“Johnny, Johnny, wake up Johnny!” Hubert shakes his son excitedly, sat on the side of his bed. Johnny, 13 years of age at this point, begins to stir in his race car bed

    “Dad? What are you-” Johnny yawns. “-Why are you in my room? It's like, uh.” Johnny checks his bedside digital clock. “Three in the morning.”

    “Johnny!” Hubert whispers, eyes aglow with wonder. “It’s happening Johnny, it’s finally happening!”

    “What’s finally happening?” Johnny squints to see his father’s features in the darkness. He’s only able to make out his bald head and unkempt beard. His father’s beard actually reminds him of his doubtlessly disheveled bead-head, which he begins to pat down. 

    “Something I’ve been waiting a long time to see,” Hubert explains. He brushes some hair from his son’s face so he can look at him properly. Despite the scrunched face and squinted eyes, his son was like a shining light, glimmering beautifully in the surrounding darkness.

    “Something you’ve been waiting for,” Johnny mumbles. He props himself up in his bed as he ponders the question. “Did you get mom pregnant?” 

    “What? No!” His father says, appalled that that’s where his son’s mind went. “The Power-Tool Sale at Family Warehouse is finally on. I can get up to 50% off on a power drill if I buy now!”

    “But, why?” Johnny asked, lethargically rubbing his eyes.

    “Because it’s the spirit of the season!” Hubert cries in a hushed voice, “Family Warehouse is always doing sales right when families need power tools the mo-”

    “No, no, dad, not that,” Johnny holds out his hand to stop his father. “I mean, why do we need more power tools, we have plenty already.”

    “But they’re all old and outdated. These new power tools have all sorts of quality of life features and improvements, like the power saw that now has a pizza cutter accessory.” Hubert shows Johnny a photo. It’s an oversized pizza cutter attached to a power saw, exactly as advertised. There’s a very cumbersome display of its utility as well.

    “Dad, you don’t even like pizza, and you could get a regular pizza cutter for cheaper.” Johnny’s words dishearten his father, who rubs his neck awkwardly. He’s quick to get back to it though.

    “I know, but isn’t your generation all about getting the next big product?” Hubert asks.

    “Dad, I’ve been holding onto this piPhone 3 for longer than most people keep a marriage, I’m fine if our power tools are a year or two old.”

    “Oof, sport, so much venom, love isn’t that catastrophic,” Hubert says.

    “Dad, of my 7 friends one of them got a date, and then his girlfriend cheated on him. Romance is a tragedy, that’s why Juliet and Romeo end up dead.”

    “Well that story is a tragedy, but-”

    “We've gotten off topic,” Johnny informs his father, “if you want to go power tool shopping just bring mom with you, she’ll probably find 20 coupons in her purse with her mom magic.” Johnny pulls the covers over himself and lies back down, turning his head away from his father.

    “Johnny, buddy, you know I love shopping with your mother, but I love spending time with you too. You’ve been getting older, and our time together isn’t infinite, so I just want to have fun together while we can. If you don’t want to come, I’ll let that be your choice.” Hubert gets up from the bed, but awaits Johnny’s answer. Johnny is visibly displeased, but some traces of remorse highlight his face.

    “Crack of dawn shopping isn’t my definition of fun, but if I don’t come you’ll just mope around all day. Let’s go.” Johnny casts off his covers and begins getting off his bed.

    “Great!” His father says. He turns on the lights to show he is already dressed, shaven, and in possession of his car keys and wallet.

    “I’m gonna take a sec’, so just wait outside for me.” Johnny waves his father off.

    “Alrighty, dress warm buddy, it’s 35 Fahrenheit outside.” Hubert makes his way out of Johnny’s room with a jolly little gait. Johnny sighs and shakes his head.

    “My dad’s got a screw loose.” Johnny lets a small smile form on his face.