The fire in his eyes scared me. I felt like prey under his vision. There was this cold feeling in my body. Why does he make me feel that way? It was going perfectly at first; we were sitting there in the park having a picnic, watching the stars. They were so beautiful and he was so sweet. His smell gave me butterflies in my stomach; his voice sent shivers down my spine. It was the best feeling I had in a while.

But then he asked to take me on a walk. We started walking in the woods. The path was filled with thorns and the wind was blowing so hard it was a little chilly out. He picked up my hand and told me that I was beautiful. But I know this is wrong--it's my best friend's brother--but the date was perfect.

It feels like I’m about to throw up as I think about telling Char. It feels like betrayal. She has been my best friend since we were five. How do I tell her I'm in love with her brother? I know that I shouldn't and it could ruin our friendship. I don't know if I should tell her it has been a couple of days. Maybe I will keep it from her till I know it is serious. 

The next day woke up to a paragraph from him I got up and got ready for school I got to school and went to class we sat right next to each other we passed notes and he accidentally dropped one of them the teacher picked it up and read it out loud it said  “do you want to go to the movies tomorrow “ he blushes while the teacher reads it out aloud. 

 I say “yes” 

 Then we all get back to work. He keeps starting class ends and then after school, I go home and have dinner with my family.

* * *

He calls me on facetime. I get nervous and butterflies in my stomach when I pick up the phone. He has this look in his eyes that scares me.

 He says, “ did you cheat on me olivia says that you kissed max, “ 

 I said, ‘no” and explain “oliva is my ex-best friend; she is trying to ruin our relationship because she is jealous,” 

He says, “okay I'm tired I'm going to go to bed goodnight baby,” 

I say, “goodnight.”

The next night I am getting ready for my date I wear this pretty black dress and makeup you wait for him he pulls up and hands me a bouquet of roses and you get in the car he puts his hand on your thigh while you are driving you to start to get this sick feeling in your stomach and shivers run down your spine when his hand touches your thigh.

“I’m uncomfortable,” I say quietly. “Can you please move your hand?” 

He says, “Deal with it. You’re mine and I don’t care how you feel,” and moves his hand up higher. 

We get to the movie and he keeps making aggressive moves towards me--and other people.  I have fear in my eyes;  he's acting like a wildfire on a windy day, so much anger and aggression.

I get home from the date. I feel the fiery pain from a bruise on my thigh from the strength of his grip 

My mom notices, and asks, “What is that?”

“Oh, I accidentally hit my thigh on a trash can at the movie theater,” I say, brushing off her concerns.

She asks again are you sure you say your positive and say that you have had a long day and is tired  

 So I go to bed the 

* * *

The next day your best friend asks if you want to hang out today 

You say, “yes” 

 So you guys go over to her house.

Her brother/your boyfriend is not home and you guys are just chilling. He gets home and you go say you need to use the bathroom to tell him you're going to tell her about them.

He says “don't you f**king dare tell her” and starts yelling and slaps you across the face your best friend walks in right.

As he slaps you across the face, she says “what the hell are you doing Xavier why did you hit her” 

“Because I can and she's mine,” he says.  

she says “what” 

you start crying and you say “you guys have been dating for three months and you were going to tell her today but Xavier didn't want me to tell you and that's why he hit me”

Your best friend says “come, we will talk about this later.”

you go to her room she say, “Can you explain what's going on” 

you say, “Well it started off so well he was so sweet and he took me on perfect dates  but over time he nit-picked everything I did and I wanted to tell you  right away but he told me not to so I didn't but over the time he got more aggressive he would leave bruises he would hit me if he didn't like something I did or would yell at me for hours but I can't break up with him because I love him so what do I do char” 

Well first off him hitting you is not okay and I will be talking to our parents about that and second, he's being toxic and you can't let yourself break because of one person and it's going to hurt but I'm here for you so what do we need to do what can I help with. 

You say “ can we get a pregnancy test I'm a week late can we start with that” 

she says, “of course” I will drive you 

You guys get into the car and then get a test and go and go back the test comes back positive you start crying n knowing what to do but the first thing is you go to Xavier and tell him he gets that fire look in his eyes again your scared.  he looks at you and hits you in the stomach and calls you pathetic. 

He says, “it's not his” 

Tears start to roll down my face and then his parents walk in char starts to explain how you and Xavier are dating and that Xavier hits you his mom and dad are lived they are red in the face and start to yell at him they throw all his stuff out of the apartment he was kicked out the parents say that you are welcome anytime.

* * *

Six months later you go to chars house and you ask her if you should keep the baby 

She says, “You should because even though it will come from a messed up situation it will be your pride and joy ” 

You guys start talking and she admits to you that she likes you and you make her heart flutter and every time she talks to you she gets butterflies in her stochmic you tell her that you don't know how to feel about it because you guys have been best friends for so long I mean 

We used to finger paint as kids together can you give me time to think 

She says, “Of course, you're still my best friend either way” 

You say, “thank you it's just hard because I'm pregnant with your brother's baby”

* * *

Im  sitting at home I start feeling this little kick in my  stomach and so you call char and tell her that the baby if moving and your going to see if its a girl or boy today I'm  excited she asks if she can come along 

You say, “Say yes”

You get to the doctor, they put the cold gel on your stomach, they listen to the baby's heart and take pictures of it. 

 she says, “Do you want to know the gender” 

you say, “Yes” 

she tells you it's a baby girl char  you both are so excited you guys head out to the doctor's you  were so excited char  asks if you want to go to target 

you say, “Yes”

You guys start looking around. You found this really pretty crib you put it in the cart get a few more essentials and then go back to chars' place.

* * *

Three months later you are in the emergency room about to have the baby. You are so nervous and the Xavier walks in, you get this sick feeling in your stomach you start to cry but you can't do anything about it. He's the father of your kid. He comes up to you, and he makes it look like he's just talking to you but he grabs your wrist so tight that you whimper he tells you to stop being pathetic. you feel his touch on your skin it sends goosebumps down your spine and you smell this sweet smell you're scared but you starting to give in to his touch because you still love him he lifts your head up and kisses you 

char walks in and says, “What the hell is going on I feel so betrayed right now I have helped you get away from him and you just let him do that to you” 

But she does see the tight grip around your wrist your thinking what do I do what do I say 

You say, “No he has a tight grip on my wrist and kissed me I didn't want this” 

She looks at char and then at Xavier 

He says, ¨I  can be here it's the birth of my child”

 Char says, “No you can't your abusive and no one wants you here I'm going to get security”

He lets go of my wrist and pushes char down and slaps her the doctor walks in and kicks Xavier out once Xavier goes out you ask her if she's okay 

She says, “Yes are you okay” 

You say, “You're fine” 

¨There are purple marks around your wrist¨ char says