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Junie B. Jones: Middle School Extraordinare- Chapter 1- Not Almost 6
My name is Junie B. Jones. The ‘B’ stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all.
But no one calls me Junie anymore.
Now everybody I know calls me June B. but never, EVER, will I allow them to call me June Jones. It just sounds weird. The same way calling me ‘June Beatrice Jones” would sound weird. Sometimes I wish my parents had named me something else. When I was almost 6 (not WHEN I was 6; just nearly there) I wanted to be named Pinkie Gladys Gutzman. I still happen to find that a very interesting name. ANYTHING seems more interesting than “June Beatrice Jones”. That was around the same time I wanted to be a Beauty Shop Guy and so I cut off my own hair. Thank Good Gravy that Mrs. noticed and told my mother so that we could get it fixed all nice. I remember lots of stuff from when I was a little kid; hating the school bus, Mr. Scary, Lucille’s rich nana, being a dumb bunny……I could write a series of kids’ books about all the crazy things I did!
But I’m not almost-6 or 1st grade Junie B. Jones anymore.
I’m almost 12, and almost 12 means I’m going to middle school!
Middle school is a big school that big kids go to. It’s a giant leap from childhood to almost-kind of- adulthood; lockers, showers, popularity, YIKES! Fortunately, I’m set for my first day; I’ve got my best friends-since-kindergraden-when-I-was-almost-6. They’re names are Lucille and That Grace. Except I don’t call them that anymore, just like they don’t call me Junie B. anymore. I call Lucille Lucy and That Grace is Gracie now. I laugh whenever I think of the names I used to give people; Mrs., That Grace, Rich Nana…there were loads of them! Unfortunately, while my best friends are going to middle school with me, so are some kids I would be very pleased to run over with a big stupid smelly bus. Namely; May. I have not liked May since I sat next to her in First grade. We are NOT two peas in a pod. It doesn’t matter though, my OTHER best friends from 1st grade will be there with me; Jose, Herb, Lennie, and Sheldon. They are my boyfriends. But I’m NOT in love with them! Also there’s Jim. We hated each other in kindergarten, but now we have more of a sort of-friendly rival as mother would say. To get to my middle school, I must ride with a friend from long ago who didn’t start out as a friend.
His name is the school bus.
If you knew me when I was in kindergarten, you’d know about how much I hated the bus that was supposed to take me to school every day. After getting into BIG trouble in school over the bus (believe me, it’s a LONG story) and after meeting Gracie, the bus was a fun place. Kind of as much fun as recess! I jumped out of bed this morning and zoomed to my bathroom to get ready for the 6th grade. The mirror person looking back at me had messy plain brown hair (urgh! I ALWAYS wanted a more fascinating color of hair) that went a little past her shoulders, she was a little short (but mother said I’d shoot up in no time- Like a bean stalk!) and green eyes (again; BORING!!! I used to want two different colored eyes). I put my new 1950’s styled glasses before brushing my hair & teeth. I put on my new school outfit; a purple skirt that looked like velvet and a little pink sweater. I put white knee socks & shiny black patent leather shoes (I spit on them extra good so they’d be REALLY shiny!). I looked in the mirror again, happy with my outfit, but it was defiantly missing something. I tap, tap, tapped my chin wondering what it could be and then I saw it. A big, pink bow! I put it on speedy quick, and when I was satisfied with my appearance, I zoomed right into the kitchen to eat breakfast with my little brother Ollie.
Some things just never change; Even when you’re almost 12.
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This article has 34 comments.
I love this. It is the perfect voice, it sounds just like Junie B.!!!! I used to read those books all the time, and this brought back happy memories...
I really hope there will be more!