As soon as she stepped into the room, her first gaze fell on the pile of clothes on the bed. It seemed very well-arranged but at the same time, that wasn’t where it belonged. She thought about how the wrong things are done at the right times, or is it that the right things are done at the wrong times. Her thoughts seemed to be filled with mess and misconceptions since the death of her parents. Hadn’t they promised they’d always be there for her….forever? It always seemed like her heart was fine being where it was, but that wasn’t where it belonged; it belonged with her dead parents who were everything she ever got just like that pile. A tear rolled down her face and she wiped it away almost immediately as she averted her gaze towards the single shirts and skirts lying carelessly around the huge pile. Wasn’t that how her life was? She has always been a whole, but day by day, her life was breaking into bits and slowly flying away. She could see her life, her mind and heart shredding little by little and being carried with the wind to where she had come from; the dust, but she couldn’t care any less. Why was she living anyway? She had always wished she was in that car when the accident occurred? Why was she in school on that fateful day? Another tear dropped and she wiped it with the back of her hand and moved over to the scattered table. The pens and pencils weren’t in their case, some were broken, few strewed on the table and others were completely lost. The piles of plain sheets that had always had the contents of her mind were now scattered all over the place with crinkled papers on the floor beside a wall, in a heap. She bent over and picked a sheet from the messy table and read the first sentence she saw.
‘I’m out of my mind’ Yes. She was really out of her mind, right? But she had not always been. Now her mind was just as creased and scattered as this room looked now. She ruffled the paper in her hands and furiously threw it at the wall adding to the huge pile. She knelt down and buried her face in her palms sobbing. This time she couldn’t control herself, she just let it flow. She picked up a piece of paper, then another and another and in minutes, every single ruffled paper was gone. She watched the room from where she was standing and in a way, the room wasn’t as messy. She agnised she caused this mess in her life and she can get away from it. She can totally stop herself from going mental. She realized everything was in her power and she smiled.