I woke up to the sound of his breathing. Slow and steady. We were lying in the same bed, but we couldn't have been further apart. I could almost smell the fragrance of her voice on his mouth. I was too tired to yell but too lonely to leave. The water filled my eyes as I watched his chest rise and fall, without a care in the world. I glanced towards the alarm clock. It was 3am again, and I was here...again. I was stuck between saving my marriage or moving on with my life.

           Later that morning, I woke up to the shower running. He had been exceptionally punctual and peppy lately. I went downstairs to start on breakfast. As I cooked, I cried. It seemed as if that was all I had been doing for months. He bounced down the stairs and into the kitchen, happily walking towards me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek. "Good morning love", he whispered. With alll the energy and strength I could muster, I smiled up at him.

            Almost immediately my mind wandered back to the night of our wedding. I saw me and my ebony skin, in my backless white gown walking down the sandy aisle to my best friend. Jason in is tailored black tux, dark curls flowing effortless in the wind. His eyes were a sea of grey that I wanted nothing more than to drown in. It didn't matter that he was white or that I was not. I loved him.

            The sound of the door slamming along with the smell of burnt eggs, brought me back to reality. It was 7am and he was leaving for work. His office buidling doesn't open until 9:30am. I knew where he was going and what he owuld be doing. I didn't have the time to be hurt anymore.

            The questions still existed. Would I stay or would I pack up my life as I knew it and leave? I weighed my options carefully. I was a succesful photographer, and I'd saved a sum of money. But the money didn't compare to the emotonal investments I'd made in my relationship. The truth of the matter was that my husband had fallen out of love with me. I swear I remember the moment I knew. He'd come home late from work that night. He'd swept me up into his arms and kissed me senselessly with so much passion. He told me he'd never been so in love before, but he didn't say it was with me. I could smell the deciet in his voice that night. I was no longer his reason to smile, and he was no longer loyal.

               As I cleaned up the mess I'd created, I remembered there was something I had been failing to do all these months. I had never once prayed about it. So I stopped right where I was and kneeled. I prayed long and hard for hours upon hours. I had a series of spiritual revelations and hard conversation with God. By the time I was done, I knew what I had to do.

             That night I waited for my husband to come home. Strangely, he was right on time. Before he could even greet me, I told him to sit at the dining table, and I sat beside him. I told him that our situation was not what God had planned for our marriage. "I know Shae, and I'm so sorry", he pleaded. "I broke it off. I've never been so disgusted with myself. I want you to know that we were never intimate. It was an emotional attachment, something you and I had been missing. But I promise you. I am here, and I am dedicated to fixing this. She made me realize that it was you I wanted and that God had created you just for me. While she was falling for me, I was falling back in love with you. I love you and I know God has forgiven me. I just hope you will too." For the first time in months, I knew his words were sincere. I guess it all comes down to starting over or choosing God's will for my life and that was staying with my husband. He was here, I was here, and God was here.

               It's funny how God works. I didn't even have to explain to Jason that I knew what was happening. All I had to do was cast my cares on the Lord, and he gave me the desires of my heart. We were going to be alright. To death do us part...........