I am stressed out again.
I sigh, oh, school! When will it end? I need a break. But no my parents would never let me skip out on a day of school just because I’m stressed and my head could possibly explode. I am working on an assignment for my AP Language class. I’m a junior and I’m in high school. I fill with wonder…..and dread as I think about finishing high school just to go right into college. I can’t wait for the experiences, college will bring me. The experiences that I hope will fill me with so much joy.
Oh, no. I’ve drifted off into my thoughts again. How long has it been?
I pick up my phone, which I always have right by me whenever I need it. I quickly unlock my phone and check the time. The screen reads in big white writing: 8:30pm
8:30PM!! I’ve wasted a whole hour in my thoughts. Sometimes it beguiles me how I can possibly spend so much time staring off into space and now I’m p***** at myself for wasting so much time! I mean, I could have finished my assignment by now. I look down at my instruction sheet for the assignment. I’ve barely started. And there are just so many things to cover if I’m going to get an A, which there is no doubt in my mind that I have to get an A because I always just do. It is not the assignment that is hard. No, not at all. It’s the amount of time it will take to complete the assignment that bothers me. I stare down at my assignment, as again my insides fill with dread. I guess I’m going to be pulling off a late night.
One day at a time is what I always try to think of. But I just can’t help hoping that tomorrow will be an easier day in school. After all, I am good, people know that. But the people that have seen the real me aren’t really convinced I’m human. I have no intention of ever letting anyone see the real me. Not again.
It’s why I moved.