I tried to hide it, but it was all over my body - on my arms and legs, and sometimes even on my face. Sometimes people ask, “What happened?” But I know not to speak, I lie for you. I know not to leave; it could just hurt me. I am truly scared of you. I wouldn’t say that’s a good thing, but you take it as a compliment. But you shouldn’t be proud; you made it easy to believe that men are monsters. You should show love towards me.

I carry the marks of the times you hurt me. When I don’t look or speak to you the right way, you go for my legs. You go for my arms if I don’t do something right. And you go for my face if your day wasn’t great, or you are very angry, even though I wasn’t the one who made you mad.

But I can’t take it anymore. I have so much pain when I just look at your face. My heart sinks when I think of your angry fists of pain.

The bruise in my heart will always be there. Even if I try to bandage it, you hurt me again; I need more than just a bandage.

Then you brought out that thing that makes me sick when I think about it. In the dark, the thing looked heavy. A shimmer of the moon made it lustrous. It was long and thin. Since it was in the dark, I didn’t get what it was at first. But I immediately realized what it was when you put it against my throat. What do I do? What is he going to do with this- my thoughts were interrupted by your voice and the cold blade coming closer to my throat.

You were never this way before. I really thought I was going to die. Your voice was harsh and cold when you said, “I swear to you, I could kill you with this knife and make it look like an accident!”

All I could do was look away in shame. The knife quickly slid away; you looked at me in disgust. I don’t know why I let myself believe that you love me. But I love you. I can’t take all the bruises and questions that keep appearing in my life.

Your “friend” stopped by. She didn’t know about me. She didn’t know you were cheating on her. She was a tall blonde without a bruise in sight. But that will soon change. She was going to be your next victim. That is, after you left me, or even killed me. She didn’t realize what she was getting into.
But I can’t have you in my life anymore. You don’t even love me. You just use me as your punching bag.
I’m pregnant. It’s yours.
And I am not going to kill my baby. I am going to keep it. I will never let you hurt it. I will treat it like royalty. If it is a girl, I will call her Fay. And if it is a boy I will name him Hayden. But I will not let you touch my child, ever. A child needs a fear- free life.

If I stay with you, you most likely will kill me and my baby. I need to look after myself and get away from it all. So this is the last time you will speak to me. You will never find me. I will be far, far away. Don’t you dare look for me.

For these reasons, I am leaving you.










With love,









Your lost love