Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the starship Enterprise sat in his captain’s chair, thoroughly bored.  They had been in and out of warp space for days now, and had yet to come across any civilizations with pretty girls in need of saving from some remarkable clever albeit c***y foe.  Normally they had some sort of excitement and mystery aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise, but for two weeks now it had all been quiet.  It was really starting to bug him.

The captain was not the only member of the crew that was perturbed by the unusual stillness of space. Recently, McCoy had been snappier than usual, and most people, mainly Kirk, were trying to keep out of sickbay. Not that this was really a hard task, considering people only got hurt on random rescue missions and ridiculous attacks, which, as mentioned earlier, there seemed to be quite a lack of.  Lieutenant Uhura had left the bridge for a bathroom break about five times in the last two hours, leading the Captain to believe that she was really just brushing her hair or doing her nails, or something girly to pass the time.  He also considered that maybe she wasn’t feeling well, and that he should refer her to sickbay, but she might take offense from that presumption, and he really didn’t think it was fair to make her deal with the sarcastic storm that was McCoy.  So Kirk said nothing.

Sulu was sitting at the pilot’s seat of the helm, looking very pleased with himself, which, by the way he was snickering every ten minutes, with the occasional scowl at Chekov, lead Kirk to believe that they were engaged in some sort of video game. Not that he blamed them. The last he’d heard of Scotty was that the engineer was taking apart some panels in the transporter room for the seventh time, claiming they needed upgrading. Not surprisingly Spock seemed to be the only one who wasn’t perplexed by the lack of adventure; he sat at his station performing various scans that Kirk had not payed attention to when his first officer had tried to explain them to him several times.

Just as Kirk was getting ready to start yanking out fistfuls of hair in frustration, there was a loud boom and alarms started blaring. “Finally something to do! Mr. Chekov! What was that?” Kirk called, probably sounding much too excited about an attack on his ship. Not that he cared.

“Keptin, it zeems to be a Klingon Bird of Prey.  Zey hawe uncloaked fiwe point zix meters starboard zir!”

“Shields up!”

“Already done sir!”

“Captain, there seems to be signs of life forms in cargo bay three. I believe that a party of seven Klingons have beamed aboard.” Spock said in his usual calm manner.

“Oh Goody! Action! Have a security go down there now. This is exciting.” The Captain was almost shouting for glee.

“Mr. Scotty is on the Comm sir!”

“Patch him through. Mr. Scott what seems to be the problem?”

“I need to reboot the entire left side transporters! They were knocked out when we were hit sir. Aye, I’m afraid if we don’t do something fast we’ll lose the rest of the ship. But none of the on duty engineers have the knowledge, and it’s a two person job.”

Chekov jumped up. “I can do zat!” and sped off to help.

“Chekov wait!” Sulu cried, but the young Russian was already out the door. “Captain, the Klingons have managed to get past the security team. They’re headed straight for Chekov!”

“Spock, Sulu, Uhura, you’re with me. Hanson you have the Conn!” Kirk cried as he and his senior officers ran after their youngest crew member.

“Captain,” Spock began. “I fear we may be too late.”

The four friends rounded the corner expecting the worst. But they were surprised. There, amidst the stunned and unconscious bodies of seven Klingons, stood Ensign Pavel Andreivich Chekov, leaning over a panel with lots of flashing lights.

“Chekov!” the Captain exclaimed, voicing the thought that was apparent on everyone’s faces.

“How in the world did you manage to take out all these Klingons?”

Chekov didn’t even glance up at them, just continued to tap away.  “It vas wery easy Keptin.  I revired the computer coms down ze hall to create a repulsor blast, zat took out zix of zem.  Zen I told the seventh zat I vas an expert veapons expert, only one of many in Starfleet. It scared him out of his vits. He vas so scared he forgot to run vhen I shot vith my phaser, zet to stun of course. I hawe already fixed the transporter beam and am now sending a wery annoyed message to ze other Klingons on ze sheep.  Zey forced me to stop playing Galaxia vith Sulu.  I was vinning. Now I vill zend zem back.”  Suddenly the Klingons dematerialized.

“Captain to bridge, what’s the situation up there?”

“The Bird of Prey has flown away Captain.”

“Good news!” Chekov said enthusiastically. “Now Hikaru, I believe ve shall get back to, vhat is ze phrase? Oh da, kicking your butt. Excuse us Keptin.” And Chekov started dragging the older pilot off to the bridge.  The other three officers stared after them, blinking in confusion at the little boy genius. Kirk slouched his shoulders and sighed.

“Great, now I’m bored again.”