I should have guessed from the minute I first saw you. You were so much like the both of us. You were strong, smart, kind. You lived for the Warrior Code. It was your anchor.

I should have seen it, the day Lionblaze and Breezepelt nearly drowned. I saw the concern cross your face as Lionpaw and Breezepaw were pulled from the choking, suffocating sand. I had the oddest sense of deja vu, something wiggling in my memory. I should have guessed

I felt it again, moons later, watching as you trained side-by-side with Tribe apprentices. The way your eyes narrowed, how you slightly flattened your ears in concentration made me stop and pause. You reminded me of me that day. I just didn't know it.

I should have known, the day you announced to the world that Squirrelflight wasn't your mother. The rage and pain and hurt in your eyes mirrored mine exactly. The way you held yourself, the way you planted your paws and raised your chin was completely Leafpool. I shouldn't have been so surprised.

I think I would have liked you. Your smart, thoughtful personality reminded me of Leafpool. Your temper and way of speech reminded me of me. While your brothers argued and fought, you played peacemaker. While they were off on some mouse-brained idea, you followed them, not to stop them, but to help.

I think I would have helped you. I would have taught you to run like WindClan. Fish like RiverClan. Stalk like ShadowClan. Climb like ThunderClan. I would have taught you how to fight in the ways of all four clans, and in the ways of the Tribe as well.

I think I would have loved you, if I had known you. You were the perfect mix of Leafpool and I, of trees and windblown grass, of strength and of speed. You weren't snappish and short-tempered like Jayfeather, who is completely me. You weren't kind and caring and worrisome like Lionblaze, who is completely Leafpool. You were a mix of both of us. I think I would have loved you for that.

I could have stood up at that fateful gathering, announcing like you were my daughter, that you were my blood. I could have told Nightcloud that I never loved her, that Breezepelt didn't feel like my son. I could have stopped you from running.

I could have gone to Leafpool when you 'died' the first time. I could have mourned you like a father should, thinking about things I could have done differently. I still loved Leafpool,even then. We would have been happier if we had left.

I could have swelled with joy the day you walked into the Gathering with the rest of your clan. I could of run over, greeting you, welcoming you into my life. But I didn't. You seemed different that day, sadder, weary. You reminded me of me more than ever.

I should have joined ThunderClan. Stayed with Leafpool. Raised you three as my sons and daughter from the start. I would have been with you. Helped you. Loved you. I could have been there from the start. From the second you were born for the rest of my life.

I should have been there, that day you died. It was in my territory. My camp. I would have run at Hawkfrost, knocking him out the way. I could have saved you. But I didn't.

I'm sorry I never got to know you. I'm sorry I rejected you, ignored you, treated you with scorn. I'm sorry the only time I excepted you were my daughter was after you died.

I'm sorry, Hollyleaf.

I should have. Would have. Could have been there.

Will you ever forgive me?