I dread this house. Everything has to be like in the magazines. A home is where you should be comfortable, but my mom is a freak perfectionist. Usually I go into my room to hide. I don't want to hear her screaming and complaining about how nothing is how she wants it to be. Sometimes I crash, I burst into tears, I am so sick of all the heartbreak. Finally, the criticism and fear gets to me.

I raid the kitchen for powdered donuts, Doritos and Hot Pockets. I eat everything I possibly can. Then stampede to the bathroom and throw my blonde hair up into a ponytail. Lean over the toilet and vomit burns up my throat and pours into the toilet. Mascara drips down my face like paint. My eyes are red like I've been awake for two days straight without sleep. I lift up my shirt while looking in the mirror at my tan stomach. I furiously brush my teeth, if they aren't bright white she will just yell at me even more. My mom is always criticizing me, she makes me think about my appearance 24/7. I can't stop thinking about it. Am I too fat? Is my makeup perfect? Is my hair straight and is my shirt too tight? It is a constant feeling creeping over my shoulder, whispering in my ear like a snobby cheerleader judging every little detail, smacking and crackling her gum.

It's a Friday night and I'm in bed at 7:00pm. Then my iPhone vibrates, it's Jaxson, the quarterback of the football team. The text says, “Hey Macy, do you want to go to Broc's party with me?”

I reply, “Yeah I'm ready to get out of the house.” By the time I am dressed up and redo my hair and makeup it is 7:45 pm. Jaxson pulls into my drive in his shiny black Mitsubishi at 7:50 pm. I text my mom and tell her I am going out with friends and she says, “Ok whatever, be home by 11:30 pm.”

The doorbell rings and I happily open the door to see his cute face. His deep blue eyes sparkling, clean cut hair with his bangs spiked and his strong muscular body.

He says, “You look amazing, are you ready to go?” With a smile I say “Yes, Let's go.” When we get into his car my heart starts pounding and butterflies start going wild in my stomach. Then I think to myself, “He chose me, not some other girl.”

Once we arrive at Broc's house there's loud bass booming and lights flashing. Jaxson genitally grabs my hand while we walk to the front door. My heart melts and I know it will be a good night. Everyone is dancing, laughing and having a great time. Jaxson offers to get me a drink and comes back with two red solo cups and says, “Here you go babe.” I can't help but smile and give a little laugh. We dance and laugh all night, flirting up a storm. Sooner or later it is almost 11 o' clock and we need to head to my house. On the way he holds my hand and drives with the other. He occasionally looks at me and gazes into my crystal blue eyes and smiles. When we got to my house he pulls me back into his arms and hugs me and whispers, “I really like you Macy, I had an amazing night and you look beautiful, I want to hangout again sometime soon.”

I smile and say, “Me too.” I give him a kiss on his cheek, and get out of the car.

We text all night afterward. Mom storms into my room and says, “Uhh Missy why haven't you cleaned your room? You need to get off your lazy butt and do something around here if you want to go out!”

I just ignore her, because it causes less drama. My stomach growls , I haven't eaten since lunch, Oh well I think to myself and go to sleep after telling Jaxson sweet dreams.

The next day Mom and I go to the mall, I really want some new Hollister skinny jeans, they are in style now. We walk into the Hollister dressing room to try them on. “Hey Mom don't you like these? I want to get them.”

Mom slowly looks me up, down and all around and says,” Um, Honey I don't know, look in the mirror at your thighs, they look rather big.”

My jaw drops and I look at her in awe. “ Really Mom? They are skinny jeans.”

She says, “ Yeah and that is exactly why you should not get them.” Pointing at my thighs.

“I can't believe you can just judge your own daughter like that! Can't you accept me how I am?”

Mom replies saying, “ Your my daughter, I can judge you, you're going to look how I want you
to!”

“But Mom you can't control me like this.”

“Shut up Macy, Let's go.”

The rest of the shopping trip I did not even bother to ask to try something on I like. I just tried on all the clothes she wanted me to. When we got to Olive Garden, Mom orders me a salad, I don't want a salad, I am starving. Later that night Jaxson asks me to hangout with him at his house and have supper with his family. I drive to his house in my pearl white Nissan Maxima, nervously walking up to the front door and ring the doorbell. Jaxson's Mom, Mrs. Williams, answers and invites me in.

She tells me, “Supper will be done in 10 minutes.” I start to walk up the staircase to go to Jaxson's bedroom and my head starts pounding, my heart is fluttering at 200 beats per minute, I am short of breath, and pass out, tumbling back down the steps. I remember hearing Mrs. Williams shrieking and Jaxson picking me up in shock. I wake up in the hospital, Mom is by my side crying. Tears are falling down her cheek, her makeup is ruined, she looks awful. Jaxson is holding my hand looking concerned and worried.

The doctor walks in and tells Mom, “She is malnourished and very dehydrated.”

Mom doesn't say a word, she just shakes her head in disappointment and says, “It's all my fault.”

When I wake up enough for them to realize, they all are happy to see I am ok.

Mom tells me, “Honey I am so sorry for being so hard on you. I just wanted you to be perfect, but now I realize you already are. I am sorry I will change.”

Jaxson grips my hand, looks me in the eyes and says, “I love you, and we can make it through everything, you are perfect just the way you are.”