Today was the day I was about to meet my day for the very first time. I was scared out of my mind. I thought about driving out of the parking lot and heading home several times. As I sat outside of the restaurant Panera’s Bread, I felt my leg shacking more than ever before. Suddenly I thought, maybe this was a mistake.

I couldn’t seem to understand why my dad would wan to meet me now. He should’ve made this move 18 years ago. I’m an adult now. I have better things to do than wonder why “daddy” was never there to take me out for ice cream. My mom hated this man, for what he had done.

My mom nearly hung up in my face. When I confessed id be meeting him today. I didn’t even know what this man looked like. I was on the look out for any middle-aged black man. He had to resemble me, because my mom sure didn’t. Suddenly my window received a light tap. I looked over and saw a nice looking man smiling. “That was easy,” I thought to myself. This was my dad for sure.

I looked and opened the door, “Frank?” I asked, “Laurie?” “Yeah” he gently grabbed my hand and shook it. I felt like a five year old all over again. We walked up to the restaurant as he opened the door for me I didn’t know if I should feel angry or special. Angry because he should’ve did this years ago, or special because he was making a lot of effort to be apart of my life again. We sat for hours talking about everything under the sun. I felt bad, I judged him without knowing the entire story or truth. I received the answers to everything I wanted to know.

I filled him in on all my likes and dislikes. When I bruised my face years ago and why that scare was there and all. I told him what I was allergic to and everything. I even told him my crazy past relationships with guys I dated. Soon, five hours had passed and it was time to go. We gathered our things. I left that place feeling like a child.

Well it had been two months since speaking to my dad. That following week he had passed away from cancer. I didn’t even attend the funeral. I was so devastated I wonder if you could ever love someone you had only met one. I found myself crying a lot more.

I told myself that I would make sure my children knew and loved who their dad was. I felt like I hadn’t known my father because of my mom. I blame her for a lot of this I wanted to know him ore then just for five hours in Panera Bread. To me that just wasn’t enough, I wanted more and plus I didn’t even get to say goodbye. That is the worst part about it, everything had happened so fast. He didn’t even tell me that he had it but once I think about it he knew his time was going to come and he did not want that to effect me because we had just met. Now he is in a better place and I will always cherish that moment we had at Panera Bread forever.