Black all around me, black is the only thing I can see. I fumble around to try to find the lightswitch, and when I finally do I flick the lights on. A heavenly glow comes from the ceiling, and for a second I’m blinded. When I regain my vision, I slowly walk down the hall. I see your room and knock on the door. When there is no answer I open it. Expecting to find you asleep on your bed, but instead all I see is nothing. An empty bed stripped to the bare mattress, drawers once filled your cologne scented clothes now gone. White walls like a blank page waiting to be written on. A desk that once had a lamp atop it to light the room disappears as though a thief stole the sun in the night. A once filled closet leaves behind nothing but a single hanger swinging back and forth. My vision is blurred by upcoming tears. I close the closet door that’s beginning unbearable to look at even with all it’s emptiness. A sudden shiver washes over me and goosebumps appear on my arms. I quickly pull an old sweatshirt over my short-sleeve shirt in hopes to keep warm. I exit your room in hopes that you are downstairs.
I slowly walk down the stairs, almost too scared to make any noise. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, it’s dark. Yet again I search the wall for the lightswitch and finally turn the lights on. Nothing. All of a sudden I’m scared. I’m scared that you’re gone, scared that I will never see you again. Scared. A single glass of water rests on the table. I approach it slowly, cautiously. I take a small drink of the water, it’s cold. I quickly put the drink down and turn around at the sudden sound of footsteps coming closer and closer. I turn around and see you standing there with two full suitcases in your hands. I look at you shocked and the tears are on the urge of flowing again. We remain in the still position still looking at each other. All you say is, “Goodbye, I’m sorry.” After those words the next thing I see is your back as you walk out the door for the last time.
I couldn’t believe what had just happened. All of a sudden, an overflow of emotions comes rushing over me. Anger, sadness, and confusion. I hate you, God I hate you. But, I still cannot quite comprehend the events that just occurred. Again I’m scared. Scared as to what is going to happen to you. If you will be okay.
Later that night after I’ve cried myself out of tears, I hear the phone ring. I slowly force myself off of the couch and walk over to the phone. “Hello?” “Yes, is this Ms Johnson?’’, a lady says into the phone. Scared. “Yes, is everything okay?” “Not exactly, it appears that your boyfriend has been a fatal car accident.” Ex, ex-boyfriend, I think to myself. “I’m on my way.” I run to the car and drive about twenty over the speed limit. When I finally arrive at the hospital, I sprint to the front desk and tell them who I am looking for. The lady tells me the room number and where the elevator is.
After what felt like a never-ending elevator ride I arrive at room 241. I barge in and all I hear is the heart monitor beeping slowly, too slowly. I see you lying there, eyes closed and arms crossed over your chest. Scared. The doctor looks at me and asks me who I am. After I introduce myself, the doctor tells me that you didn’t have much time. I asked him what had happened to you and he simply responds with, “Drunk driver hit him head on.” Scared. All of a sudden the heart monitor stops beeping. The doctor calls his team into your room and I’m forced out. I walk to the waiting room and sit thinking of the worst case scenario.
Forty-five minutes later the doctor comes out, I stand quickly the fastest I’ve been able to do anything all night. The doctor told me that they did everything they could to save you, but they failed. One tear turned into two and two turned into twenty. I fall back into my seat. “Do you want to say goodbye?” Nodding my head unable to form words, I follow the doctor into room 241. I see you lying there like before, eyes closed and arms crossed over your chest. I say your name just to make sure, but there was no reply. Tears running down my face as I am unable to control them. You’re gone and I have to accept that. As I am kneeling next to you I lean over to your ear and whisper softly one last time, “Goodbye, I’m sorry.”