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An Uncommon Recipe
Recipe for a Concert Band: It Was (Almost) Perfect
Utensils needed:
3 bowls of different sizes
1 Whisk
1 pocketful of broken reeds
2 pocketfuls of new reeds
4 vials of conducting batons (preferably with spring)
2 craters of percussion equipment
1 garden of chairs
1 podium
20+ attic-fulls of shelves of music
3 winks of seating charts
Up to 2 conductors, but never less than 1
1 to 3 moonbeams of practice rooms
1 empire of band rooms
5 sprinkles of tuners (to try and tune the piccolos and oboes)
1 wink of white board with markers (for throwing at the percussionists at the back of the room [or writing rhythms on the board, what ever suits your fancy])
1 pocketful of lockers for instruments (to be used for sleeping)
Main ingredients:
Around 6 bus loads of band geeks (This will fluctuate. Do not panic if there is more than 10)
3 shakes of trumpets (Careful of egos, I hear they are as big as the sun)
2 dabs of tubas (Careful to get one with a favorable lung supply)
2 dabs of trombones (Get ones who are not shy)
4 dabs of french horn (You may only find one photon available, in which case use 1 photon)
5 dabs of clarinets and bassoon (a mixed variety)
1 beaker of saxophones (Make sure there is a little sass with these)
1/2 beaker of bari saxophones (Make sure spontaneity is here)
5 dabs of flutes (Make sure there is not too much flirt)
1/2 dab of piccolos (Make sure the annoyance level not much more than a half photon)
1/2 wink of oboes [See piccolo (Okay maybe less than a half...more like a quarter)]
1/2 a wink of other instruments band geeks don’t think of playing (These are uncommon ones [such as an E-flat clarient or piccolo saxophone]. Do not question.)
Dressing ingredients:
700 knapsacks of jokes and fun
2 heartbeats of love (Up to 70 heartbeats can be used and it will not change the directions)
10 lifetimes of patients (More may be required. Way. More.)
Topping Ingredients:
20 bins full of Dinkels, please keep in mind different sizes
100 or more hangers to hang up Marching Band uniforms
100 or more Marching Band uniforms
30 knapsacks of flip folders and lyres with 40 clear pages available for each
6 vials of Themes for the halftime show no one cares about except band geeks (Anything less will cause scrutiny amongst the band geeks. More is fantastic)
Directions:
1. Make sure that the 1 empire of band rooms is big enough. Add chairs, podium, conductor, white board with markers, batons, music, seating charts, reeds (broken and new), percussion equipment, practice rooms, lockers for instruments, and tuners.
2. Mix band geeks with tubas, trombones, saxophones, bari saxophones, flutes, french horns, oboes, piccolos, clarinets, bassoons, and other instruments that band geeks don’t think of playing into a big bowl. For best results let stand for twenty minutes.
3. For dressing: Whisk together in a medium bowl 10 lifetimes of patients with 700 knapsacks of jokes and fun for at least five minutes. Slowly pour the 2 heartbeats of love into the dressing and then whisk for another two minutes. Put aside.
4. Mix toppings together in a small bowl. Put aside.
5. Once school opens, pour everything together.
6. Add more ingredients as the years pass.
P.S. Opps! I forget to say it was NOT suppose to sit for summer! It was almost perfect.
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This is a fun peice that has a style called an uncommon recipe. Instead of the normal standard way we measure ingredients, uncommon measuremets are used. Examples of these uncommon measurements are winks, vials, pocketfuls, dabs, attics, creaters, moonbeams, empires, busloads, and so forth. Since my highschool's band just got done with our spring concert cycle and began graduation music, it happened to be what I wrote about.