I never really knew how much I loved Ash. Not until he left. It was like his departure left a gaping hole right where my heart should have been. Even though it was I that sent him away, I still long for his return. It’s been one agonizingly long month since he left yet I know the next months will prove more tumoultous. Eleven months til I see his face again, eleven til he returns with the slain dragons.
Eleven months. I don’t know if I’ll survive that long – that sound so melodramatic even to me but I can’t change the way I feel. Finding your soulmate is the most amazing thing that can ever happen to a person. You realise that all your life up until that moment you’ve been leading a half-life. Then when that meeting comes its like WHAM and you realise that you are finally complete. Then to take the piece of you away is excruciatingly painful.
I know he has to atone for his past sins. I just hope I have enough strength to not distract him from that. It has taken a lot of will power for me to not clear my bank account and go to him in Vegas.
The only thing that keeps me sane is the stars. Our stars. The stars are there for both of us. The last thing he said to me was echoing in my head.
'Even when we’re apart we’ll be looking at the same sky.'
He was right. I know wherever he may be, he will spend the night gazing at the stars, thinking of me. As I would be thinking of him. Of that I was certain.