505 Haunted Hollow Blvd
Forks, WA 98331
idontsparkle@vampireforum.net
November 4, 2010


Stephenie Meyer
Little, Brown and Company
237 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017

Dear Stephenie Meyer:

I am extremely aggravated by the way you have portrayed me and the rest of my vampire “family” in your Twilight novels. Us vampires have always been popular in fiction novels, dating back to John William Polidori’s The Vamypre published in 1814. These vampire stories, however, are almost exclusively classified under the “horror” genre simply because of our natures; we are blood drinking, immortal creatures of the night that lurk in the corners of human minds, spreading a path of fear and destruction wherever we go. I am shocked at the way you have warped and twisted this classic figure and turned it into the abomination I now see myself as – a vampire who is often mistaken for a fairy, who sparkles and glitters in the sunlight, and who has inhibitions about killing innocents. I am sick and tired of having gaggles of teenage girls swarm around me begging for an autograph when they should, in fact, be fleeing in terror.

It strikes me as deeply unfair that I am made to suffer these horrors while my older and more distinguished cousins, such as Dracula, look down upon me and laugh. Unlike him, an infamous, selfish Count who scours the countryside hunting human meat, I am forced to attend high school repeatedly and remain hungry for weeks before carefully sampling a few scrawny, disgusting animals. Additionally, he has powerful telepathic and hypnotic abilities, can manipulate the weather and can shape shift. Although he has many more limitations as well, such as being repelled by garlic and dying if a stake pierces his heart, these are all classic vampire weaknesses. I, on the other hand, lack these characteristic traits and instead possess romanticized, simplified versions all targeted to make teenaged girls fall in love with me.

I would be fine with this, if it were in my nature to hunt and kill the girls once I have seduced them. This is a common practice for vampires, because it makes it easier to capture and kill our prey. Instead, you have made me a tortured, obsessed, masochistic individual who is constantly searching for “true love” and pondering the existence of heaven and h*ll. I am fixated upon Bella Swan, a human-turned-vampire, who I began stalking even before she was one of my kind. I was even against turning her into a vampire until she nearly died during childbirth.

In fact, this leads me to my next point – the consequences of having male vampires capable of falling in love with and bearing the children of humans. My baby girl, Renesmé, is only one of several other half vampire, half human children I know. I do not think you have considered the dramatic impact such interbreeding could cause on a global and social level. These “half-breeds”, as I will call them, hardly have any vampire weaknesses and blend into human crowds with far more ease than any vampire ever could. Some even have venomous bites that will turn a human into one of us. However, they would never be able to pass off as vampires, for they have a heartbeat and a pulse. This would probably create two distinct social classes, as has happened so often when humans intermarry between religions or races. Think, for a moment, of what would happen if these half-breeds decided to turn on us vampires. Aside from wars that are bound to attract human attention, they could potentially threaten to expose us to humans. So far, vampires have been kept quiet due to mutual agreement by all of us; humans could wipe us out of existence by sheer numbers and it is easier to catch unsuspecting prey. With a new variable in the equation, however, humans could easily discover that vampires exist, forcing us to turn hundreds of humans and use them to fight for us. This would lead to wars, massacres, and worldwide chaos.

If you are more worried about the sales of your books than a new World War, let me assure you that they will almost certainly remain steady despite this change of character. Dracula by Bram Stoker, Carmilla by Sheridan le Fanu, and the more modern Vampire Diaries series by L. J. Smith are all examples of novels featuring more malicious and/or powerful vampires that have nevertheless managed to become bestsellers. Your fan base might change, but it will most likely remain just as strong as it is today.

If you do change my nature and abilities, however, none of this will happen. You will be able to sleep soundly knowing that World War III is not yet imminent. I will no longer be tormented by thoughts of my weak, pathetic powers, and you will not have even a shred of guilt about torturing a poor, innocent soul such as myself. Even if I have failed to convince you to rewrite some sections of your novel, at least consider preventing other characters from sharing my terrible fate; it is something I would not wish upon my worst enemy.

Sincerely,

Edward Cullen
Main Character, Twilight