There i was looking at the roof, staring at the lights as the music plays in front of me. it was so amazing as i pictured the colors in my head that could match the tone of the music and of course my mind flies to him. i bite my lips to keep in the tears, they sting like acid in my broken eyes, the strong smile, smile i bravely hold on my face cuts like a blade on my rosily cheeks. i look to my left and see darkness, then look to my right and see the girl that has been there for me since the first day i met her. then my mind flies back to him. i begin to play his voice in my head when he talked so sweetly about her that stabs my heart, and i wonder if he's doing the same to me as he did to her. i ask myself so many questions that only he can answer. the music wakes me from my daydream nightmare, and snaps me back to reality which is no different. I realize the music has stopped. i stand up and yet i cant get him out of my mind. all the questions i have make my head spin like a windmill. she taps me on the shoulder but I'm still wondering in the fantasy the he created. everyone could see what he was doing everyone except me. i finally realize I'm holding up the line and move.i walk silently back to school. That same day in the school library i wait for him to tell him my decision, to tell him that I've chosen my friendship over him. i see him and call him over and tell him everything, including my feelings for him and yet when i end it, he just gives me a silent okay. i think to myself and know i did the right things. i walk out to try to forget about him, to try to forget what just happened to try and forget his feeling-less face, but instead i give a second thought to my decision and without thinking and without knowing i march back in there and tell him i'm sorry and that i love him but i snap and ask myself what am i doing? i push the door open and walk out the school with tears running down my face that burn like paper on fire, the flames in my eyes don't let me see where i walk so i trip and fall, but i get right back up. i run as fast as i can as if trying to get away from my miserable life. when i get home all i do is think and listen to songs that remind me of him. as i step in the vapor makes my body numb, and the scolding water stings my flesh as my mind races with question with no answers. no matter how long i stand under the stinging water , i simply cant wash away my pain and feeling of rumors that i feel knowing he is no longer mine.i walk down the halls of my school with my head held up high trying to block out the world.Walking through the halls of fame, smiling, laughing, walking past you, shifting my gaze so my eyes don't meet yours. Pictures that remind me of what i use to have when i was little, no worries not love, nothing to cry about. My heart can no longer break because, there's nothing left in the whole where it use to belong. Now i have no feelings, no remorse, no love left to give. i black out the world from my thoughts, empty inside because, i now know you never cared. i sink deep on my bed with regrets as i close my eyes for a minute and fall into a long sleep with darkness at my sight.