“Don’t forget to grab your homework off the front desk before you leave!”  Mrs.Mink said angrily as the 3rd period bell was ringing. 

Most students were still accepting the fact that summer was already over and it was time to go back to school, especially Remi.  The way her delightfully blonde curls danced in the wind or how her green eyes had this dazzling look to them. 

That summer, the summer we have all been waiting for, the last chance to mess around before senior year was spent with friends and family, sleepovers and late nights. For most kids, it was a great fun filled summer and not that it wasn’t great for Remi, it just wasn’t the most ideal way to spend summer. Her mom died about 3 weeks into summer from stage 4 breast cancer. She was diagnosed when Remi was about 14 years old and even up until the last couple of days Remi still couldn’t process what was happening. Even though she had time to prepare for this situation that was soon approaching, it hit her very hard when she finally did pass.

“Why her?”

 “Why my mom?” Remi would say to herself at night as she sat on the bench outside her room staring off into the stars.

Monday night, She was sitting in that same spot, looking up and just thinking “Mom, I wish you could still be here so I could tell you all about all the new girls on the team, colleges I’m visiting, Car ..”  she stopped herself and gazed up into the stars. She felt the tears streaming down her face, as brave as she was, she still lost it sometimes.

Remi and Carter had ended things about a month ago. She always kept her mom in the loop on what was happening between the 2.Even though they had been close friends pretty much their whole lives and it wasn’t up until the middle of sophomore year that they started to realize the connection they had, She wasn’t always clear what the situation between them was but she was certainly clear on one thing ... that she didn’t want to lose Carter. Even though he was never one to express his feelings to Remi, about anything really, She still tried to open up to him but everytime she did she just didn’t feel right doing so. 

About 4 days before her mother’s passing, Remi was in the hospital room with her mom talking and showing pictures from the concert she just got back from the night before with 

friends. “What's wrong darling. Something’s wrong I can feel it.” Her mom asked concernedly.

“Oh nothing it's fine, don't worry about it  mom just look at these pictures.”

“Honey, what's going on, talk to me, that's what I’m here for.” her mom said.

“I do like him, there's no doubt about it.” She proclaimed to her mom. “Sometimes I feel like im forcing the feelings out of him.” 

“Well darling why don’t you try talking to him and expressing this to him? See if maybe you’re just misinterpreting his actions.”

The thought of how Carter truly felt about her ran through her mind a thousand times a day on repeat. She started to believe that maybe she was the problem.

“Am I the only girl who overthinks things like this?” she would say to herself in her head.

 They both knew that they had something, but there was something off. He cared for her, she knew it, her friends knew it, but she still she couldn’t wrap her head around it.

She told herself later that night that maybe her life would be better off if they were just friends. Maybe they just need time apart.

 July 17th, the day she will not forget.

she sat in her bed and debated whether having this conversation with Carter would do more harm than good, but she came to her senses and decided to talk to him about what was bugging her.

She went to Carter’s house after a long night of thinking. She texted him earlier in the day after practice and asked if she could come over so they could talk.

 As she approached his front door, she felt her stomach twisting, palms begin to sweat and her mouth was dry. He opened the door as she began to knock almost like he knew she was there. 

* Carter opens the door and smirks worriedly*

“Hey Car.”  said Remi, less enthusiastically that she normally is.

She walks in, takes off her shoes, walks towards the kitchen and greets his parents then kneels down to pet Buster, the family dog.

“Oh Remi it's so good to see you!” Carter’s mom began to speak to her.

Remi smiles and starts to speak but her words are cut off before they even came out.

“Alright mom we are going downstairs now.” Carter says insistently in the middle of the conversation.

She looks at Carter and then continued down the steps, that sense of nervousness was back, her palms start to sweat again. 

They got downstairs and sat on the couch, he grabs her hand and looks at her as she stares out the window, unable to look him in the eyes.