Wanna know what it’s like to miss someone? I mean, really, really miss someone? So much that it feels like you’re missing a part of yourself? Like you can’t believe you ever actually lived without them? Imagine living life with only one eye. Things just don’t look the same without that other eye. Or think what it would be like to move to a new country where nobody speaks your language. It’s like no one around really knows the real you. It’s like you’re walking around all day and all you can think about is that one person. You think you see him in the mall, at the bus stop, on T.V. He’s everywhere. Everywhere but with you. Where he belongs. A song or a smell can bring you to tears. Because it’s those little things about him that make you miss him the most. Someone will hug you and you will try and imagine it’s him, just for one second. You will pretend you can feel his breath on your skin and hear his voice in your ear, just for one moment. One moment of bliss, and then he’s gone again. You will get dressed in the morning and imagine if he would think you look nice. You will put on your makeup the way he used to like it. And wear the perfume he gave you for Christmas until there is absolutely nothing left of it. And when it’s finished, you still won’t be able to throw the bottle out. Because it’s a part of him. He held that very bottle in his hand. The hand that combed through your hair, and helped you zip up your dress, and then took it off later that night. Those hands. Strong. Rough. Warm. You can still feel his body press against yours if you really try. You can feel his chest breath in and out, and imagine the comfort of being held in his arms. You will put a pillow beside you when you go to bed, because you can’t sleep alone anymore. You’ll wake up some mornings and expect to see him. And you’ll cry when he isn’t there.
He isn’t there anymore. He isn’t here anymore. He isn’t anywhere anymore.
And you will cry.