Dear Josh,                                                                     January 31st, 2017

I know you will never receive this letter, but I need to write to you. I recently lost my closest friends, but not in the way you think. No one died, but it probably would have been easier if they had. You see, I made a small mistake. I had picked up the slack for a project that was incomplete two days before it was due. I finished it off, but the next day I was accused of not letting anyone do any part in the project. This was not the case. I brushed it off and we presented the project. We were able to make it seem like we were as close as ever. They lied about who did all the work, and then I won an award. Well, WE won an award. It was an award for all the work I had done. They took all the credit and ignored me yet again. We used to have a tradition where we would wear the shirts we received the previous day to school. I participated, but no one else did. My two best friends practically shunned me, and have started turning all my friends against me. This year I was at my happiest, riding the high from finding a group of friends who actually liked me. Who didn't find me strange, who made me feel good about myself? Then I plummeted. Everyone got quiet all of a sudden, and I was more alone than ever. Today we had an emergency half-day, the snow was coming down in heavy layers, and it was becoming unsafe. We were all given full periods of lunch. Now if you don't know this we have 20 minutes to eat on a normal day, on delayed openings, and special days we are given 40 minutes and are combined with the other half of our grade. I was excited because I would get to spend time with my friends who weren't in my usual lunch. But as I soon as I sat down at their table, my best friend whispered in my other friend's ear, and they all got up and moved. When I walked over to the new table it was already full, with no room for me. I walked over to my elementary school friend's table and sat with her, but my appetite was gone. I have to go to my first rehearsal, wish me luck.

Sincerely, Sarah 

Dear Josh,                                                                      February 1st, 2017

My first rehearsal was a flop. We only have 3 more before the performance, and the music is tricky. Carolina, who was one of the people who started my fall into loneliness, was there. I realized I was surrounded by people who are and always will be better than me. It caused me to spiral into a panic attack, it is getting a bit hard to write this letter as I am afraid I will spiral again. I will write again once I calm down a bit.

Sincerely, Sarah

Dear Josh,                                                                     February 5th, 2017

I recently found this new song, and I feel as if you would like it. It's Peter Gabriel's Heroes. I like to just lay down, and listen to it. It is quite a depressing song but when you need music like that, it helps. Also, Neverland Reprise tells the story of Peter Pan in a lovely way, but that one too is depressing. If you couldn't tell I'm not in a very good state right now but don't worry about me, I'll be okay. Anyway, I should be doing homework but I'm enjoying talking to you more. So, what's new with you. Oh right, nothing. You are a journal and will never actually respond. I have to go.

Sarah

Dear Josh,                                                                        March 12th, 2017

I'm sorry I haven't really had time to write to you. I hope you don't mind. If you do, I apologize. Nothing new has happened to me, but I made a new friend. Her name is Emily; she is super nice but can be a bit strange. I am cautious around her because I don't really trust anyone but you right now. If anyone ever found out that I write to you, I would be mortified. Not because you aren't cool, but because I'm not exactly cool. I was recently invited to my friend's party, but I turned down the invitation because I was in the city that day. I was told you live in the city, but I'm not going to stalk you, don't worry. I should probably start studying for my midterms.

Sincerely, Sarah

Dear Josh,                                                                          April 19th, 2017

My birthday is in exactly two months from today! Yay! But I feel as if this one won't be special. Although I am getting my permit, I can't drive for another year. I hope something interesting happens but I don't think anything will. Nothing really happens here. Things with Emily are going great, she is super nice but we have only hung out outside of school once. Anyway, its like 2 AM and I have to be up in 4 hours! Gotta go!

Sincerely, Sarah     

Dear Josh,                                                                           April 20th 2017

Today is Carolina's birthday, and because I don't want my year to get any worse, I have to kiss up to her majorly today. Who knows what could happen if I don't? Anyway, there is a cabaret thing at my school and I am deciding to sign up for the first time. It's on my birthday so I have plenty of time to prepare for it. I don't know what I will sing, but I will figure that out soon. I have to go rehearse for orchestra. Write to you soon.

Sincerely, Sarah

Dear Josh,                                                                              May 1st 2017

Carolina's Birthday went well, I hope I'm on her good side now. I decided to sing Back to Black by Amy Winehouse. Almost everyone knows that song. I hope you can come to watch. That would be a great birthday gift, but that's never going to happen. You don't even know I exist, and even if you did, why would you care. Anyway, if you do come I'm performing in the cafeteria.

Sincerely, Sarah

Dear Josh,                                                                            June 4th, 2017

I apologise for not writing in nearly a month. I was bogged down with school work and practising for the cabaret. I really hope you can come, though how would you find out about it? Anyways. I am sorry this is short nothing has really happened to me recently.

Sincerely, Sarah

Dear Josh,                                                                           June 19th 2017

Tonight, is the night. Tonight, is the night I face my fears and perform in front of my class. Oh, it’s also my 16th birthday, but after what happened this year I don’t really feel like celebrating. Even if I did have a big party who would I invite? My family? Emily? I’m more focused on taking the permit test. If you see this, which I know you won’t, I go on at 6:30 in the cafeteria if you want to come watch.  Tomorrow is my last day of sophomore year and when I start my junior year in the fall I’m not sure if I will have the time to write any more letters. I will try my hardest to write in the fall but I am unsure if this file will be saved. Goodbye.

Sincerely, Sarah