My dad’s house was just as I’d expected. Cute, painted white with green shutters. It had a wide front porch dotted with rocking chairs and potted plants and a friendly yellow ceramic pineapple hung from the door that, that said WELCOME! All that was missing was a white picket fence.

        I pulled into the driveway, spotting Marci’s shiny blue Prius in the open garage with my dads beat up ’97 Mustang parked behind it. I parked behind Marci, hoping to annoy her by blocking her in. As soon as I cut my engine I could hear the ocean, so loud it had to be close, very close. I grabbed my bags and walked to the side of the house, sure enough, there it was. I scanned the horizon from left to right. Sandy beaches as far as I could see. The last of the families were picking up their blankets and leaving for the night, probably because the tide was coming up. I took a deep breath in, the air reeked of salt-water and fish. Gross, I thought to myself.

        I walked back to the front of the house, and stared at the door, do I knock? I asked myself. Just then, the front door flew open and out ran Marci with baby Isaac propped up on her hip.

        “Come here!” Marci half screamed, she ran to me, hugged me, and jumped around like an excited little girl. “I’ve been waiting for you all day!” She let go of me and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up the stairs and inside. “Stew!” She called up the stairs, “Auden is here!”

        Footsteps came overhead and then down the stairs. “Auden,” he said through a wide smile, “I’m so glad you could finally come to visit!” He walked towards me and extended his arms as if he expected me to want to hug him. Not wanting to be rude I hesitantly walked towards him and gave him a one-armed hug. Of course, that wasn’t good enough for him, he grabbed me with both arms and hugged me for what seemed like too long.

        “Um, Dad?” I asked, “Could you show me to my room? It was a long drive and I’d like to relax for a little while.”

        “Sure honey,” he replied as he turned his back to me and gestured for me to follow him up the stairs. As we walked down the hallway, we passed an open door, I looked inside to see a large nursery, the walls were painted baby blue with a brown and yellow polka-dot border.

My dad pushed open the next door down, then waved me in with one hand. “Sorry for the small quarters,” he said as I stepped into the room. “But you have the best view.”

He wasn’t kidding. Even though the room was tiny, with a twin bed, a dresser, and not much room for anything else, the only window looked out onto an undeveloped area of land, nothing but sea grass, sand, and water. “This is great I said.”

“I know,” he said as he walked to the door, “Now I’ll leave you to get settled.” He walked out of the room and closed the door.

“Wow.” I said aloud. “This is going to be a long summer.” I fell backwards onto my bed and closed my eyes, drifting into a deep sleep.

“Auden, honey, wake up!” Marci was violently shaking me. I opened my eyes and rubbed the sleep from the corners. “You were screaming, are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?”

I sat up and wiped the cold sweat from my forehead, “It was nothing, just a bad dream. I’m fine.” Just then, Isaac started to cry, her cue to leave.

As she walked out the door, I got out of bed and walked to the window. I sat on the ledge and looked out over the water. The same water from my dream. I closed my eyes and tried to remember what happened. I remembered feeling like I was drowning, clawing at the sand, trying to pull myself back to shore, but the water kept pulling me farther and farther until I finally couldn’t fight anymore, the water swallowed me, pulling me under.

“Auden!” My father called, pulling me out of my thoughts, “I’m going for a walk on the beach, would you like to join me?”

“No!” I called back, almost too fast. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but after my dream I couldn’t imagine going near that much water. “I mean, I’d love to, Dad, but I really need to shower and I’m still really tired.”

“Okay.” He said, a little less cheerful, “maybe next time.”  He walked out of the room and shut the door behind him.

I watched out the window till I saw him emerge from the back of the house and walk down the stairs. I don’t know why he wants to start being a dad, now that I’m 18 I’m free of him and mom. I can do anything I please. I wish I could tell him that I know what he did to mom. I wish I could tell him I knew he was the reason I wasn’t going to college. Before the divorce Mom and I had been a last priority. He was always drinking or playing poker at the local casino, blowing what little money I had in my college fund. He often came home smelling like other womens perfume, Mom had no suspicions about him cheating on her, but I knew better. I was 15, but not too young to spot a cheater when I saw one, and he definitely fit the description. I never said anything to mom because I knew she loved him.

My thoughts were interrupted by a single gun-shot, I looked up and out the window, there he was, lying in the sand next to the water, with a puddle of blood pooling around his chest. I jumped up from the windowsill and ran out the back door. “Dad!” I screamed as I ran to him, I could see his eyes open, but the light was gone. He was dead. I looked around, trying to spot the shooter, but he was long gone. I kneeled down next to him, the water lightly lapping at my legs. I kissed him on the cheek, reached for my phone and dialed 911.

“911 whats your emergency?” A cheerful sounding operator chided.

“My dad was just shot. He’s dead, I need someone to come to the beach, were about half a mile north of the public beach.”

“We’re dispatching officers and an ambulance to your location right now, do you need to stay on the line?”

“No,” I replied as I hung up. This was it, my father was dead.

The next few days went by in a blur, funeral services were held, and the cremation ceremony followed. My father’s final wishes had been to have his ashes spread off the coast by Marci, Baby Isaac and I. We walked to the pier after the ceremony was finished, and despite my gut feeling, we got on a boat and spread his ashes in the ocean as he asked. After his ashes were in the ocean, I went back to the house, packed my bags, got in my car and left California and vowed to never look back.