Have you ever heard 10,000 children screaming for their mothers and fathers while on a train, not knowing when they will see them again? Heard the cannons go boom? Save 9,000 tall ungrateful men and never have your story told? Or lost the only thing that matters to you? Well, this was my life, my story, my legacy.

It was the morning of September 1, 1939, the beautiful blue birds were chirping as if there were no problems in the world. The sky was bright blue, almost as blue as  my sister Mary´s eyes. That morning I got my sister and I ready for school as I braided her long blonde hair in my room which was small and cramped. We were at my vanity which had simple makeup and home made perfumes I had made with my mother. They reminded me of when we went to france. ¨You and your sister look absolutely beautiful¨ said mama as we walked down the stairs as she was cooking breakfast.

 ¨ Thank you, what is for breakfast?¨ my sister asked. 

Mama was listening to the radio that morning, when suddenly the scariest thing happened. We hear our prime minister Neville Chamberlain say that we have declared war on Germany. And that we would be transporting children to the countryside, the British ambassador in Germany said that they will be bombing the larger cities. He said that we will start loading the  children on the trains at 8:00 am this morning. 

¨Mom I don't want to go. I don't know the other children I will be with, and what if the person I am with is  a secret spy? I will only go if Virginia goes with me,¨ said my sister in an angry voice with her arms crossed and her nose scrunched up. 

¨You heard Chamberlain say that only children can go and since I am 18 I can't.  Mama it is not fair for father to be allowed to fight and I can't,¨ I said in a calm voice until I brought up father, then my voice was aggressive yet shaking. After the message was broadcasted, they announced school had been cancelled, which meant that we would be heading straight to the train station.

While we were walking,  I kept seeing posters that said ¨female spies, know everything, hear everything, say nothing.¨ I exclaimed eagerly, ¨I can become a spy, and not have to make mens clothing!¨ 

¨Why don't you grab the flyer and we will take it home and you can write to the address and let them know you are interested. Mama said this like she was disappointed. 

But I still grabbed it. I still to this day don't know why she was disappointed though. When we made it to the train station something wasn't right, it was eerie almost as if someone was watching me.

When we got to the station we had to put Mary on the train as soon as possible because there were rumors that Germany would be here in two days time. As we started to leave I saw a tall, mysterious man, he had black hair, and a long trench coat almost to his ankles, he had brown combat boots on, and his eyes were locked on me. When I looked over at him I could hear a train coming. I glanced over and Mary had fallen onto the tracks. I heard screaming. My stomach turned into knots. I could hear my heart starting to race. 

As the train started to come into the station I dashed towards the tracks and reached over, it seemed like the train was going a hundred miles per hour, but I jumped just in time because If I would have waited Mary would have been dead. The train was fifty feet away, and she hopped on my back, and I leaped out of the tracks. When I looked over my shoulder the man in the trench coat walked toward me and handed me an envelope. They called the initial of our last name and we had 2 minutes to say our goodbyes.

 When I hugged my sister she whispered in my ear. She said, ¨Go become a spy, for mama, for dad, for me.¨ 

¨No, I am not, I am not risking our families lives to do what I want to do,¨ I said sadly. But by that time she had to go on the train. I didn´t know if I would see her ever again, or if I would see her in five years or in six months. I didn´t know if she would get killed or help children hide from the concentration camps or if she would hide herself. This was definitely the hardest part of my whole life.

As we walked through the tunnel, I talked with mama about my fears for the war and how they will be rationing food and how we will be carrying gas masks every minute for what could be the rest of our lives. But when we reached the bus stop and got on, mama convinced me to open the envelope 

It said, ¨Dear whom this letter concerns, you have been recruited, to serve for the S.O.E or Special Operations Executive, as a female spy. You will start training on November 5, 1939. You will be in training for 3 months. You will be training in case you get caught you must only tell your loved ones otherwise it can result in death. Female spies, know everything, hear everything, say nothing.¨

Of course, I planned on volunteering but I didn't think I would be recruited. I thought that I would be able to say goodbye to mama and father, but I was wrong.  Mama planned on going to hide tomorrow from the Nazis at sunrise, which meant  she would go without me and since it is dark she would be going to bed. That night when we got home I had a lump in my throat and what felt like a stake in my heart, my eyes blind with water, crying to my mother saying ¨I don't know if I should go, I would be putting the whole family at risk. I want to go to serve my country, but I don't want to leave my family. I don't want to put your safety at risk. On one hand, my country is at war with Germany and needs all the help they can get, but on the other hand, there is Mary, there is dad, there is you.¨ 

¨Your family needs you to do this. Your country needs you to do this. If your sister and I and maybe even your father, passes away, we know you did this for us. You risked our lives to save the future of our family. ¨ My mom said this the most kind and loving way she had ever spoken.

 ¨Okay, fine I´ll go. But only for you guys,¨ I said happily. 

The next day I put on my grey plaid pencil skirt and blazer. I hate wearing these clothes. They limit  how much you can move, but it will be my uniform. I grabbed my father's old workout gear. And carried some of the cows hay (which is like 50 pounds each). I spent all day working out doing pull ups, squats, push ups, and endless exercises.  I worked day after day, after day. And on the days I wasn't working out I was taking care of the cows. Which we got while we were taking Mary to the station. I was volunteering taking blankets and was working to take care of infants all while their parents were in hiding. I did this all for 3 months straight until the day I began my official training as a spy. 

The day I was walking to the train station all these thoughts were racing through my head, my heart was pounding, my stomach was in knots. It really only takes 15 minutes but that day it felt like an eternity. As I got to the train station I had a train ride for 2 hours to the location I would be training at.

 As I got off the train there was a man holding a sign with my name on it, he looked like the man in the trench coat. He drove me to this huge mansion, it was red brick with statues near the front gate, green landscaped gardens, roses galore. I had never seen such a beautiful house. 

As he led me into the home, a tall man in a military uniform shook my hand.  ¨Welcome to my humble home, no one will suspect that we will be training female spies and soldiers here,¨ The man said while shaking my hand.

 I am sure he thought that I was agitated, but I really wasn't. I was just tired. I finally got there at 8:00 pm.

The next morning there was a green jumpsuit on my bed. As I looked out the window The flowers were vibrant, the sun was shining, and the birds were chirping. As I headed downstairs for breakfast I was greeted by women who were eager to serve their country.

Later that day, they put me in a worn out dress. 

Two men in military uniforms grabbed me by the arms and escorted me to a prison chamber with a pale of water. 

I am screaming, shouting, ¨no, no, please don't!¨ 

They grabbed my head and aggressively slammed my head into the water as I resisted. They brought my head up after a minute. ¨Who are you, who do you work for?¨ They said this in a German accent.

 ¨ I already said I will say nothing.¨ 

They grabbed my head for a second time. Except this time, my head was underwater for three minutes. When all of a sudden, all I could see was black, I couldn't hear anything, and I felt like I was dead.

They lifted my head out of the water gently, A paramedic rushed in, and she was pounding on my chest. My eyes went from black tunnels to watery lights. I felt my mouth spewing filthy water I had inhaled, while my head was in the pale of water. 

The paramedic and soldiers carried me to my bed and let me rest.  I rested all day. I didn't eat, or didn't drink any water. 

The next morning I put on the same green jumpsuit, It was the same drills every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday was exercising making sure I was fit enough, and Wednesdays and Fridays were self defense. It was the same thing for three months straight, when finally I got to go in a small cramped plane that was meant for transporting wounded soldiers. I rode in this plane from Britain to France.

When I made it to France I had to find a place to stay, lucky enough when I was walking to find the nearest hotel I ran into a childhood friend of mine.

 Her name was Patricia, she had short brown hair, she was tall, and had a wealthy husband. 

We caught up on what we have been doing since she moved.

 About 10 minutes into the conversation I asked if I could stay with her and her husband. I had to tell her that I am a spy, and that she shall tell no one, not even her husband who works for the British military. I tell her that I do not know how long my stay will be. 

That night when her husband came home he began to teach me how to use a telegram, so that I can send telegram messages to the principal of the organization. 

That night German soldiers began to flood every corner and lined the borders of different towns and cities asking for your identification folder.

The next morning I needed to get to the grocers to make medicine from vegetables and fruits. 

 As I walk to the soldier to give him my identification, I see a woman and her 5 children stiff as a board, blue, and black gun wounds on their chest and forehead. I assume that it was because they were jewish or they lied about their identity. 

I tried to gulp down the lump in my throat, because I was both jewish and lying about my identity. 

The S.O.E never told me to look in the folder and never told me my fake german name. Luckily when I was little I took german. My fake name was Heidi Müller. 

¨Wie heißen sie?” which means What is your name in german. The soldier said this in a deep voice. 

¨Ich heiße Heidi Müller,¨  I said in a confident voice even though I was paralized in fear.  The soldier reached down for his gun and pointed it right at me. 

The soldier pulled his trigger and shot the dead body laying in the road.  ¨Ich sah sie sich bewegen.¨ This means I saw her move in German. The soldier exclaimed this in a monotone voice. He guided his hand toward the trail and said ¨Sie sind Ma'am¨ here you are ma'am in German, the soldier said.

 I walked across the frozen creek and saw miniature fish swimming in the cold deep water. Town is about 5 minutes away but when there's snow on the ground and you are shivering, when you have no mittens and no winter coat. it feels like an eternity. At the farmers market I am given my rashing sheet and my rations. A few blocks down there was a flea market where  I could possibly get fabrics and decor. As I walked I saw this really nice brown leather briefcase. 

As I go to open it the lady stops me. ¨non tu ne dois pas l'ouvrir!¨ No, you mustn't open it. She whispered at me. 

 ¨Pourquoi?¨ Why? I said in a gentle curious voice. 

¨parce que c'est un télégramme,¨ Because it is a telegram. The lady said in an urgent voice. ¨8 euros,¨ the women said. 

As I grabbed the euros out of my pocket I heard a German soldier shouting as I rushed towards the sound. I saw a little boy being questioned by the German soldier. I put the euros back in my pocket, and ran behind him. I punched the back of his neck to make him fall down.

 The child thanked me but I just ignored him.

 I told him to get on my back just like I would do piggy back rides with my sister. I took him to the nearest home and asked if they were in the resistance, I told them that he needed a home for the moment. 

The young man wanted  to know who I was,  though I really wanted to tell him, but I just remained silent. The young man took him in and gave him some hot soup. 

The next morning I bought the telegram from the woman, from the previous day.  After I got home, I found out I have the day off. I used this day to learn how to  use  the Telegram. On my telegram different  sounds ment different letters, and when you added those into words you had a whole conversation.

 I did the same thing for 6 years,  tricking  German soldiers, making medicine for people in hiding, and sending telegram messages to the  principal of the organization I work for.  I did this all the way until  D-Day. 

The night before D-day, I got a message from my boss saying that I need to go to the air force base called  Évreux-Fauville Air Base. after Patricia drove me there. I got in the plane and saw a lot of women strapped in parachute gear ready to jump out of the plane. I told the person strapping me in my gear, ¨I never learned how to jump out of a plane!¨

 He just glared at me like I was from a different planet. 

As we started to take off, butterflies started to dance in my stomach. It took about two and a half hours to get to normandy. I had about 10 pounds of gear on and a scratchy black jumpsuit, so I wouldn't be seen, though the odds of that are very rough because I have A gigantic parachute on my back. As they opened the back of the plane, I felt the impact of the wind on my chest.

 They count our names one by one, thoughts racing through my head. What if I crash into a tree? What if German soldiers are out after curfew? What if they shoot me? As the second to last woman jumped out of the plane, my heart hammered in my chest. I felt like it's going to escape my body somehow. 

He calls my name, ¨Heidi Muller,¨ he counts down from five. ¨Five, Four, three, two,¨ 

just before one I choked ¨Wait! I can't do this,¨ I said in a petrified voice.

 ¨ So, you have been hiding for five years and you choose right now to quit?¨ The soldier asked me. 

Before I could speak he pushed me, I couldn't scream from fear because soldiers would have known where I was and what I was doing. I screamed but instead of doing it loudly, I whispered. I saw what Normandy looked like from above. I saw families dying of hunger because they lost their homes during the war. 

As the fellow women were helping people with boarding up businesses and homes, I was teaching women how to fight. How to stab a German soldier without putting yourself in danger, how to shoot cannons, and bazookas brought by one of our strongest allies, the United States Of America.

As U.S troops storm the borders and coasts I hear German soldiers screaming. 

As I am running to fight, a German soldier grabs me by the shoulder and quickly takes his belt off, as he is doing this I hear the frist cannon go boom. “Einer!” One! The German soldiers exclaimed in the middle of town. And before two I feel his belt slap my back, he does this 29 times before I am escorted to the nearest concentration camp. The soldier asked for my identity and every time I said no they would beat and torture me. We did this all the way until noon. 

By one o’clock every soldier was off fighting but the guards in the guard towers. The only place we couldn't be seen were the restrooms. But there was no way out. The floors were dirt, and the bathrooms were right on the border of the concentration camp. In my cell there was a shovel, to do the soldiers chores with. The only problem was that my cell was all the way across the camp from the restrooms. Well I was making my plan up one question was going through my mind. Do I take the risk of asking someone if they are in the resistance or if they are willing to escape or risk death in this camp without ever seeing their family again?

That night I sneaked out of my cell and looked into the guard towers to see if they were paying attention, the soldiers were on break because it was past hours. I pretended I was going to the bathroom, on my way I gathered everyone and told them to bring a shovel. 

We were all crammed in the bathroom, as we started digging I heard a baby cry.

The woman quickly took some berries and gave them to the baby. 

I panicked because I waited to hear boots stomping, soldiers screaming in German, and for us to be caught and dead. But no one came running, as I sigh in relief, everyone starts digging. We plan to be done in about 3 hours, but we were risking being caught because the soldiers break is at  most an hour. We digged enough in an hour to begin packing the dirt down so the sound isn’t as loud, and so we don’t get dirt in our eyes. And in a few hours we were done. 

I started to point the way out when suddenly I got a question “ why aren’t women and children going first?” A person in the back asked.

 “Are we escaping to make sure women and children were safe or are we escaping for our country, to show the German’s that they can’t escalate their power by taking innocent, kind people who don’t deserve this?” Words just came out of my mouth but they sounded heroic, powerful, and inspiring.

 People were at a loss for words.

 I pointed the way and people ran for their lives and began to flood the coast and fight for their beliefs, for their families, for the future of their country. 

Until June 30, 1944 I tought young men and women how to fight until we pushed Germany to surrender. 

After Germany left I grabbed roses for my mother and I to make perfumes. 

The war lasted until September 2, 1945, for the last year I taught women how to fight and stand up for themselves. After the war I went home and hugged my father and mother. 

When suddenly I got a letter that said my sister Mary was dead. 

That a german soldier went into the house and killed everyone. 

After getting this letter I stayed in my room with thoughts, visualizations, and sounds circling my head of me braiding her hair and talking with her at my vanity every day before school started. How every morning she would ask mom what's for breakfast. How her blue eyes would always light up the room. 

We went on a trip to Paris 2 weeks after we got  this tragic news and all I could see was people on the streets hungry and on the edge of death. I still heard cannons and people screaming because they had been wounded or shot, I still saw the sad grey sky, and the dead plants. I knew at that moment France and Britain will never look the same. 

I am now 65 and still feel the impact of world war 2 and I know it will never go away. I still miss my sister who had passed away due to the war. But this is my life, my story, my legacy. 

                         Afterwords 

This story is about the women who fought for Britain as the female spies of the second world war. This book is inspired by Odette Hallowes and the D-day girls. Although Virgina smith is completely a character of my imagination though she still went through the hardships these remarkable women went through. The female spies worked to change the stereotypes of the 1940´s. These women have changed the way women are treated today.