Jane looked out the window of her bedroom to the barn her family had recently fixed up, certain slabs of wood had started to crack and had been replaced with fresh lighter ones. This created a pattern that was slightly displeasing to Jane. She would prefer it if it was a solid color. After a moment of irritation, she fell into a fantasy about a life outside of the farm. She was sick of her routine. Wake up, go to school, come home, milk the cows, do homework, dinner, read, and go to bed. Occasionally Jane would ride her horse Wyatt or meet up with friends, but for the most part her days were fairly similar. 

Her daydream came to a halt when she noticed her younger brother Lincoln heading into the barn. He emerged from the middle of the large green tractors in front. He looked to be carrying something, possibly a large collar. She decided she would go see what he was up to, after all there was nothing interesting for her to do inside. 

Jane walked downstairs and out the front door. The cool air nipped at her nose and sent a shiver through her body. She wrapped her arms around herself and headed towards the barn. There were small water droplets on the grass which covered her bare feet. She disliked shoes even in cold weather. However when she reached the barn she slipped on a pair of bright green rain boots her parents made her wear. Lincoln said “Jane, look at this collar I made for the cow! It says Rez on it because I think we should name this new one Rez.” Her family had recently purchased a new cow they were going to use for milk. 

“Lincoln, that’s kind but you know that the cows can’t wear collars, right? Mom and Dad don’t like when we put stuff on the animals.” Jane remembered the time she got scolded by her dad for trying to make a Halloween costume for her horse. He did not like it when they got attached to the animals or humanized them in any way.

Lincoln nodded but still continued to place the collar on the cow. He would have to learn for himself that their dad would get mad. Jane turned away and grabbed a jacket off the rack to go for a walk. 

Aside from her horse, the only other thing she loved about the farm was all of the space she had to walk and clear her head. Often she thought about everything she wanted to do in life, everything she couldn’t do here. This farm had existed in her family for years and she had been conditioned her whole life to take it over. However, her plan was to leave the farm as soon as she could. She was only a junior in highschool, but she had been planning her escape basically her entire life. 

Jane walked on the matted down grass following the same route she always did. As she walked she contemplated how she would ask her parents about college. This was her only way out. Neither of her parents had been to college. They, like her, were conditioned to take over farms. Her dad was raised here and met her mom in elementary school. Their families were good friends. Her parents fell in love in highschool and followed the path that had been designed for them. Jane wanted to escape this place but did not know how she would ever convince her parents that this life wasn’t for her. 

As Jane walked the sun peeked through the large trees above her. The leaves were starting to grow in, creating a barrier between the ground and the sky. She thought about New York City. She imagined herself there, looking up at skyscrapers and tall city buildings. This made her feel giddy. Then a bird flew over her and she was brought back to the farm. 

She continued down the path towards a small stream. She stared at her reflection, her face appearing wrinkled and distorted as the water flowed. As she looked at her reflection she saw the same, trapped version of herself. Tonight would be the night she would talk to her parents. 

Jane headed back home slightly nervous but very motivated. She had attempted this conversation before but her parents simply told her that she was set for life with this farm. Her and Lincoln were trained and ready to keep it going for generations to come. 

As she approached the house she smelled her mother’s chili. Her stomach began to rumble and she felt a sense of warmth within her. She loved this chili. Her mom made it a few times a year, usually for special occasions. Jane couldn’t think of a reason that they would be having it tonight. Maybe her parents were surprising her and Lincoln with special news! Although, it’d probably just be a new animal or something. 

Jane looked down at her boots. They were covered in mud. She sat down on the front stoop and slid them off, then tossed them towards the hose. She would wash them off later. She walked up the stairs barefoot, ready to warm her feet under a blanket, but when she got inside her mother asked her to set the table. Tonight they’d be eating as a family. They hadn’t done this in a few weeks. Her dad was always busy taking care of animals, going to meetings or in town, and her family often ate separately. She and Lincoln often would take their food to the barn to eat near Wyatt and the cows. They loved eating with the animals and away from their parents. 

Jane did not like family dinners. Her parents always tell her everything she does wrong and how her attitude needs to improve if she’s ever going to be successful. What was successful to them she always wondered. If it’s this farm, then they would have no say in her attitude. “Why are we having a family dinner tonight? We haven't done that in weeks?” Jane asked. Her mother went over to the cabinet and started handing her plates. 

“I thought it would be nice for that reason… Plus your father and I have to discuss some things with you and Lincoln” she said. Jane noticed a sort of distressed tone in her mother’s response. 

Jane set the table quickly and then headed upstairs to take a shower. She chose not to worry about whatever her parents needed to tell her. She had bigger things to talk about with them. In her shower she decided that she would first listen to what her parents had to tell them, and then she would bring up the idea of college. She would describe why it was important. Last time she took the approach of beating up the farm, but she knew she had to be gentler this time if she wanted any luck. She wouldn’t mention the farm and only what she would do with her life elsewhere. She would tell them about her plan to go to school, then graduate and move to New York. She would work in business and come visit every year for the holidays. It was the perfect plan. Jane even put on a little bit of lip gloss and her best sweater for dinner. She needed this to work. 

Jane walked down stairs to see Lincoln already at the table next to her dad, and her mom carrying a bowl of broccoli over to the table. The chili was placed nicely in the center and Lincoln already had a small portion on his plate. “Look Jane, we're having a family dinner! Mom even made chili!” said Lincoln. Jane briefly smiled and then took her seat beside her mother who sat down shortly after. She looked at her family members who weren’t saying much. They all placed food on their plates. Her father began by telling everyone about his trip to town. He ran into a few townies, including our great Aunt Ida. Jane looked over to her mother seated beside her. She was twirling a strand of her hair, a habit she did when she was nervous. She questioned why her dad was stalling.

“Why are we having this dinner? What is this big news you guys have to tell us?!” Jane asked bluntly. She wanted to hear whatever her parents had to say so that she could make her own case about leaving home. 

Jane’s father looked over to her and corrected her, “Jane, now don’t get into your mood that you like to bring out every time we have a family conversation.” Jane breathed in, held her breath, counted to five and breathed out. 

“I am not getting into my attitude that YOU think I bring out at family conversations. I am genuinely curious because mom said you guys had to tell us something”, Jane said in a composed voice. 

“Yes dear, we do, just be aware as you talk. Well, I suppose we can jump right in”, her father looked over to her mother. Lincoln sat quietly mushing his broccoli with his chili. Jane’s heart began to race and she felt a warm, tingly feeling from inside. She was unsure what this could be about and given her father’s expression, it was surely something important. 

“Well kids…” said their father, “Your mother and I have been discussing a certain topic for a while, well for about a year now… and we’ve thought about what would be best for you guys… be best for our family. We’ve decided to separate.” 

“What does separate mean?!” Jane asked nervously. Her mother grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. Lincoln ran over and sat on their mother’s lap.

“Well kids, we are getting a divorce.” He finished.

“Does that mean that we won’t all live here anymore?” asked Lincoln. 

“Well yes boy. It means that your mother is going to move out. She has chosen to relocate to the city of Boston.” Jane’s mother looked down at the table. Jane’s head was racing as she thought about what this meant. Her idea about going to college, moving to New York… that all left her mind rapidly. She looked over to Lincoln who was staring at her. Both children were unsure of how to feel. Jane tried to reassure him by slightly smiling but her smile quickly went away. 

“And kids,” started their mother, “You can either come live with me or stay on the farm. Your father and I understand whichever option you choose. I move in a month so you have some time. This is what is best for us, as I have found a new job in the city and will be able to start fresh”. Jane had no idea her parents were unhappy. She just thought that they hated her, not each other. Maybe this divorce could be a good thing, it was a straight shot to the city.

“I’d like to go to Boston,” Jane blurted out. All heads in the room jolted in her direction. She quickly looked down at her lap, realizing she had just said that out loud.

“Maybe you should think about it a bit more before you make that decision”, Jane’s mother responded as her father looked slightly saddened. 

“No, it’s nothing against Dad, or anything like that”, Jane said quickly attempting to cover up her fast decision, “it’s just that I’m dying to see the city and experience a life different from this one… that's all.”

“No worries darling. Is everyone finished?” her father replied. Everyone nodded, though they had barely touched their food. He started cleaning up dishes and dismissed Jane and Lincoln to their rooms. Jane started up the stairs as Lincoln followed behind with a confused look on his face. Jane tapped him on the shoulder and reassured him that no matter what happened they would always have each other. It would all be okay. This appeared to have reassured him enough as he smiled and ran to his room to play with his toy trucks. Oh how Jane wished she was that young and naive. 

A month snuck up quickly and before they knew it, Jane and her mother were headed to Boston. Lincoln decided that he wanted to stay on the farm with his dad. Lincoln always had a special bond with his father, one that Jane never understood. She knew he would be happy. Plus, the deal they made was that she would live with her mother and go home on school breaks and holidays. Except for Christmas and Thanksgiving, then Lincoln would come to Boston. 

When the day came to leave Jane was slightly sad, but mostly excited. She could not wait to leave. As she finished packing she took another glance out her window. Lincoln was sitting on the tractor outside the barn, book in hand, laughing at something he was reading. This made Jane feel warm inside, and that slight feeling of sadness began to slip away. 

Jane grabbed the last sweater from her closet and placed it nicely into her suitcase. She then, with great effort, closed it. She was all packed. She grabbed one suitcase in each hand, threw her backpack over her left shoulder and headed downstairs. The family all gave hugs, her father even began to tear up. That bit of sadness re-entered Jane’s system. She had never seen her father cry. Jane felt tears swell up under her eyes. One even began to slowly roll down her cheek. 

“I love you Darling, I can’t wait to hear all about Boston when you come to visit in March” her father said, squeezing her tightly. A few more tears slipped out, this time at a much faster pace. 

“I love you too Daddy” Jane said and then quickly headed outside. She said her goodbyes to Lincoln outside. He seemed unphased by the entire situation. Jane just chuckled, hugged him tightly and told him to take care of the cows, and Wyatt for her. She then headed to the barn and gave Wyatt a big carrot. He gnawed on it and moved his head up and down. He did that when he was happy. Jane smiled, satisfied with her goodbyes and jumped into the passenger seat of her mom’s minivan. 

Jane and her mother drove fourteen hours, stopping only twice for food and the bathroom. Together they discussed their new home and life away from the farm. Jane had no idea that her mother also wanted to leave that place. She always got defensive when Jane mentioned leaving. Her mother smiled so big as they drove into Massachusetts. The welcome sign had these two white flowers that caught Jane’s eye. She wondered what type of flowers they were. 

When they arrived in the city Jane was appalled. She had never seen buildings so tall. She had never seen so many colors, so many people in one place. They passed a park with swans in a pond and people sitting on park benches eating sandwiches. Jane had a feeling she would go there often. 

Twenty minutes later they pulled up to their new townhouse. It was slightly on the outskirts of the city, but it was still within walking distance to restaurants, parks, and even Jane’s new school. It was a brick building with black windows. The neighbors had a white front door and theirs was bright red. Jane liked this because it made the homes different. This townhouse looked much smaller than their house at home. Her mom explained that on the farm, it was much cheaper to build a large home than it would be to build one here. Jane slowly lost interest in the conversation and jumped out of the car.

“Sorry mom, I want to get inside,” she said. Her mother chuckled and popped the trunk. They carried in the small amount of items they had. The house came furnished, so they didn’t have to worry about loading or unloading much. Jane looked up once more at her new home and then took her first strides up the stairs. She placed the key her mother handed her into the silver door knob and twisted. The door opened and she eagerly pushed it open. The townhouse was quaint and adorable. 

When you walked in, the stairs were on the left and there was a living room on the right. There was a small fireplace in the wall and a brown leather couch facing it. It was the perfect place for Jane to read. She looked past the living room to the kitchen and then to a large window on the back wall. She set her bags down next to the door, and walked into the kitchen. The cabinets were white, and the countertops black. The kitchen looked far more modern than their farmhouse. She had no idea her family had the money for a place like this. Her house on the farm was older and rustic. No one would look at it and think that her family had money. But this place felt like a place where rich people would live in Jane’s mind. Maybe that’s why her family was so adamant about keeping the farm in business. 

Jane headed up stairs to explore the bedrooms. When she reached the top of the stairs she faced a small bathroom. It was tiled white with a shower, toilet and sink. It was small and basic but all they needed. Adjacent to the stairs was three bedrooms in a row. She decided on the middle room. It was the second biggest, as she figured her mom should have the largest. There was a twin bed on the right with a window above it. Next to the bed was a brown nightstand. Jane walked over and placed her bags on the bed. This room was slightly smaller than her room on the farm, but it was perfect. 

Jane jumped up on the bed to look out the window. Her window overlooked a side street where the trash cans were put out. Across the street there was another brick building. She was unsure if it was apartments or offices. This wasn’t exactly the view she expected to have in the city, but it would do. 

Jane grew tired as she moved in all her belongings. She thought about calling her dad and Lincoln to tell them about the new place. But, as she started dialing their number her eyes grew heavy and she fell fast asleep, in her new bed, on the first night of her new life. 

The End