A Soldier’s Past
In the winter months a Pennsylvania Mountain lies a soldier who returned home, walking to an ancient cabin near a cliff of the mountain. The soldier entered inside the old cabin and dropped his things and looked around the empty house. He Looked around and saw that no one was there. The soldier sunk into his old, crusty and withered red chair. ” He sat there for a while trying to get comfortable. As a child he typically got bullied by his peers. He asks his bullies “why do you hurt me so.” Every day as a kid he would go home and play video games. His parents call him worthless and often told him that he doesn’t have any talent. His Older brothers often tell him “Gaming is the only thing he is ever going to have”. But all that the solider wanted was to be a video game developer. He thought about his life, sitting there thinking about the horrible times he endured during these events of his life. The soldier went back into his memories in hope for satisfaction, but all he can remember is his friends backstabbing him. He looked a little further ahead and he ended up in high school. He remembered high school; he couldn’t make any friends because he was too strange and awkward with people. He was constantly in school fights by upperclassmen and underclassmen because he was an easy target. He remembered them being cruel and unfair to him. He Hoped thinking about the people that he loved would ease his pain but the people he loved only bring out more. He remembered when he met Pam. She was the one who was willing to listen to him. She would always play video games with him and hangs out with him. One day the soldiers brought up his deepest courage and ask Pam to marry him. To his surprise Pam said yes however when the wedding finally came she didn’t show up. He remembered his heart being ripped out of him when receive the note saying “I’m sorry”. He cried for hours screaming why in his apartment hoping someone will come to end his pain but no one came.  Hoping that there somewhere have to be a good memory he must have. But the only memory he can find is the military. He remembers the time he enlisted in the army and was humiliated by his family because he was “too skinny” or “not man in enough” or “doesn’t have the balls to do it”. He remembers what his mother said to him before he left “good riddance, I hope you die out there”. He remembers the time when he was training in the barracks, convincing himself that he can be a good soldier. He remembers before entering Afghanistan and remembering what his associate said to him “A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles”. He also remembers the amount of innocent civilians who died during the war. The screams of the dying echo in his head. He can’t stop thinking about seeing the Taliban shooting civilians one by one while his squad held up trying to avoid landmines or RPGS (Rocket Propelled grenade). He remembers the horror show he encountered when he saw the town.  He remembers the time he returned back to his home and seeing that his family wasn’t there to welcome him back home. He remembers the time he walked to his cabin on top of the snowy plateaus of Pennsylvania no friends to get drunk with or to have a party with. The soldier stood up from his withered chair and started walking to his broken down desk near his bedroom. He steadily opened the drawer and calmly pulled out a gun and pointed it to his head. Just when he was about to shoot himself, he remembered his associate told him “a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles”.  The solder keep repeating that statement multiple times to himself. The soldier looked at the gun and struggled to throw the gun away from him. He fell on all fours and yelled “God why did you make my life this way!” He clinched his fist in frustration. He screamed to the on top his lungs “why did you let me live”. His heart felt heavy with pain and regret. However, in his mind, he knew the answer to that question but refused to accept it. He whispered to himself “I give up there nothing left for me”. The solder began to crawl to his bedroom and climb up on his empty queen bed and cried himself to sleep.