Leo and I | Teen Ink

Leo and I

November 29, 2012
By maddie_fest BRONZE, Franklin, Tennessee
maddie_fest BRONZE, Franklin, Tennessee
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Faith, trust, and pixie dust! -Peter Pan


We realized it was over as we sat in the garden, the wind whooshing softly around our ears, the flowers creating a false sense of peace. The sun beamed dimly down upon us, but we felt no heat. We were smothered in frost.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” The man in the black suit spoke. I turned my head away and looked at Leo. His head faced his lap and he was still as a statue. His pain orbed through me.
All that we had worked so hard for, all that we had strived for, was broken down in that one moment of us all in the room with the needles and bags of blood. In the room with the beeping machines and doctors with clipboards. And in that one moment of maybe-yes and maybe-no, in that one moment of shaking hands and dried out eyes, she quit. And from that moment on, it was over. And here Leo and I sat now, at the celebration of her life, with nothing to comfort us, but the vague shadow of a memory.

People inched towards us after the procession, sending us words of needless and pointless love. But it passed over us like the wind still whooshing in our ears. Everything was over.



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This article has 2 comments.


on Dec. 1 2012 at 6:00 pm
KenyaLove41 GOLD, Dallas, Texas
16 articles 0 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.&quot; ~Ambrose Bierce<br /> &quot;Nothing is Impossible, the word itself says &#039;I&#039;m Possible!&#039;&quot; ~ Audrey Hepburn<br /> &quot;Good writing is only bad writing revised&quot;~ Unknown

Great story! i loved the introduction and the way you wrote the story(: my only advice is to maybe explain who the dead girl is so the reader doesn't get confused. keep writing XD

CammyS SILVER said...
on Dec. 1 2012 at 1:56 pm
CammyS SILVER, Papillion, Nebraska
5 articles 0 photos 188 comments

Favorite Quote:
No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else&#039;s draft. <br /> H. G. Wells <br /> Don&#039;t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. <br /> Mark Twain

I love your writing! You have an amazing way with words and I could really picture everything. But I felt like the story ended too quickly. Who was the dead girl? What did she mean to  the narrator and Leo? What did she die from? What happened next to the narrator and Leo? This story could deffinitly benifet from being longer. But beside that I loved the piece. I could feel the narrators pain so well.