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The Ultimate All-purpose Excuse
Come in! Come in! For the ultimate excuse to escape your life! Have you ever wondered about that one magical sentence that will get you out of trouble? I have too and with this excuse you will get out of anything you could imagine! The simple declaration "It's a science experiment" can answer anything that is thrown at you. Late to school? "Oh, It was a science experiment on late students." Late homework? "I was doing a science experiment on late homework." Forgot your wife's anniversary? "Sorry honey I was doing a science experiment on your reaction." Caught stealing a candy bar? "Police officers I was doing a science experiment on stealing." As you can see this excuse withstand any kind of situations.
The excuses don’t stop there! Another useful excuse to pay your way out of trouble is to say, "It's just a prank" and point at a random direction pretending where the camera is. By using this excuse you not only ease the situation and people will think you are filming YouTube videos! They will think you are a famous Youtuber and you will earn their trust! Got caught stealing a bike? "It's just a prank! I was filming a YouTube video" 'points'. Caught cheating? "It's just a prank honey! I'm filming a YouTube video!" 'points'. This excuse reverses any situations into your favor.
Another one! "It's for world peace." This excuse gives all the hipsters out there a satisfactory reason to not question you! It shows your devotion towards humanity and people will think you are the next Gandhi. "Why did you hit that man?" "It's for world peace." Failed to show up to your parents funeral? " It's for world peace." Caught breaking into someone's house? "It's for world peace" With repetitive use of this excuse you will gain people's respect in no time!
Too many excuses? This final excuse will solve the problem of excessive excuses! "Excuse me." By saying this you ask them to "excuse" you from all of the excuses that you are using! It will either enrage them or laugh because of your sarcasm. These excuses don’t just save your life. It will make them promote world peace.
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These excuses will save your life!!!