Dear friend
I wrote this letter almost as a last hope, I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to give it to you though. I feel like I have this huge weight on me and every day it gets harder to carry. Did you ever notice how I wear long sleeves even when its 90 degrees outside? Yeah I used to say it was because I was always cold, and you just shrugged and said whatever. Did you ever notice how I never dressed down for gym? I always made up some kind of excuse so I wouldn’t have to show more skin than I wanted and yet someone always bought it. Did you ever notice how I was always seemed to be trying to hold back tears? You asked what was wrong a couple times but never pressed the question… I wish you had. Did you notice how I didn’t like you or anyone else making fun of the weird kids, or the drug addicts or the cutters. It’s because I felt their pain. Did you notice how today I made an offhand comment about how much I cared about you and told you thank you for everything, and you didn’t think anything of it. You always asked why I dropped out of debate and the year book club and why I was always so depressed, but you never pressed me for an answer. Did you notice the scars on my wrist that one time my jacket got stuck for just a second in the door?
If only you knew tonight I had a gun to my head, and I’m about to pull the trigger… I wish you knew