality. I’m going to lose my bestfriend. This is the thing I have been dreading. The next morning I woke up and just sat there in my bed staring at my ceiling. My grandmother walked into my room with a tray of pancakes, toast, and a glass of orange juice. “Goodmorning!” she said happily. I was kind of confused as to why she was in such a good mood, after what she had told me last night. I left it alone and let her be happy because she could go any day now. I tried to fake a smile and say good morning back to her in the happiest way possible. I think she realized I was trying very hard to sound pleased so she sat down on my bed and said “Even though I don’t have a lot of time left, I want the last few weeks to be as happy as possible”. This was going to be extremely hard because this is the worst thing that has happened in my life.

        Later on that day my grandmother told me she just wanted to stay in the house for the night because she felt tired. That was obviously the tumor taking a toll on her body. We stayed in for the night and I made some calls for work as she watched her favorite show on the television. I took a month off from work because of a family emergency and thankfully I can still get paid. Later that night my mom and dad both came home and they knew all about this right when my grandmother left the doctors. I couldn't be mad at them for not telling me, they just didn't want me to be upset. When my mom isnt working and is actually around, shes somewhat there for me when she can be and I love her for that. The rest of the night all of us just spent time together talking, laughing, and sharing funny stories. It was finally time for bed, I said my goodnights and made my way to bed. Lying there in my big queen bed, all I could think about is why is this happening. Then I hear my grandmother's voice in the back of my head saying that everything happens for a reason. She’s right and I will always live by those words.

        Two weeks has passed and I’ve been with my grandmother every day watching her slowly get worse. Doctors and nurses come into my house everyday to help her and evaluate her condition. She is getting worse and her doctor just told us she has about three days left. All she could do there was lie there in her bed and basically wait to die. That must be the most awful thing a person can go through. I walk into her room,and I see her hooked up to many machines. I wanted to cry right then and there at the sight of her but I choked it back. She looked so sad, her hands swollen, her face white as the snow, under her eyes were dark and looked drain. I knocked on her door and she looked over to me slowly and a big smile grew on her face, which made one appear on mine. “Hi gram! You look great” I say in the nicest way possible. She just gave a little chuckle and motioned for me to come to her. I walked over slowly, she told me to come down to her face so I could hear her soft voice whisper to me. “will you go to the store and get me some soup?” she said. I pull back away from her and just stare. “Sure” I say confusingly. Gram then began to tell me how proud she was of me and how much she loved me. I walked out of her room and began to bawl my eyes out. I grabbed my keys, darted out the door, and headed to the store to get her favorite soup.

        As I am halfway to the store something clicks in my head. She didn't want me to see her die. She sent me out of the house so I wouldn't witness such an awful thing. I slam on my breaks and make a U-turn almost causing an accident. I speed to my house where I see paramedics in my driveway. My mom and dad were standing in the doorway crying. I jumped out of my car not even sure if I put it in park. I dart after the ambulance as it pulls out of my driveway. My dad ran after me and grabbed me and held me back. In his arms I sank to the ground in tears. I thought I was paralyzed my body was numb and the blood in my face felt like it had drained out of my body. My grandmother was gone. This is a nightmare, I’m just wondering when i'm going to wake up. 

        After days of laying in my bed and barely eating, it was the day of her funeral. Just a few weeks ago I was shopping with her, laughing, telling jokes. Why did this have to happen. I climb out of bed, my body still very limp. I slip into a dark grey dress I have never worn before. My mom walked into my room not saying a word and helped me with my hair. In her fist was a silver chain with a diamond heart on it. She held it up and told me it was my grandmothers, obviously tears filled my eyes and some actually slipped out. “Your grandmother would have wanted you to have this.” my mom says. “Thank you mom, I love you”. The car ride to the funeral home felt like forever. Finally we arrive and it takes me a second to move but I open the car door and head for the room that holds the casket with my grandmother in it. My parents were in front of me and they walked in and I’m pretty sure my mom started crying instantly. I turned the sharp corner to see her. So lifeless, so colorless, so fragile. My heart sank to my stomach for the fifth time in three weeks. My first instinct was to grab the necklace around my neck because I could feel her with me.

        Saying my goodbyes was the worst thing I have ever had to do. She had a great life, and I know she died happy. My bestfriend is gone but she is in a better place now. I will never forget the woman who had such a large impact on my life. I know she will forever be with me, even though she isn't physically here. I know she will still continue to look after me and make sure I don't do anything stupid because that was always her job. I wish I could thank her one last time for alway sticking by my side and supporting me with any decision I made.