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Tears
Tears. I look in the mirror and all I see is tears and what remains of my makeup. I’m shaken out of my own glance by a knock on the door. “Come in,” I say barely audibly by my own ears. The door cracks open “Hello?” you say in that all too familiar voice. At the last minute I try to wipe all my tears from my mascara stained cheeks but it was too late. “What’s wrong? You know I hate seeing you cry.” I can feel you looking at me but all I can look at is how pathetic I look. “Do you have to go?” I ask quietly. A simple yes is all it took for the tears to pour out again like water running down a river. You walk over and put your large hand on my back and rub small circles. I try to form words but whenever I try my voice gives out. I feel weak, my hands and feet feel numb. I finally gain the strength to turn my head and make eye contact, only to bring the tears back again. I quickly sit down on the bed and put my face in my hands. You don’t say anything all you do is look at me with teary eyes. “Do you want to be alone,” you said, your voice cracking at the end due to tears. Still currently unable to from words I simply nod in response. When you close the door I can’t help but think of what life was going to be like now. Everything has changed. Nothing will ever be the same. What will happen? Will I ever be able to get over this? All the questions leave my head when I finally have the strength to stand and trudge to the mirror. I wipe away the tears and remove the mascara that has fallen unto my cheeks. I re-apply everything and walk out the bedroom door. When I walk down to stairs I hear a faint sound from the television. You look over to me smile and I smile pathetically back and walk to the couch. You turn the T.V. off and turn to look at me and I do the same. “When do you leave?” I ask. “My flight leaves at eight.” I glance over at the clock and see that it’s almost seven. “Are you packed?” “Mostly.” “Do you really have to go?” I’ve asked for the tenth time. “Yes, I’ve told you I just can’t do it anymore, it’s too much. I have to go home and be with my family and maybe I’ll consider coming back.” I sigh. “I need to finish packing, I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” he tells me while making his way upstairs. I lie down on the couch and close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
I wake up suddenly, looking for a clock to see what time is was. The clock read 8:30. Oh my god where was he? Did he leave? Surely not he would have to had to wake me up. I quickly run upstairs expecting to see him still packing but instead I see nothing. Tears fill my eyes again. I look around the room and see a piece of paper on the nightstand. I slowly walk over scared to see what it says. I pick up the letter and read it aloud:
Dear Caroline,
I saw that you were asleep so I didn’t wake you up, for I thought it would only want to make me stay. You know why I have to go so I’ll save you the trouble, but I am truly thankful for everything you have done in the past four years. I had such an amazing time and I wouldn’t have change a thing. It’s time for us to part ways, but not forever. We will certainly not be seeing the last of each other. I’m sorry. xoxo
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"They only let you be this happy when they're preparing to take something from you." -Khaled Hosseini, the Kite Runner.