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Rock!
Climbing was the ultimate sport, even an adventurous woman like Jess and an opinionated man like Eric could agree on that statement. After all, their entire strong friendship circulated around that fact. If not for climbing, the pair wouldn’t be able to stand each other. They still couldn’t stand each other, but at least they enjoyed each other’s presence while on the rocks. Eric’s belaying and beta made up for how infuriatingly precise he was. Jess’s encouragement and resilience to the usual beta helped Eric overcome the fact that she had little care for manners, timing, and just about everything except for her job. They would have torn each other apart if not for their shared love of climbing.
In fact, just about everyone who climbed enjoyed the sport, especially since all the new gear of the 90’s was making the sport much safer. Granted, it was only truly safe if the participants followed the proper safety precautions, which Jess trusted that her belayer, Eric, did. Even then, there was always the chance of the unpredictable, then all one could do was react quickly and hope for the best. For example, when Jess, distracted by the breath-taking view of the valley of rocks, reached up and grasped a loose rock…
“ROCK!” Climbers and belayers scattered under her as a rock the size her head bounced down the massive slab. Distracted once again, Jess’s foot slipped, a common mishap for climbers, especially on Glacier Point Apron, a climb infamous for its small footholds. She fell, but unlike the rock, the rope caught her shortly after she slipped. The rope also happened to pull Eric back into the fall zone of the rock. Jess watched Eric start to run back to safety. At that point she wished she had stopped watching, but even then the scream would have told her all she needed to know.
Jess could not think fast. Not for the life of her, which was inconveniently on the line at the moment. Sure, yelling “Rock!” and ducking from a falling rope wasn’t something she had trouble with. After all, she had practice doing those things, they happened almost every-climbing-day. On the other hand, possibly killing the person who had your life in his rather life-less hands was considered quite uncommon. Therefore, it was no surprise that rather than clinging to the stone and tying herself to a safer point as soon as possible, Jess just hung on the rope trying to piece together what had just happened.
A rock fell. True. Jess also fell. Also true. The rock hit Eric. True. Eric was at least unconscious and wasn’t able to keep her from plummeting a good forty feet. True. After going through these facts again a few times without grasping the full meaning of them, Jess paid more attention to the fact that Eric was at least unconscious and WASN’T ABLE TO KEEP HER FROM PLUMMETING A GOOD FORTY FEET! Jess was hanging on the rope, the rope was being “held” by a dead guy with an ATC (a device that does not offer protection in case the belayer is, well, hit by a rock and knocked unconscious or killed).
The rope must be caught on something, she thought. It probably wouldn’t be long for the “something” to lose its grip on the rope. Jess didn’t want to fall to her possible death, obviously. She started to scramble back to the wall but she felt a jolt as she began to fall. Jess didn’t have time to panic as her world went black.
Thankfully, Jess’s world did not remain black but rather turned a bright hospital white that she knew far too well.
“You were unconscious,” said a voice, “but you’re not now.” Duh.
“Am I okay? Is Eric okay?” Jess asked, panicking slightly as the memories flooded back.
“The Yosar team saved you. Nonetheless, your belayer didn’t let go of the rope even though he was…”
“Unconscious?”
“No, your belayer…” the voice sighed, “was killed.”
Jess wished that the world would go black again. She wished that the voice, probably of a doctor, was joking. Eric wasn’t dead. He couldn’t be dead! If he was dead, then, logically, Jess should be too, but... she wasn’t.
Days passed and the news of the story spread. Jess stayed at home once the hospital let her go. She didn’t want to hear about what happened, not from her friends or various climbing blogs, she knew all that mattered. Eric was dead.
Eric had been climbing for fourteen years. He and Jess met at MetroRock, a popular climbing gym where Jess had asked him for a belay. They got along well and eventually became climbing partners. Eric took belaying very seriously. He even belayed at competitions, but that didn’t really matter in his mind. In fact, it wasn’t much of a surprise to many who knew him that he didn’t drop Jess. He would be proud of himself for not letting go of his break hand even when his life left his body. Although, Jess wasn’t thinking about that.
Jess was thinking about Eric’s future, or how it should have gone if she hadn’t fallen. Eric had a family with two children, two children that would now have to grow up without a father. He talked about how he always wanted to take his kids climbing when they were old enough. He wanted them to excel at the sport, to compete, but most of all he wanted them to enjoy the time they got to spend together. Now, they would never have a chance to be together again, and Jess blamed it all on herself. After all, she knew she could have held on until the rock hit the ground, or at least she told herself so.
Jess thought of Eric’s wife, Martha, and felt even more guilt well up inside her. She had to contact Martha. Eric wouldn’t want his love to go through this alone. It wouldn’t hurt Jess to at least write an email, right?
She opened her computer and logged into Gmail. Immediately, hundreds of notifications popped up. Jess took a shaky breath. She could do this. Suddenly, one message caught her attention, it was from Gripped magazine. Jess opened it, deciding to put off her email to Martha for maybe a bit later.
Dear Ms. Miller,
We heard about the tragic miracle that you experienced and
hoped to request an interview about your belayer, Eric Smith, and his
story. Please contact us if you would like to accept our offer and with
information on your availability.
So sorry,
Leah Morgan
Jess knew that she didn’t want to do the interview, but Jess also didn’t want to sit around feeling pity for herself. She was going to attempt to tell Eric’s story, and how it should have gone, to the world. It was decided as soon as she hit the bright blue button at the bottom of the screen.
Three weeks later Jess found herself in an interview room that resembled a small lounge. Jess believed she was prepared. Maybe she wasn’t quite ready to climb again yet, but at least she managed to go work for the past week. She was a genetic engineer for crops, specifically peas at the moment. Her job had nothing to remind her of Eric. It was perfect, she was focused on everything but the incident, just how she wanted it. Now, it was time to focus on the accident-that-could’ve-been-prevented. That was all Jess had to do, not too hard… right?
The door creaked as a young man, probably in his twenties, entered the beige room with a clipboard. Light fringe fell over his honey-beige face as he sat down. He had a climber’s build, to no surprise. Jess could see him on the wall, figuring out the infamous “short-people-beta” that he would be cursed to follow.
“Hullo,” murmured the man, interrupting Jess’s thought, “I am here to interview you.”
He spoke with a thick accent that Jess couldn’t identify the origins of. Jess wondered whether there was climbing in his homeland. She also wondered if belayers named Eric were killed by falling rocks where he was from.
“Hi, I’m Jess Miller,” Jess answered with a chuckle, “in case you didn’t already know.”
The interviewer raised an eyebrow and proceeded to scribble something on the clipboard. Jess could just imagine the words “bad sense of humor” appearing on the paper.
“Okay, first question. How long had Eric Smith been climbing?” he asked.
“Fourteen years,” answered Jess, “I’d been climbing with him for twelve of them.”
“Had he ever suffered any injuries during those years?”
“He broke his tibia bouldering a couple years ago.”
“What was his skill level?”
“He does 5.11s on lead and occasionally falls.”
“You mean ‘did’.”
Silence.
“Yes.”
“Anyway,” he continued without hesitation, “tell me what happened a few weeks ago.”
Jess sighed and felt her stomach drop. All of a sudden, her olive sweater felt itchy and her black pants cut into her sides. This was the inevitable question she’d been dreading.
“We had just gotten to Yosemite,” Jess recalled, “and we were going to warm up on Glacier Point Apron.”
“Were you the only ones there?” questioned the interviewer.
“No, we were there with two friends, Jake and Nora.”
Jess had completely forgotten about Jake and Nora. They hadn’t been as close to Eric as Jess. Although, they still lost a friend that day, a loss that could have been prevented if she hadn’t fallen.
Jess could picture it from their eyes. The rock is bouncing down the slope. Jess slips and Eric gets pulled into the wall. He starts to run back, but then…
Jess sobbed, she hadn’t even realized that she was crying. The interviewer was trying to calm her down. Why did Jess even try to do this stupid interview anyway?
Through sobs, Jess apologized and bolted out of the building, getting lost a few times on her way out.
Weeks went by, Jess went to work almost every day, even weekends, and eventually she started climbing again. Although, she didn’t climb outdoors or do anything even remotely challenging for her. At least she tried to lead.
“Hey, Jess!” Jake called out from across the gym. His smooth dark hair seemed perfect compared to Jess’s messy blond hair. She felt butterflies flutter around in her stomach.
“H-hi!” Jess yelled, “Do you want to, maybe, climb with me and Nora?”
Jake walked over, already in his climbing harness, before eagerly declaring his reply.
The three of them climbed for a quite a bit and Jess even attempted a 5.10- in that time. Surprisingly, it only occured to Jess once that someone was missing from their group, that someone being dead, and that was when Nora brought it up.
“Feels weird to be climbing without him,” she murmured.
Jess didn’t reply, she knew who she was talking about.
“Who?” asked Jake falsely.
“Eric,” she and Nora said in unison.
Silence followed, a loud silence that screamed that maybe they shouldn’t have brought up Eric’s death.
“Uh, you’re up, Jess,” Jake interjected to break the silence, “Tie in.”
Jess threaded the rope through her harness as her eyes searched the route in front of her. Colorful purple holds jutted out of the overhanging wall.
She felt strange. It might have been that she hadn’t even touched caffeine at all that week or it could have been because of the mention of her dead friend. That wouldn’t stop her now.
“‘Kay, I’m tied in,” she said, checking her knot again just in case.
“Climb when ready,” instructed Jake.
Jess put her hands on the colorful holds and replied, “Climbing.”
When Jess climbed, or Jake, or Nora, or anyone for that matter, she felt a fluidity in the climb. One could feel that they would put their foot high, or flag it to the right, but they wouldn’t think about it, they would just do it. That flow wasn’t interrupted till there was a move that required much thought, or the climber fell.
Jess did not expect to fall on a 5.8, and Jake most definitely didn’t expect her to fall. Her foot slipped, a common forgivable mishap. Unforgivable, was the fact that Jake let the rope slip through his hand because he wasn’t paying attention to his climber.
Jake apologized a million times, but she didn’t pay attention to him over the pain caused by her plummet. Jess had a higher chance of forgiving herself over the death of Eric than forgiving him. She was brought water and ice but nothing made her feel better. What felt like an hour but was probably only a few minutes passed before Jess was put on a bright red stretcher and carried away.
She was given painkillers and told to rest, she would get an X-ray soon but now she needed to sleep.
Jess supposed that the painkillers she was given she also consisted of sleeping pills. She soon fell into a sleep full of dreams of falling, falling, and falling.
It was another lucky miracle that wasn’t lucky at all. Jess left the hospital with a twisted ankle.
Jess never wanted to climb again. That was a lie she told herself to cover the fact that she was scared. She was terrified. Fear consumed her at even the mention of the sport, followed by guilt. Although, in reality Jess itched to feel the rock against her raw hands again, she would just never admit it.
Her friends, Jake no longer being one of them, could tell, and they were getting fed up with her excuses.
A few months after she had healed, a minivan covered in climbing stickers pulled into Jess’s driveway and Nora jumped out.
“We’re going climbing and you’re coming!” she shouted as she aggressively knocked on the door. Her dark hair was tied back in a messy bun that only became messier the harder she slammed her hand on the door. She was furious, she had had enough of Jess and her pity party. It was far past time for Jess to get over her stupid guilt and fear.
Jess creaked open the door, smiled sadly, and greeted Nora, pretending to ignore her request.
“I like your outfit!” Jess stalled. She was wearing dark green sweatpants and a t-shirt while Nora had on a teal tank top and leggings, climbing clothes.
“So, are you coming?” Nora asked.
“I don’t think I wan-”
“Shut up! You’re coming and you’re going to climb! Now go and get your stuff.”
An hour later, Jess, Nora, and the rest of the passengers in the vehicle arrived at Yosemite.
“C’mon guys, Jess is going first,” Nora stated as she dropped a rope that was once orange in front of Snake’s Dike, a 5.6 that they had done countless times.
“Don’t worry, I won’t drop you,” Nora whispered as everyone was setting down their things.
Jess smiled weakly. She trusted Nora, but there were other things she was worried about.
“Thanks,” she whispered back.
“Don’t thank me yet.”
“Am I on belay?”
“Belay on.”
“Climbing.”
“Climb on.”
Jess enjoyed climbing, but she completely loved feeling the sharp rock against her smooth hands again after what seemed like an eternity. She struggled not to let herself be absorbed by fear and guilt and fear of feeling guilty again. It was unreal how quickly she was able to forget all her thoughts before the climb.
One clip, two clips, three clips, all the way to eight clips and then the anchor. Jess had trouble on the surprisingly challenging slab climb. That’s what happens when one doesn’t climb for a while.
“Nice job!” shouted Nora and her words finally got through Jess’s head. She cried silent tears of joy as she was lowered. She did it, and it was completely fine, at least until her foot hit a loose rock on her way down.
“ROCK!” it felt all too familiar. The rock bounced down and Jess squeezed her eyes shut.
A few moments passed.
“How did an acorn get up there?!” someone below shouted and laughed a deep laugh.
Slowly Jess opened her eyes, paused, and laughed. She laughed because she made it, because nobody was hit with a rock, and most of all, because the rock was really nothing but an acorn. Laughing felt almost as good as climbing again, almost.
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This story is inspired by the story of Peter Terbush but these events did not actually occur.