A Feeling Called Regret | Teen Ink

A Feeling Called Regret

October 31, 2019
By Anonymous

It was a cold and merciless September morning. Margo and Annie Abbot were sitting in a quaint church at their grandfather's funeral. Their grandfather, John Abbot, had died three days earlier in his sleep. He was a World War II veteran and had struggled with Lung Disease due to exposure of gunpowder.

The girl's mother was sitting next to them. You could see that she was sad just from looking at her emotionless deep amber-colored eyes. She was wearing a navy blue dress with her vibrant curly red hair tied in a bun. Margo and Annie were wearing simple black dresses and black shoes. The girl's red hair was in Dutch braids. Their eyes were fixed on their grandfather's casket, where he was lying there, perfectly still and colorless. Margo and Annie were, both fourteen years old, and identical twins. 

Their father’s name was Steven Abbot. With golden blond hair and piercing green eyes, he looked almost like his father. Steven was not attending the funeral. He decided to wait in the car, parked by a manicured shrub. Silently, he fixed his eyes on the gas meter for hours on end.

He and his father had not spoken in fifteen years, there was silence through all of the Christmas parties and Thanksgiving dinners that the girls had ever attended. Margo and Annie did not know what had caused the silence, and neither did their mother. Steven had never talked about his father to them, and the girls predicted he never would. After the funeral was over, the girls and their mother made their way back to the car. Walking in swift long strides, the girls struggled to keep up with their mother.

A million questions were going through Margo's mind like "Did Dad ever like him," and what happened to “Families stick together”. Annie was thinking about her father and if he was hurt or relieved. She did not know what to think of this whole situation. She was pretty sure she would never know any answers to the questions she asked. So she kept on going.

When they got in the car. Father did not say anything, and he was silent the whole drive home, his eyes fixed on the road ahead.

Back at home, their parents went inside, Margo and Annie decided to give them space and play outside. Margo was walking down the hill to the back yard, and Annie abruptly asked

"Do you ever think we will know?" she said with big worried eyes.

"Know what?" Margo replied.

"What happened to them."

"Lots of things go unexplained in life. It is up to the universe to let us know what to unveil to our ears. Come on, let's go outside to the woods. It will take our minds off what is happening." Margo replied with a worried expression.

Margo had a deep concern for Annie and her wellbeing. Annie absorbed the emotions around her and reflected them in a very profound way. She could even express feelings that she had not felt in her lifetime. Margo was worried that Annie would find out the truth about their grandfather and feel immense pain.

The two girls made their way past their Ivy covered white brick house and down the perfectly manicured back lawn where they had a garden with a diverse variety of fruit. Margo and Annie passed the garden and proceeded on to the garden gate that leads back to the woods. Margo and Annie's parents did not know about this gate; it was covered in roses and Ivy and blended in perfectly within the property's fence. They uncovered the entrance and snuck out.

In the woods the girls proceed to go to their favorite spot, a mossy, lush, place with the only sun in the thicket. The trees around the spot, covered in luscious Ivy. Wildflowers were scattered around and almost formed U shape around the little place in paradise that they had found.

"Hey, do you think we should make a swing?" Annie asked Margo with a hopeful expression.

Margo looked into her sister's eyes and took pity. She had been through so much in these past few weeks. So, they decided to make a swing. The girls found a rope and a slab of wood in the white garden shed. They were located by the secret gate that would make a swing. They brought it back to the lush patch and started to construct the swing.

"I think we are going to have to clear some of the vines for the swing to not get stuck." Margo declared, she brought over some old garden trimmers and started to cut the Ivy back.

 Annie helped too. She cleared the brush around her, content with the decision to make a swing.

It was at that moment that Margo caught a glimpse of an old metal object surrounded by Ivy just above her eye level. She set the garden trimmers down and carefully reached up. Carefully, she grabbed the old metal box from the Ivy. The box was made of silver had the most intricate carvings with a gold lock. It had the date September 2, 1945, engraved in gold.

   "What's that?" Annie said, noticing, she too set her garden timmers down and came over to investigate.

"I think it's some time capsule," Margo replied in astonishment, she put the capsule on a tree stump and tried to pry it open.

"It's locked," Margo said disappointedly.

"Oh," Annie replied, she took the box and placed it in her backpack to bring home and investigate.

 While walking back, Margo was pondering what would be inside the box.

"I think we should wait until we find out what's inside the box and then tell mom and dad. They are handling a lot of stuff right now, and I do not want them to take the box  away." Margo said.

"Ok," Annie replied disappointedly.

The girls made their way back to the house at sunset. The green of the Ivy reflected beautiful rays of golden and rose onto their white brick house. Margo and Annie decided it would be best to hide the box in Annie's room until they could figure out how to open it.

That night after the sun went down, their mother called them down for dinner. Their rectangular dinner table had already set with tablecloth bowls and flowers. She had made Chili with Cheesy broccoli, which was the girls' favorite dinner. 

Their mother came downstairs dressed in her pajamas, and she had let her waist-length hair fall. Father was also in his pajamas. However, he almost looked more awake than their mother. Since marriage, their mother had wondered what happened to their Father and Grandfather. The girl's father did not tell them anything; in fact, at dinner that night, he seemed completely unfazed and acted perfectly normal. This was such strange behavior coming from a man who was immobile after his mother died, the girls and their mother decided.

"How was everyone's day," their mother asked, trying to figure out why their father was so unphased.

   Margo replied, "It was ok, I played outside after the funr-"

   "I did some weed whacking today, and I mowed the lawn," their father said, completely ignoring the fact that he interrupted Margo.

   "I think we should all get some rest and go for a hike tomorrow!" he exclaimed.

   "Goodnight everyone," he said quickly, he abruptly stood up and took his plate to the big kitchen sink. With that, he walked hastily up the stairs, so he would not get questioned.

With inquisitive expressions, their mother, Margo, and Annie remained at the dinner table, bewildered at what had occurred. Why had their father done that? And what could he be hiding?

After the table was cleared from dinner and the girls had gotten ready for bed, Margo decided to stay awake and get ahead on her history homework. She had to take two-column notes on World War Two. Not thinking much of this she opened the book and started reading quietly to herself.

"World War Two started on September 1st in 1939, and it ended on September 2, 19-,"

Something in Margo's brain clicked at that moment in time. The box that she had found in the woods was, in fact, from the end date of world war two! Then, a chill ran over Margo's body, her grandfather had been in world war two, and right across the woods was where his last home. A million things were racing through Margo's head. What if this box held the answer to her grandfather's past?

Then, she remembered something else. In the basement downstairs, she remembered seeing a key. This key was put in a small soup can, out of reach for Margo as a young child. 

In the pitch black of night, she snuck out of her room swiftly. Successfully passing her sister's room first in the hallway then, her parent's room. She crept gracefully down the stairs, careful to not make any creaking sounds. The oak floors were ancient. The full moon streamed through their floor to ceiling windows helping her guide her way to the basement.

"What will I tell Annie, and should I tell her?" Margo said out loud to herself, questioning if her sister would tell their parents. Could Annie handle this mentally? Because their grandfather had died yesterday.

Margo reached the bottom of their furnished basement and went back to the room where the furnace was. She found a small Soup can on the top shelf that she was capable of reaching now that she had grown. Inside, was key with the same date on it from the box. 

She made her way quietly back upstairs to her sister's room, where they would open the box together. Margo knew that secrets could not be kept forever.

"Annie?" Margo said, poking her head inside the door then, proceeding inside.

"Yes, what is it," Annie said still in her trance of sleep.

"I found the key to the box," Margo said with slight hesitation, trying to not startle Annie from her sleeping trance.

Annie jumped out of bed, immediately knowing what happened.

"Do you think it's his?" Annie said with curious eyes.

"Yes," Margo replied slowly.

Annie brought over the box, set it on her desk, and turned the lamp on.

 The two girls opened the box under the warm light of the desk lamp. They put the old key into the box, and with a tiny click, it opened. Inside, the girls discovered a journal and a picture.

"What do you think it's," Annie asked

"Let's look," Margo said cautiously.

Margo opens the journal to find their grandfather's name scrolled along the right side of the leather cover. The first entry was titled "Regret" from September 4, 1945. Margo started to read aloud to Annie quietly.

"I John Abbot have seen a lot of war and sadness, but nothing makes me sadder than shutting my son out of my life-," Margo stopped reading, a tear slid down her face. Annie just sat there with the same look of sadness as Margo.

"Do you think that grandpa wanted to tell dad goodbye," Annie said, a tear also sliding down her cheek.

Suddenly, Margo got up, and she knew what to do.

   "Come on," Margo said hastily to Annie as they left her room. The two walked down the hall, past the front entrance, and to their parents' door. Margo entered first and abruptly turned on the light.

"Mom, Dad?" Margo said, with a purpose

"What time i-" Their mother tried to say.

"Dad, Grandpa regretted shutting you out, Annie and I found an old box with a journal in it from the woods behind the house, and grandpa wrote it."

Their father stared blankly at the two girls, Margo approached their bed and placed the journal and photo. It was a picture from when their father was ten, perched on their grandfather's lap.

"Have a look," Margo said.

Their father started reading, "I John Abbot have seen a lot of war and sadness, but nothing can compare to the thought of shutting my son out of my life-," He stopped, and a single tear slid out of his eye."My father loved me, but I never forgave him,"

The two girls hugged their father so tight, and so did their mother. At that moment in time, everything stopped. A warm light passed through them all, telling them that their grandfather had heard their words.

The next morning, the sun is shining, and the birds are singing. As Steven Abbot was walking down the hill towards his father's grave, giving him a proper goodbye felt essential. Steven placed the photo of himself and his father on the gravestone, and said these words, "I Steven Abbot, will never stop loving you, Dad, no matter what you thought when you were with us on this earth."


The author's comments:

There is more than what meets the eye when it comes to family's relationships. Join Margo and Annie on their journey to uncover their grandfather's trobled past. 


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