It’s not that I wanted to die. It would never be like that. I wanted to have never been. Erased. Vanished. Gone. I wanted the cloud of molecules that had become me to never have met. The feeling of depression had crept in a few months ago, my life seemed to be some sort of cosmic joke. After four attempts at marriage, seven career changes, one bankruptcy, and two hundred and forty seven failed attempts at raising a potted plant I started to feel that the universe had just been made in a way that wasn’t compatable with me. One day as I surfed the internet for a job I felt something. I felt as if an absence had occurred in the internet. Although there are millions of web users out there it seemed to me that another account should have been searching and posting. It looked as if someone I knew or maybe someone I was used to seeing on the web just hadn’t posted on every site I visited. For the first moment in over a year that I felt hope. It seemed that someone had achieved the impossible. No, not the impossible they had achieved... nothing. So at 2:30 on Thursday I walked out of my apartment, picked a direction, and kept going.

My meager savings dwindled as my research continued. I began raiding trash can and garbage bins. all of my money went to books and shared time on laptops in internet cafes. I sat at a cafe called Zebra Stripes in New York when it hit me like a punch in the face. Looking through the endless pool of information that is the internet, I found the bermuda triangle. I’d noticed that anyone one who went missing was missed and talked about. Because of the many reports on the missing, anyone who got lost in the bermuda triangle couldn’t be considered gone. I needed something that would delete me permanently. Something that would take me from the minds of the people I knew. I wanted everything I’d done to be rendered null. Suddenly glancing at an ad with a picture of a bakery in it I felt something. I felt my “nothing”. I clicked on the Picture and it brought me to an ad advertising a stay in Nebraska. In the paragraph describing the sights to be seen it said “Come see the amazing bagel! It’s been here for as long as the bakery has, seventy three years and It has never gone bad or shown any sign of aging”. I had found it. This bagel must have sent many people out of existence. It made sense to me that the bagel would reset every time someone ate it resetting everyone around it and causing the bagel to seem as if it had never aged. A reward of one hundred dollars had would be given to anyone with the guts to eat such a mysterious circle of bread. I had found what I’d been looking for. I was going to eat the bagel.

After spending the rest of my savings on a plane ticket to Nebraska I took a cab to the address listed on the website I had looked at. I stepped out of the car observing the sign in the window that said “Come in and check out the amazing bagel”! Walking in, I saw it on a platter on counter. The man at the counter looked at me curiously as I moved towards the bagel. I ripped the bagel from the platter and stuffed it into my mouth. As I fall to the ground I heard the shopkeeper shouting. Suddenly, darkness. No sound. Smell gone.