Ned woke up with a splitting pain in his side, as if the bedsprings had burst through the fabric and impaled his spleen. He rolled his eyes and sat up, aches and pains were nothing new to Ned, he is 54 and his family history has not been kind to him. In a half asleep state of mind the world seemed foggy and unclear, this is when Ned is happiest. Looking around he sees the wood logs stacked on top of each other to form the loosely protective walls that provide his shelter. Luckily, the summer of 2009 was warm and he did not have to worry about freezing as he had in past years. The sun was just rising as he woke up, fractured beams of light broke through the fading darkness. The gentle morning light made Ned sick to his stomach, it reminded him that he had to do all the morning chores that camp Witikiki required. Ned stepped out of his “Camp Leader” cabin and as soon as the door opened, every orifice on his body was breached by the stale morning air. The cabin sat on a hill which was able to overlook most of the camp and the lake it rested on. For most the sight would be beautiful, the lake and forest shining in the break of dawn, but Ned had lost his excitement and all that remained was the sense of responsibility for the campers.

Ned began his trek around the campground cabins for the kids, making sure everything appeared to be normal, all doors and windows were still shut, signifying no one tried to sneak out in the cover of the previous night. His shoes felt heavy, soaked from the early morning dew, each step seemed to get heavier and heavier and his pace slowed. The smile melted from his face as he reached the last cabin to check and only the first part of his list of chores had ended. The other camp staff were assisting in the day to day routine, but Ned prefered little contact with them, they were unbearably cheery all the time.

“Hey Ned are you finished with the walkaround yet, I can help with it if you’d like?” asked David.

“Not even close, just started so you can go back to the more important breakfast setup” Ned replied, knowing it would get rid of him.

“Alrighty, let me know if you need any help”

“Will do”

The horn in the distance sounded, a Winnebago style horn theme that got more and more annoying each morning it was played. Ned could hear the campers getting up around him, socializing, all looking like zombies roaming in the same direction, the dining hall. He passed some tired campers and threw on his biggest, cheeriest smile.

“Hey guys are you ready for some grub?!” Ned enthusiastically shouted at them.

“Yes Mr. Dunkle” they always replied in a daze.

He ushered in the mass of kids spending a week of their summer at a natural camp into the “great” dining hall. He greeted them all with a smile and some with a high five, trying to make this week as enjoyable as possible. As they were taking their seats in the creaky chairs that lined the poorly graffitied tables, Ned took his place with the other staff on the podium to prepare announcements for the day.

“How are we doing this morning campers?!” exclaimed the most peppy camp leader.

“F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C Fannnnntastic” replied the campers in sloppy unison.

“Today we will be taking a nature hike, but we will we on leadership skills as well!” he announced.

This was Neds favorite activity to lead the campers on, he barely had to do anything but take a quiet walk and occasionally check to make sure no one got lost in the vast wilderness. With wet shoes and half drawn smile Ned took a large stride, from the clearing of the camp and into the thick forest. Ten minutes in and Ned turns around and checks on the number of campers following him, 8, perfect. He continues again, his legs tired from stepping over so many logs and the slight but neverending hills. He sees the wooden post in front of him, the  worn down plaque on it reads “Mile Marker 4”.

“Who can tell me a quality that makes a good leader?” Ned receipts out.

“Uhh loudness?” a young boy said.

“Yea sure thing” replied Ned.

He continued to hike with his group for another hour before he decided they should stop for lunch. Ned sat down on an newly fallen tree and observed that was around him, how the tree leaves rusted in the wind, how in the distance he could see curious rodents hoping to find leftovers, and how the sound of the river was faint but still made its powerful presence known. In this moment of silence he simply observed the group he was leading, how they all were still full of energy, youth, and life, and how they admired the simple things that made life so joyce. He envied the children, their happiness made him think of a time when he was still happy.

In September of 1986, Ned lays in bed with his new wife, the love of his life, Eve. He believes he will spend the rest of his life with her, and be happy til the end time. They would look for small apartments and talk of their future together, knowing they would not have much more than the love they could provide each other, and this was enough for them. The height of his life is what Ned would call this, but as with all heights, the rest was downhill. Eve got sick, and never got better. Ned became unable to help her anymore and he spent his last time trying to make her better, but all of the money in the would couldn’t help Eve.

Ned remembered this event, the happiness juxtaposed with the sorrow and mourning and let out a deep sigh. He stood up and took a short walk in the direction of the sound of the river. It wasn’t long before he found it, the raging water was at a deafening roar. Shivers crawled up Neds spine as the icy spray of the white currents smashed upon the rocks protruding from the surface, soaking his face and clothes. The spray was cold and the water loud, but all Ned could do was step forward, closer to the rock and earth ledge. Ned closed his eyes and listened, the rivers powerful crashing blocked out any other sound that could be heard by man, he could scream and no one would hear, and the icy water dulled the senses, the scent of the wet rocks was soothing. He took another step. He could feel his toes were no longer supported by the ledge, he was balanced on the edge. In that moment he had forgotten about the camp, the kids, his friends, his sorrows, everything that had made him himself had simply disappeared. He felt peace run over his body, not the water, not the rocks, simply peace. (1206)