“Are we there yet?” My little sister, Sarah asked. She kicked the back of my seat and my mom’s seat with her little Twinkle Toes.

“No, Sweetie. We’re not even close.” Mom responded.

“OK.” She continued kicking, this time harder.

“Can you stop?” I asked, turning around. Her eyes narrowed and she started to cry.

“Malissa, really?” My mom took her hands off the wheel and stared at me.

“Come on, Mom. She was annoying me. And, eyes on the road. Grandma wouldn’t want burnt grandchildren to visit,” I joked. She laughed, and turned back around. Sarah kept on kicking my seat, but I didn’t say anything because sleep was calling my name. I closed my eyes and relaxed. The kicking halted on my side, but I could hear it continue on my mom’s side.

My dream started with me on a trampoline. I was jumping, then it flipped over and over and I kept on falling. The trampoline burned under my feet, and my legs crushed onto the hard ground. When I woke up, I was in the hospital.

“My… my legs! I was on a trampoline and...” My mom stood up from a chair in the corner and walked over to me.

“You weren’t on a trampoline, honey.”

“Where’s Sarah?”

Mom sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s all my fault.” She burst into tears.

“What? What happened? It’s not your fault! Just tell me where Sarah is, and I’ll go apologize to her.”

“You don’t get it? Sarah was kicking my seat and I turned around and told her to stop, then the truck behind us… sped up… the back seat was bent in so much that it was pushing the back of yours. Your legs got smashed in the glove compartment…the car started burning… Sarah was in the back. She...” Mom heaved in sighs as she sobbed.

“What… what are you telling me?”

“Sarah was crushed. She died before they could get there.”

I shook my head. “No, you’re lying to me. Sarah is with Grandma, and I’m dreaming…my legs are fine” I lifted the blanket to reveal two burnt red and pink blobs. I gasped. “My LEGS!” I couldn’t think straight. “Sarah…”

“I’m so sorry.” Mom buried her face in her hands. I was crying and screaming and was oblivious to the fact that I was until the nurse told me to calm down.

Dad stroked my hair gently at the funeral. I had a wheelchair and an arm brace. He murmured in my ear.

“Do you want to see her?”

“Her demolished body? No.”

“They took her blood out and stuffed her, so she looks full.” He realized too late that he just said the wrong thing to me. “Oh. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that...” I turned away to hide my tears.

“Why did I say those things to her? Why did I tell her that she was annoying...and to stop. She was not doing anything wrong. If I didn’t draw attention to it, Mom would’ve never taken her hands off of the wheel.”

“You don’t believe that, do you? Some things are meant to happen for a reason.” Reasonable Dad--- always trying to prove things with explanations and quotes. But that wouldn’t work this time. Not for this, at least.

Five years later, I walked to Sarah’s grave.

“Hey, little sis. Just wanted to tell you that your hair looks nice. You’ve always had my hair… the gold ringlets weaved through the dark brown waves. And your eyes are like mine, too. So brown that they look black. Also, your skin was caramel. I hope you remember that you took all of these traits after me. And it was stupid… I was a stupid twelve year old, and I still blame myself for what happened, but I never told Mom because of her first reaction. She’s gone too, now. That’s how much you meant to us. She was so sad, and couldn’t deal… couldn’t deal with the pain. Sarah, I can hardly deal anymore. I can’t even think straight. I dropped out of school, I stopped talking to my old friends… I lie and say that I’m okay to  Dad, but I’m not. And everyday I am reminded of what I lost by the scars and scratches on my legs. If we didn’t argue as much, you would still be here… I hate myself for being such a bad sister. And every year on your birthday, I come here to tell you I’m sorry. If I was better at understanding and I didn’t care that you kicked my seat or turned around-” The wind whooshed around my ear.

“Malissa let it go… let me go.”A voice said. I turned around. No one. It sounded like Sarah.

“Fine… but-” I wiped away my tears. “Happy birthday, Sarah. I hope you are happy where you are.” I said, as if the wind speaking to me was perfectly normal.

I smiled and cried, but out of joy. She was happy. That day, I danced home on my own two feet, because I felt at peace for the first time in a long time.