“I only have one question, but before I get to that, we need to start from the beginning.”

I have always loved going out with friends, doing things we’re not supposed to do. It feels like a high I never want to get rid of. The thrill excites me. The adrenaline of almost getting caught makes me second guess myself, but then I want more. I stood atop my best friend, Laura’s, rooftop in her car, looking up at the dark sky, feeling the piercing wind on my face with my hair let down as she speeds down the highway. I see from a distance a shadow of a dark car, hidden underneath a bridge.

“Slow down!” I yell, letting Laura know of the almost ticket we could get. We’re crazy, but we’re careful.

She looks over at me, relief washed all over her face. “Leah, your 20/20 vision is a lifesaver.”

Two days later.

It’s Friday night, barely 10 o’clock. Rumors of a party have been going around, and Laura and I plan on attending it. No questions asked.

Quickly, I say goodnight to my parents, heading straight for my room. The Christmas lights I hung up last year shine brightly above my headboard, spreading out so that it goes all around the corners of my room. I spent 3 hours changing all the tiny light bulbs so that they were neon purple. My dad helped in hanging them up considering how short I am. My sky blue walls really make the lights stand out. On the right side of the wall, it’s entirely filled with pictures of me and Laura, of all our favorites moments with each other.

I jump to lay on my bed, landing on my back, sheets definitely not made. I think a bed looks more comfortable that way, messy. I check my phone to see that I have time to kill. I look around my room to see the mess of dirty, or clean, clothes scattered across the floor. Empty and half empty water bottles are found everywhere, and my desk from this morning with a mess of hair and makeup products.

Cleaning that would be nice, but I just don’t have the energy to. Besides, my room magically becomes clean when I get home from school, all thanks to my mom.

I see that it’s almost midnight, so I press my ear to my closed bedroom door, listening out for my parents and any other distraction that could cause a wedge in my plan. Silence.

A smirk appears on my face. The best night of my life is about to begin. Or so I thought.

I quietly open my window, instantly feeling the crisp, cool night air. Fall has always been my favorite season. The way the leaves change colors and pile onto the ground give me such a feeling of contentment. It’s the kind of rare happiness that only lasts three seconds. I look down to make sure the ladder I had set up earlier is still there. Grabbing my bag and a light sweater, I start down for the ladder. Creeekkk. I curse at the old ladder. I rush down as fast as I can. Going slow will only make it appear to sound louder.

I begin heading towards the sidewalk while putting my headphones in. Opening YouTube, I shuffle my favorite playlist. “The Night We Met” begins to play and I feel a rush of calmness travel throughout my body, almost as if the music is controlling my body and the way that I feel. Doing this, listening to the melody of the song, calms any nerves I have. Knowing there’s a slight possibility that I could get caught by my parents, although excites me, also worries me.

The first time I ever snuck out, my nerves were on overdrive. Now that i’ve done it a couple of times, I know exactly how to calm myself down.

I hear the blaring of loud music and I know I’m close. I text Laura asking if she’s almost there. Seeing her car parked across the street answers my question and I rush towards it, knowing she’d be in there waiting for me to arrive.

“Are you ready?” Her famous mischievous grin appears.

I smile from ear to ear, “Do you really have to ask that?”

As we walk up towards the house, side by side, I imagine what could happen. Will I make new friends? I doubt this, Laura has been my only close real friend since I can remember. Will I experience anything new? I shake the thought away, I don’t know if I want to. I have everything I need and want right now. I don’t need to mess that up. Although, just being here could do exactly that.

An hour has passed and I’ve been sitting on this couch, bored out of my mind.  It’s one of those fancy black leather love seats that most likely costs more than an average teen’s car. Laura ran off with someone who I did not recognize, but I don’t want the night to end this dreadful, so I decide to go look for her. We’ll finally be able to have some fun. Together.

I walk towards a big crowd of people, and I suddenly feel a hard pang on my head, but before I pass out, the last thing I hear is the sound of everyones gasps and murmurs.

I wake but don’t open my eyes. What I feel underneath me is very familiar, but so uncomfortable. I finally decide to check my surroundings and open my eyes. My assumptions were correct. I am on the roof of whoever’s house this is. Crap. Crap. Crap. My thoughts are completely jumbled, I can’t think straight. Who the hell put me up here? I slowly start to stand up, careful not to scratch myself on the surface of the roof.

I know I must’ve not been out long because I still hear the loud music from the party going on. I have a better view now, and looking closer, I see a reflection of a bright blue light so I carefully walk towards it. Walking on the roof is not as easy as it seems, the way the roof is built has my feet at an odd angle. I’m close enough to see that it’s a pool, and around it are tons of people talking, laughing, dancing, and anything else people do at parties.

“ HEY LOOK!” Someone yells at the top of their lungs. All the attention is then directed towards me as everyone turns their heads. Laughter fills the backyard. Normally, I’d be embarrassed by this, but instead, I take this as an opportunity. It’s my time to finally have some fun. I do the only thing that comes to mind, and before I decide against it, my feet are already moving.

Making sure there’s enough distance, I get a good head start and begin a full out sprint, jumping on the edge of the roof to get enough power in order to make it into the pool. Adrenaline and excitement courses through my veins and I feel alive. In that moment, all I could think was how good it felt to feel this kind of energy. Never did I think anything bad would happen. It all just sort of happened quickly and I didn’t give myself time to process what exactly I was doing.

“Three years ago today, I jumped off of a roof, expecting to land safely in a pool like in the movies. Although I did land in the pool, it turned out to be the side that was 3 feet deep. I am 5’3”, so you can imagine how that turned out for me.”

“I have been paralyzed from the waist down ever since then. I regret that whole night. Every other single moment that I experienced without repercussions were because I was lucky, but they weren’t worth it. I didn’t know it then, but I had a problem. I was an adrenaline junkie. Key word, WAS.”

“I was exactly like every one of you.” I tell the group of teen misfits.

“That is why I am here today. To explain to all of you that it is not worth it. That ten second feeling of adrenaline is not worth the price you’re going to have to pay someday. I mean, look at me, do you want to end up like me?”

I see the looks on their faces. I already know what they’re thinking, because I had the exact same thoughts. That’s never going to happen to me. This girl is crazy. I look at them once more, a very stern look on my face so they know I’m being completely and utterly serious, and I ask…

“Do you want to end up like me?!”