Anger Breaker | Teen Ink

Anger Breaker

June 28, 2011
By TheCoffeeKitten BRONZE, Saugatuck, Michigan
TheCoffeeKitten BRONZE, Saugatuck, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments

I was in a bad mood, and the whole freaking world could know it. There wasn’t a specific reason for the mood, it was just there. I suppose I was mad. Mad at the world. Mad at God. Mad at my whole damn situation.

The chill of the night air blew across my face. Flipping the leather of my collar up to my face, I let it block most of the wind as I walked. My older brother could have come with me, usually would’ve, but he knew not to bother me when I was like this. He just let me slam the door of the house with nothing but a book and my wallet, which I had hastily shoved into my pocket.

Despite its size, the house was suffocating. I had to get out; leave my brother and my uncle for the night. If I wasn’t blinded by my bad mood, I probably would have taken my car and slept in it for a night. But I didn’t—I just walked.

Down the road a little ways was a diner. People who lived in Carson City only went there; anybody else, tourists maybe, would have found it too seedy. It was actually a good place to sit and think, talk, eat, drink coffee…albeit a little dirty.

Neon lights advertising the name hung over the diner, seemingly floating in the darkness. I shook my head to try and free my face from some of the hair. Haphazardly, I pulled it into a ponytail. As an act of personal defiance, I had grown it out after it happened. He... my brother had once had long hair before my Uncle made him cut it—I wanted to look like him, at least a little. My Uncle didn’t mind when he did it, but freaked when I decided to wear it long. Most people said that it made me look dangerous, the way I wore my hair in an elastic. It showed all the piercing on my ear, and cast a shadow across my face that made my eyes gleam. That’s what they said, not me. I just cared about being able to see five feet in front of me.

Coming up to the diner, I pulled on the door. A bell jingled over the top, signaling my arrival. There were a good few other late night diners, apparently having the same need to be out as me. One looked up. We nodded respectfully to each other.

David, the owner, came out from the back while wiping his hands on a rag to see his new arrival. Seeing it was me, he raised his hand in greeting. I normally would have responded, but I didn’t. He saw the book under my arm and didn’t press his hello further. Whenever I needed to be alone, I came here and read. He knew that.

Settling myself in the booth, I nodded at David behind the counter. He knew that was his cue to give me coffee, and lots of it. I was tired, but I couldn’t sleep yet. There was too much going in my mind.

Flipping my book open, not bothering to find the page but instead starting over, I unsuccessfully tried to concentrate on the pages. Every word, sentence, and paragraph blurred in front of me, supplying me with a nasty migraine. I hadn’t remembered to put my contacts in this morning, and was so mad I forgot to grab my glasses.

Rubbing my temples, I set down the book and looked around. The bright floodlights only worsened the headache.

Aside from the other people sitting in window-side booths, there was only one girl sitting at the counter. She had a black skirt and red shirt, the diner’s uniform colors. It flared out at the sleeves to let the air inside—In Nevada, loose shirts kept you cool… in the daytime. At night, the desert was cold and dry. She must have been freezing.

She turned to look at me, almost as if she sensed my gaze. Her long, milky chocolate hair flowed as she moved, and the floodlight behind her cast a halo against her face.

Embarrassedly, I turned my head and feigned interest in my book which I had thankfully left open. I heard her giggle, and push back her stool. The clunking on linoleum was quickly followed by the sound of pouring coffee.

I was still in a mood, although not as intense, it was still there. People knew not to talk to me when I was in this mood—my brother, my Uncle, David, people at school. So, when the white china coffee cup, filled to the brim with steaming brown liquid, slid towards me, I was startled when it was accompanied by a, “Hi,” and the sound of a tiny body sliding into the plastic booth seat across from me.

Looking up, I felt the mood begin to subside.


The author's comments:
I had a bad case of writer's block, but I wanted to write something involving my two characters. However, I just brought it down to the basics. No names, no history, only sensory deatil and very simple yet not-so-simple emotions. He's angry, she's cute. The night's cold for her; he's got a jacket and an empty seat.

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This article has 24 comments.


on Oct. 11 2011 at 3:58 pm
Timekeeper DIAMOND, Cary, North Carolina
62 articles 0 photos 569 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over a garbage can and says 'That's Punk'?, and I say 'No that's trendy'!"- Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day

You really succeeded at keeping the "no names, no history" idea. It was very easy to imagine who these characters were, you brought them to life with their characterization. A great example of showing rather than telling.

tealbird said...
on Aug. 25 2011 at 4:02 pm
Oh trust me, I plan to :D. I've read a lot of stories on this website, and this one I promise you is one of the best ones I've read. I'm glad that my random comments (:D) helped give you some ideas, and I hope your writing goes a long way.

on Aug. 25 2011 at 7:43 am
Hazel-daisy GOLD, --, Other
19 articles 0 photos 324 comments

Favorite Quote:
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else - Erna Bombeck<br /> <br /> In three words i can sum up everything I&#039;ve learned in life: it goes on -Robert Frost<br /> <br /> Live, Love, Laugh - ______<br /> <br /> Hope, Love, breathe &lt;3 - Me

aw thanks! That comment just made me feel warm and fuzzy inside! :)

on Aug. 24 2011 at 8:39 pm
TheCoffeeKitten BRONZE, Saugatuck, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments
Heehee~ Don't worry, to stop writing is the last thing I plan to do! And you're idea actually inspired a whole new story with these two! Thank you again for the nice comment, and I hope you read the story when it's completed and uploaded. =)

on Aug. 24 2011 at 8:33 pm
TheCoffeeKitten BRONZE, Saugatuck, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments
Wow, thank you! I'm very happy you enjoyed reading, and the compliment made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. =) I really liked your story Dear Dad. Very beautiful, it makes me happy to get a comment from such a good writer!

on Aug. 24 2011 at 8:30 pm
TheCoffeeKitten BRONZE, Saugatuck, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments
Oh, really? Odd, I didn't see anything while proofing, or perhaps that's just my untrained eye. =) Thank you for the kind comment!

on Aug. 24 2011 at 8:29 pm
TheCoffeeKitten BRONZE, Saugatuck, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments
Thanks so much! And wow, somebody got it! S.E. Hinton is one of my favorite writers, I kinda got inspired by her writing to do this. =) I love The Outsiders. Anyways, thanks for the rating and the nice comment! Cheers! =D

on Aug. 24 2011 at 5:50 pm
Hazel-daisy GOLD, --, Other
19 articles 0 photos 324 comments

Favorite Quote:
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else - Erna Bombeck<br /> <br /> In three words i can sum up everything I&#039;ve learned in life: it goes on -Robert Frost<br /> <br /> Live, Love, Laugh - ______<br /> <br /> Hope, Love, breathe &lt;3 - Me

i really like this, i think the plot is good  but what holds it together is the writing skills beneath it! good job :)

tealbird said...
on Aug. 24 2011 at 3:48 pm
Again, I thank you for your comments. :D As for your story, the first things I thought about with these characters was some sort of suspense story. I don't know why, but I can picture these two in a life-or-death, shoot-'em-up, hunt-'em-down kind of plot. I think you've done a great job at setting the scene for both of the characters, and there is no where for this story to go but up. Don't stop writing, please! :{D

on Aug. 24 2011 at 12:03 am
PaigeStreet PLATINUM, Juneau, Alaska
47 articles 0 photos 218 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Stay golden&quot;<br /> - Johnny (The Outsiders, S. E. Hinton)

Nice! Great narrative style. Kinda S.E. Hinton. *****

on Aug. 23 2011 at 11:31 pm
BorderlineGenius777 SILVER, Lewiston, Idaho
7 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most would be content to take their own and depart.&quot;- Socrates

very good. i saw a few grammar mastakes, but other then that, very enjoyable.

on Aug. 23 2011 at 9:33 pm
TheCoffeeKitten BRONZE, Saugatuck, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments
Thanks so much for the kind words! I'm happy that you liked the story, tone and characters. I do want to do more with these characters, but I'm at a loss. If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. =) Your story, Leaving Neverland, that was beautiful too, by the way. =) Thanks again!

on Aug. 23 2011 at 9:31 pm
TheCoffeeKitten BRONZE, Saugatuck, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments
Thank you so much, and sorry for the late reply. The voice of the character was what I was really focusing on in this story, among a few other key things, such as how a reader would want to learn more about him. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the feedback! Loved your story, by the way. Cheers!

on Aug. 8 2011 at 7:54 pm
TheCoffeeKitten BRONZE, Saugatuck, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments
Thank you--I'm pleased with the discription as well. =) I'm happy that you liked it except for the confusing gender issue. Cheers!

tealbird said...
on Aug. 8 2011 at 11:41 am
This is great, and I loved the tone. I do have to say that I thought the character was a girl until the end, but I am intrigued by the characters. Please post more with them in it!! :D

on Aug. 8 2011 at 11:02 am
M.Trainor SILVER, Pataskala, Ohio
7 articles 0 photos 16 comments
I thought it was good. It makes me want to find out about your charcter's life, why he acts the way he does. I think your voice really worked with this story.

.Izzy. BRONZE said...
on Aug. 8 2011 at 10:05 am
.Izzy. BRONZE, Broadview Heights, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 388 comments
I liked this! Your description was nice and simple- I'm glad you didn't go overboard! I was a little confused at the end because I thought your character was a girl. So my only advice would be to make it the fact that he is a boy a little clearer

on Aug. 7 2011 at 11:10 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

Sorry, it sort of seemed like you were switching points of view between the guy and the girl.  Maybe that's because I read this after nine hours at work.  So don't worry, it won't be confusing to an alert brain!

on Aug. 7 2011 at 10:29 pm
TheCoffeeKitten BRONZE, Saugatuck, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments
Thanks so much! I'm glad you found it interesting--however, I'm a tad confused. When you say POV changes, what exactly do you mean? I meant to write it through one man's point of view--I hope I didn't screw up somewhere and made it all confusing! D= Anyways, thanks for the read-always glad for feedback. Cheers!

on Aug. 7 2011 at 10:27 pm
TheCoffeeKitten BRONZE, Saugatuck, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments
Thank you so much--I'm glad my descriptions seem to be getting better! And I'm happy that you're intrigued for this is kind of loosely based on a novelish project I'm working on and hope to publish one day. It still needs work though, lol. Thank you again; cheers, mate! =)