Once upon a spooky Halloween night, kids were out trick-or-treating. However, much darker actions were taking place on that night. No, I’m not talking about seasonal satanists, but rather, those who follow FSM. Nobody knows what the acronym stands for, except those who follow the teachings of FSM. It was on this Halloween night that the followers of the FSM were coming out to complete the will of the one they follow. Three members of the group sat around a fire with a pot of water boiling over it. Those members, each holding a specific noodle for the summoning ritual. As the ritual began the members started to recite the summoning, “Spaghetti forti o monstrum volantes. quod si mactaverimus ea quæ tibi sunt propria ita ut noodles plus aliquando oriri.” Each member of the group recited the ritual and put in the summoning noodles: rigatoni, campanelle, and lastly, spaghetti. Spaghetti being the most important of the noodles.  Once they finished the ritual, a ghastly fog of steam and smell of noodles appeared from the void of the night. The members of the group were confused. Did they just burn the noodles and nothing happened? All of a sudden, a behemoth of noodles shaping into a cosmic being appeared in the sky and exclaimed, “YOU  FOOLS ,  THIS  WORLD  IS  NOW  MINE!” the three members ran to the nearest hiding spot looking at one another. “What have we done? We have unleashed the FSM into our world.” As the mere mortals cower in their place of hiding, the behemoth of rigatoni, campanelle, and spaghetti appeared behind them. “I  AM  THE  ALMIGHTY FLYING  SPAGHETTI MONSTER ,  AND  I  WILL  TURN  THIS  WORLD  INTO  NOODLES  LIKE  COUNTLESS  WORLDS  BEFORE  THIS  ONE!” One of the members turns to the Flying Spaghetti Monster and speaks “well… I guess that’s ok. I mean it’s about time.” The FSM then turns to him and devours his entire being with his noodly appendages that somewhat represent tentacles. The FSM then turns away from the remaining members “NOW  I  SHALL DEVOUR  YOUR  WORLD.  ALL  OF  WHAT  YOU  KNOW  AND  LOVE  WILL  SOON  PERISH. “ The Flying Spaghetti Monster then moves away from the remaining two members who had summoned him into this world.
The men look at each other with fortifying faces, assuming they both had been spared by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. “Sooo- should we just go ahead and call the cops or do you just wanna go to my place and act like nothing happened”, asked one of the members. The other member replied, “well I suppose we could go to your place and act like nothing happened. I mean that is what I’ve been doing my entire life.” The two members stand up and begin walking away from the area as if nothing had ever happened. When they get to the house and turn on the television they see a news report of a monster made of pasta terrorizing the city. They turn off the television and look at each other before speaking simultaneously, “well, we messed up.”