“Have a fun time at Joey’s birthday party!” Those were the last words I heard come out of my mom’s mouth as I was leaving home. I ignorantly assumed I would see her after. 

Marrissa picked me up and drove to the party. She was a nerd, but not your typical nerd. She was not shy, but very energetic and connvival. Even though Joey is one of my anathemas, Marissa convinced me to come to this party with her. The second we stepped into the door we heard, “Finally you guys are here, I’ve been waiting to expound my idea all night. I heard that a man was selling coke for free down by 15th street. It’s only a five minute walk. Let’s all go right now.” Joey has always been into alcohol and drugs; this is one of the many reasons I didn’t want to be at this party. 

When I complained, Marrisa kept repeating to me “It’s ok, just loosen up Lils.” 

I finally gave in and we walked over together. Once we arrived I waited back by the road while everyone else went with Joey down by the water to get the “free” coke. My mom has told me so many stories about bad things happening to people that associate with drug dealers. My heart was racing and I focused on taking deep breaths. However, the only thing that assuaged my fear was the beautiful, pink daffodil that was standing by itself in the grass. When Joey and the others came back Marrisa saw how scared I was and repeated, “Just loosen up Lils.” Joey agreed with Marissa. “Yeah come on Lils, loosen up. In fact, how about you try some of this good stuff.” 

No way. This is exactly why I didn’t want to come. I hate Joey. “I don’t think so, I’ve never done anything like that before” I said, shaking. 

“Don’t be a p*ssy,” Joey said as all his other friends nodded their heads and laughed. 

If I was anything, it was not that. I was disgusted by that word, and I was quite the opposite of it. I was going to prove all of them wrong. Loosen up Lils. I kept hearing the repetition of those words in my head over and over. The feeling of proving people wrong has always been intrinsic for me, and I was going to do it again. “Fine, I will. You know what, give me a whole handful of the pills.” As I stared into their eyes, I had fears that this wasn’t a good idea. Just loosen up Lils, I thought to myself. I put the entire handful of coke in my mouth at once. 

That’ll show them. I’m not a p*ssy. I’ll show them “loosening up.” 

I immediately regretted my decision. I felt dizzy, and my heart was racing 10x more than before. “Marissa, I don't feel too good.” I slurred my words. “

You’re finally loosening up Lils.” 

My heart finally began to slow down. My eyes shut, and stayed shut forever.