Across The Park | Teen Ink

Across The Park

October 30, 2019
By Anonymous

He looked across the park and saw the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen. Instantly, he forgot about everything that his friends had just said to him and turned his attention towards her. He tried to figure out why he was so drawn towards her, but he couldn’t think of anything. He had seen many people with similar descriptions, black hair, brown eyes, average in almost every way, but she was different. Her black hair seemed to shine in the sunlight, and her brown eyes were comforting to look into. Sometimes when he looked into people’s eyes he felt like they were piercing into his soul, like they could read everything that he thought or felt. But this was different. It felt warm and soft, like a blanket that just came out of the dryer, with the fresh smell of fabric softener. But then one of his friends said “So how was my story?” He didn't listen to his friend’s story for obvious reasons, so he just replied, “It’s cool”, and he thought he could go back to staring at the girl, of course he was wrong. “What part was cool?” He just wanted to say “The whole thing”, but that wasn’t good enough. He just said “The ending might need some work, but the rest is great.” He waited until his friend went back to work and then looked across the park, but nobody was there.


The author's comments:

For this set piece I was trying to write a story that is 3rd person limited. I like the transition from the main character’s thoughts to the slightly more comedic part of the story. Also, there is some foreshadowing at the beginning of the story, where the character forgot about what his friends had just said to him.


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