Present Day

Sitting in this chair as it seems to swallow me whole, with no hope of me coming back out alive. As I descend further and further into a comatose state memories come flooding back to me. Death is all I know, so now it must consume me also.

Flashback

“Kenzlie! Kenzlie!” is all I hear as my mother calls my name from downstairs. I run down the stairs as fast as my little feet will take me. As I approach my mother, I look at her with my big innocent eyes, for I know I am in trouble. Even before she can scold me for my wrongdoing, I watch as she collapses to the ground. She hits the counter bringing a glass down with her, shattering it into a million peices. I stand there in shock telling myself she is just sleeping, but never to be awoken. I am six and shattered all at the same time.

“The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living” - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Present Day

Pain hits me like a ton of bricks, and more memories come flooding back as I sit and wait. For waiting is all I have.

Flashback

It’s been six years, and things haven’t gotten any easier for my pain. An ounce of hope is all I want, but hope is something that I’ll never receive. As I sit in my room, pain fills me up inside. The puzzle pieces of my life are falling apart piece by piece. I’ve been passed around from family to family, but I don’t fit in with any of them. I start to fill my empty pieces with other things. Maybe things would be different if I had any family left for me, but I’ve been deserted.
As I head to my next foster home, I hear a faint voice,  “Ma’am, Ma’am!” I turn abruptly around to see a guy coming toward me.
“You seem to have dropped this...,” he paused as if asking for my name.
“Kenzlie,” I said. “My name is Kenzlie.
“Well Kenzlie you dropped this, and it seems rather important,” says the boy. In his hand is the only possession of my mother I owned.
“That’s my mothers necklace,” I scream. “I don’t know if I can thank you enough!”
  “Well, my name is Caden, and here’s my number if you ever need me.”
I stand there probably looking like an idiot because I've never been hit on before. As he walks away, I see him turn around and wink at me. I stare down at my hands holding the crumpled, white, and very small piece of paper with his number written on it.

“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.’”- Robert H. Schuller

Present Day

After that one day, when I was 16, hope re-entered my broken life. Caden had become my best friend and my family. Out of all my foster homes, there was only one family I felt at home with. Memories and the goodbyes are still fresh in my mind.

Flashback

Here I am packing again for another foster home. I’ve moved house to house in hopes of finding the right family, but a perfect family seems nonexistent. I wish I could just have my mom back so things can go back to being normal. When I arrive at the house, I see two of the biggest smiles I have ever seen. This always happens; they smile to put on a show then turn out to be filled with hate. As I enter the house, they show me to my room, and that is where I stay all night. All I want is to have Caden by my side to help me through this like he always does.
Two weeks go by and things take a turn for the better. This family is not what I thought they’d be like at all. They are easily the best family I’ve stayed with. One night as my foster family is headed home, it is raining super hard, and I get a call from an unknown number. I pick up and am told to head to the hospital right now. I am frantic!  I didn’t know what to do. They never told me who is hurt, and a million different scenarios race through my mind. When I reach the hospital, I am rushed back to the ER to see my foster parents in the operating room. Just when things finally seem to be going right, everything falls apart.
One day later they pass away in the hospital.

“I'm falling apart, one part after another. Falling down on the world like snow. Half of me is already on the ground, watching from below.”  - Ashly Lorenzana

Present Day

Hope is all I needed. It came, and then it went. Sitting in this chair waiting for the news that I know is coming. The doctor walks in and tells me what no one wants to hear. I have a limited number of days left, and not one single day of my life did I make it count.

“We have not the time to take our time.”-Eugene Ionesco