They say there is something calming about cemeteries, thought Ralph, though he could not quite put his finger on why this was the case. If you think about it, walking through a cemetery was nothing more than walking over dead bodies. When someone stands over a grave and offers a flower, or says a prayer, what they cannot see buried below, are the piercing hollow eyes of their beloved dead looking back up at them. Such an idea would invoke in most people a sense of fear, and yet, day by day, millions flock to cemeteries around the world to spend an afternoon in peace and serenity. Some even go as far as to picnic by the resting place of the person they came to see, hoping to share some sort of a final meal together; proof that perhaps human beings are the strangest of God’s creatures on Earth. As for Ralph, his emotions were anything but calm, ranging between anxiety and horror, as he made his way through this city of the dead.

Ralph was a stranger to cemeteries and not one to enjoy wallowing in sorrow. He believed death to simply be the final stage in life, as it was something that surrounded him quite often at his days on the job. However, something today had called him to pay a visit to an old friend. He resisted the inclination at first, but upon realizing that today was the one year anniversary of the death, he got in his car and drove to the burial grounds. Numerous times along the drive, Ralph was tempted to turn around and considered heading back home or to the nearby supermarket to run some errands, but each time a sense of guilt pecked at his conscience and he could not bring himself to abandon his friend once again. Then, before he knew it, he had arrived at the cemetery.

As Ralph made his way to the sight of his friend’s grave, sharp jabs of nostalgia attacked his heart. Memories of the two of them dominating as a defense pairing in house league hockey swelled in his heart and made him sick, as did thoughts of playing each other’s wingman at the first high school dance, and of the time his friend offered him a joint and he refused. This was the same sickness that struck him exactly a year ago and the same sickness he had hoped he could forget.
Ralph looked up, after having stopped for a moment to gather himself, and there staring right back at him, was the tombstone he had come searching for. He advanced slowly towards it and immediately, his mind returned to the image of his friend’s decomposing skull glaring at him. Ralph recoiled in fear and tears began to fill his eyes. He looked at the name he had seen so many times before; the one that had appeared on the back of the hockey jersey, on the class attendance list and on the police files. The first drops escaped his eyes and soaked the previously polished metal letters. Ralph grabbed his police badge fastened to his jacket and said just loud enough so his friend could hear, “Why? Why were you so stupid? Why didn’t you listen to me when I said they were ruining you? Why didn’t you move when my gun went off? You didn’t have to prove anything to anyone. Why?”
Suddenly, a wave of shame broke from Ralph’s heart and overcame him like a shadow that rendered his being a trembling wreck. From his sunken position Ralph cried out, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t protect you when I had the chance! I’m sorry I deserted you when you needed me most! I’m sorry, my dear friend, it was at my hands that you had to die! I’m sorry!”
It was too much for Ralph to handle. He dropped to the floor and crumpled into a sobbing ball.
* * *
Ralph wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he released himself from his agonized state, but when he opened his eyes he could see that early afternoon had turned to early evening and that he was the only person in sight. He picked up whatever belongings he had dropped and began to make his way back to his car, when he realized the change. For all he knew it could have simply been the way the setting sun illuminated the fall leaves as he walked out, but for Ralph, the cemetery appeared anew. The endearing silence echoed the background music of new life that the idea of being so close to death now brought him. For once Ralph agreed; there is something calming about cemeteries. Cemeteries offered for him, and, as he now understood, for the many others that stored guilt in their heart, a chance at something quite rare in the living world, forgiveness.