The Fallout Diaries | Teen Ink

The Fallout Diaries

May 31, 2013
By stadtzzz BRONZE, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
stadtzzz BRONZE, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

The following entries are excerpts from the diary of nuclear fallout survivor Dianna Belle, who documented the events following an atomic bomb detonation. The excerpts chronicle the endeavors of her as well as the three other occupants who took shelter with her in the bunker. The group stayed in the bunker for 30 days after the detonation in Los Angeles, California, 1954.

Day 1:


“I’ve just now settled in to this shelter where I’ll have to stay until the nuclear fallout subsides. The place is small, and dull, and really bare. There are no luxuries to speak of, just a few old board games and left-over junk you’d find in a basement. The place is under an apartment complex. The owner, Walter told me how this shelter is actually the remaining foundation to an older building that once stood here, but was destroyed in an earthquake. There are two other people in here as well, a man named Robert, who worked as a janitor for the apartment building, and Debra, a housewife, who happened to make her way in here by luck. Her husband and infant son however, may not have been so lucky. She said that she doesn’t know what’s happened of them.

I feel sorry for Debra. The suspense and doubt must be devastating for her, and being essentially captive does not help her situation. She could be subject to terrible stress under these conditions. Walter seems to be fairly calm about the situation, which is probably good for the rest of us. He is very confident with this shelter that he had prepared. Robert seems to be pretty handy, not too surprising, considering his profession, but that could actually turn out to be useful. Personally, I’m feeling rather upset about this whole thing. I’m glad to be safe, but being stuck in here is no good for me. I don’t have any kind of activity to stimulate my mind for theatre in this place. This could get very boring very quickly.”

Day 2:


“Today, we all got to know each other a little better. The rush of finding a shelter had gone, and we were all settled in, at least as much as we could be. We spent a lot of time just sharing stories and learning about one another to pass the time. I told them all about my newly budding acting career, even the audition I was headed to as the bomb went off. Robert and Debra were supportive, saying how cool they thought it was, but Walter was convinced that my acting will go nowhere. Maybe he’s right. It’s not like I’ll be getting any jobs this month. He can be kind of negative like that though. I don’t really see why he would be so down. He said that his family has a shelter in their own home as well, so they should be making out just fine. He’s successful with his apartment building, but something must be bothering him. I learned some about Robert and Debra as well. Robert told us all about how he played baseball in high school and college, but never made it to “the big leagues,” Which I found sad. He definitely has the body for it. Must be a competitive scene. Debra, I learned, used to volunteer as a nurse down at the hospital all the time before she had her baby. I was excited to hear about this, because in my mind, having a nurse with us in this scenario could be extremely helpful in case someone were to get hurt. So far, we’ve all gotten along well, but Walter’s just been a tad negative.”

Day 7:


“I’m finally starting to get into the groove of things when it comes to life in the bunker, even though there aren’t that many things to do. As I said earlier, there are some little board games and things, but nothing especially fun. Maybe I should try and come up with some kind of game to keep us occupied. That could be nice. Anyway, most of the time, we just sit around and talk, with little else to do. There’s a little power generator in the corner powered by a stationary bike, that must be pedaled every so often to keep the lights and radio on. The radio, which would seem like a decent source for entertainment has been pretty quiet. The actual broadcasting stations must have been destroyed. This radio meant to communicate with others around us, of which there seem to be few. We’ve been using the utility room as a bathroom, and the smell has gotten absolutely terrible, but I’m still so glad for the fact that it’s there. Better that than the corner. It’s almost a tease really, there’s a huge sink and basin in there that would be so useful if only the plumbing were working. All the water is either bottled, or in a tank for other uses like washing. We’ve also been wearing these jumpsuits which we changed into on day one at the entrance of the bunker to prevent contamination from our street clothes. They’re pretty ugly to be quite honest, and not the least bit flattering, at least on me. Funnily enough, I imagine that Robert looks quite the same, going from a janitor’s jumpsuit to a fallout jumpsuit.”

Day 12:



“The monotony of this all is starting to really get to me. I’m getting pretty sick of eating these canned mangoes, which is such a shame, because I loved them before this whole mess happened. Maybe having a fresh mango when I get out will set me straight. I spend most of my time thinking about what I’ll do when I get out, although fixating on this can sometimes make me realize just how boring it is in here. The most bearable part of this whole thing is sleeping. At least my dreams are not confined to this little place, and it does a good job to pass the time. I dream of getting that role, provided that the film is still in production after I get out. Now that I think about it, there could be movies written about this very experience. The thought of that is kind of exciting. Anyway, I also dream of having a family like Debra. She’s such a sweet woman, so caring. I’d love to be like that for someone, even though I have so little time or patience. I suppose it comes with time. I also kind of dream of being successful like Walter. He’s a man who earned everything he owns, and that’s something that I respect. The hard work that he did to get what he has reminds me of my own struggle, and that things just might pay off in the end. Robert, however, doesn’t seem to be quite as inspirational, but I’ll be damned if he’s not one of the most charismatic men that I’ve ever met. I’ve probably talked to him the most out of all the people in here. We both share an ambitious dream, but he’s not been quite as lucky as I have. I love his enthusiasm though. He’s been very optimistic that we will get out safely and that everything will be alright, which has been so calming for me.”

Day 18:


“Today was pretty eventful compared to the rest, so far. We got the radio working and we talked with another group, a family of five, for a short while. It was so happy to hear fresh voices, especially those of children. Poor Debra nearly broke down and cried, remembering her son, whose fate we do not yet know, but I know she must have felt happy to hear someone else as well. It must have been so hard for her to listen to them. They went on and on with us about how happy they were to be safe, which reminded me as well how thankful I should be. I felt some extra confidence, this time, some that wasn’t crushed upon staring into the billionth can of mangoes. I felt exhilarated. The entire day just went well. It’s amazing what a little thing like some communication can do to you in a time like this.”

Day 19:


“It’s early morning as I write this. The excited feeling I felt yesterday stayed through the night. Robert stayed up with me, and we had a wonderful time. Somehow, he managed to find and old bottle of whiskey amongst all the junk, and well, things escalated. Now, I feel better than ever, but I still just can’t wait to get out.”

Day 23:


“Today, things got a little shaky in the shelter. Robert fell while coming down from the bunk bed this morning and he managed to hurt his ankle. He’s also got a few cuts and bruises. He’s doing alright, and I’m happy about it, but I couldn’t stand the sight of Debra trying to nurse his wounds, even though it’s her job outside of this place. I just couldn’t stand to see her hands on him. She used water from the tank to clean him, and gave him some of her ration of water in efforts to help him feel a little better. She said it would help him heal faster, and even if that were true, I would’ve gladly given up mine. I just didn’t like seeing her get all helpful for him. It was like she was putting on an act. The thought of it makes me cringe. I’d like to think I’m not the jealous type, but I know I could have done every little thing that she did just as well. Now, I feel lonely, and I’m not happy with myself for being this way. I want to get out. I want to talk to somebody new. I just can’t stay in here.”

Day 28:


“It’s late, about 11:00pm, and I had been feeling anxious all day. We’re almost out of water, and the utility room is an absolute mess. These living conditions are deplorable. I’m so glad that we’ll be leaving the morning after tomorrow. Even then, we’re not sure what the outside world will be like, but hopefully it will be safe. I’ve been worrying all day about this, and what happened between Robert and Debra still won’t leave my mind. I found that bottle of whiskey that Robert and I drank. There’s still some left. I think that I’ll just have this tonight and go to sleep. I can wake up late tomorrow, and then we’ll have less than a day left. I’m sick of everything. I’m sick of Debra, and her selfishness. She’s not the only one that came in here with a problem. I don’t see why I ever felt sorry for her. I’m sick of Walter and his negativity. He and Robert have been constantly bickering about little things. They both have this delusion that power is of some kind of significance in this hole, and they’ve been fighting about it ever since the subject came up. They would argue over who would be the leader in case of emergency, or when we get out, how we will stay organized in trying to find the right place to go. Neither Debra or myself care about the topic at all, but these two men argue as if it’s the only important thing in their lives. It’s just gotten annoying, and has contributed to my now declining mood, but at this point, I’ve even grown tired of my own thoughts. I’m going to bed, and I’m taking this bottle with me.”

Day 29:


“Now, all that’s on my mind is leaving tomorrow morning. It’s the single last thing that I care about. Debra and Robert can have each other for all I care. I’ll never see these people again after tomorrow. I want to get on with my life. I want to get my acting career off the ground. I care about myself, and no one else. It’s taken until now for me to realize that these people around me are not important. I never would have met them if not for this situation we’re in. I actually find some solace in this realization. Nothing about the struggles of life in here is important. It’s just an event that will pass, and it will pass soon. Thank goodness! The food is almost all gone, and all the bottled water is gone. We’ve been drinking the water from the tank. Even if we had to stay here, we couldn’t. We have to leave tomorrow.” I can’t wait to eat something good. I can’t wait to take a shower and have a bathroom and a home, even if it has to be rebuilt. I just want to get out!


Day 29 (cont.):


Walter and Robert came to blows today. They fought until they were totally exhausted while Debra and I sat on the bunk-beds. We tried to separate them, but they were both too strong for us. It started from another argument over what will happen when we leave. Seeing that Robert works for Walter, they’ll have to continue their relationship after they leave. It’s easier to imagine Robert just quitting. The mood is just incredibly tense. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. We’re all just nervous. The fight between Robert and Walter really shook me. I don’t want to be in danger. There’s animosity between everyone now. Normally I appreciate good drama, but there’s no need for this. I think I’ll be getting a start on my departure early in the morning before they all wake up. I’m just too anxious. I need to get out. I have to get out. I will get out. I’ll see the sun and the sky and breathe air that hasn’t come through a hidden grate. I’ll get out of this hole and show my face and people will be happy that another woman has survived.


The author's comments:
I wrote this to give a dark view of what life would be like stuck in a fallout shelter.

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