Have you ever thought how if events were played out differently, your future would’ve been affected? I wish I could’ve seen what was going on. Maybe I could’ve stopped it. And I wouldn’t feel guilty.

I miss my queen bed with rose pink silk sheets. Waking up with mouth-watering waffles, eggs and toast on Ma’s fine china. Our 5,000 square foot house covered with the softest carpet. My sister Kristin and I used to always be together in that house. Now, everything has changed.

It has been three months since that dreaded day in late October, 1929. Living in Ohio, my father used to be Vice President of Marketing for a major cosmetics corporation. We had lots of money, and very luxurious lives. But, when we lost all our savings, our house got foreclosed on, and my Pa lost his job, we had no clue what to do. It took every penny to rent a very small house outside Mansfield, OH, after we were forced out of our other house in Columbus. I still haven’t gotten used to the change.

My whole family hasn’t eaten very well lately. Kristin, my 17 year old sister, was a star athlete and team captain in two sports. Because she has lost so much weight and has such heavy anxieties, she doesn’t play any sports any more. Kristin and I used to be very close, considering we are only a year apart in age, but now, we barely ever talk. It’s like the Depression but a wall between us.

My Ma’s face has become sunken in, always having purple bags under her eyes. Her beautiful brown hair is turning gray at an alarmingly fast rate. She has become so skinny; you could mistake her golden tan arms and legs for tree branches. But my Pa, he has been affected most of all. Not only has his appearance deteriorated, but also his mind and emotions. He doesn’t have confidence anymore, and he won’t look us in the eyes very often. The stock market crash took a lot from us, but most of all, my Pa’s dignity.
“Ma, why is Pa so sad and barely ever talking to us?” I said. “Katherine, he is very stressed because we don’t have any money” she explained. “He feels guilty that we live in poverty”. “But why? We all still love him and we know it’s not his fault”, I uttered, my eyes glazed over with tears. Ma wiped my face and said “He feels it’s his job to keep an income and provide for us. That’s just how society is today”. “Well-l-l, can I go look f-for a j-job?” I tried to say. “Katherine, your only 16 and you’re not old enough to get a job. Even if any of us could find one, it would only upset your father even more, to have a woman providing for his family” she added. Just then I opened the hallway door and looked at him. He was just sitting there, a blank look on his face while reading an old newspaper. “Ok Ma”, I said as I closed the door. ”I’m sorry”. She hugged me as I was still crying. I hugged her back and we stood there for what seemed like forever.

Three weeks later, our hunger still growing, still no money, and my Pa jobless, a commotion awoke me in the night. “Carrie, we can’t live like this anymore. I can’t live with myself! Look what I’ve done to our family”. Pa said. “John, this is no one’s fault. We can do this together. You need to stay strong, for Kristin and Katherine” she replied. Then he started to sob. “Why did this happen to us Carrie? What did we do wrong to deserve this?”

The next day, when we were all just relaxing, the rain started to pour, hard. As we ran for the buckets to catch the water from our leaky roof, I noticed lightning in the distance. Not a big deal I thought, it looks far away. But little did I know it would change my life forever.

As the storm got closer, so did the violent, blue streaks of lightning. Suddenly, the lightning hit a tree that was right next to our shabby little house. We heard the crackling of the tree trunk, as it began to fall. We ran outside, our feet sloshing in the puddles, and just our luck, the fiery tree fell right onto the house, and it too caught fire. The flames engulf our house as if it were doused in gasoline. Everything we had was in that creaky old house. We didn’t have much, but now what we used to have turned to ashes, as did my hope. I burst into tears. To my surprise, my Pa hugs me. I turn my head to look at Ma, but she too, was hugging Kristin. I can’t believe what just happened; it’s as if something is out to get us.

Since that day we have been scavenging and going from place to place, just looking for somewhere to temporarily reside. We managed to grab a few clothing items, personal valuables, and the few dollars we had left, before the fire took over our house. Yesterday we found a small barn; no longer lived in by animals, or people. It had hay to keep us warm, and, thankfully, we found three cans of food!

Ma and Kristin went towards the town that was about five miles away, looking around for anything that could help us. Pa and I stayed at the barn to clean it up, but I didn’t feel like cleaning, so I sat in the grass outside the barn a few yards away. Pa walked past me into the woods, and returned about five minutes later carrying a rope. I asked him what it was for and he replied “I just have to tie up some loose ends” he said in a depressing tone. I figured he was just back in his bad mood again, for I see why. “Can I help in any way?” I asked. Then he uttered, “No Katherine, just stay here. Everything will be ok soon. You’ll see”. “Ok, I love you” I said. He said nothing back. Just pure silence.

Ten minutes later, Kristin and Ma returned from town. “Kristin, stay here with Katherine” Ma said. She sat next to me and said nothing. We’ve been growing farther and farther apart since this all started. “NOOOOOOOO! John NOOO!” We heard Ma screaming at the top of her lungs. The scream is so blood curdling, and I get a terrible feeling. We ran to her. I fell to my knees. There he was, dangling off the ground, the sun shining on his dead face, Ma bawling at his feet. I will never get that image out of my mind.